AIBU to wonder why a whole family of four have to do the supermarket shop together

[marriedinwhite]

Now I may be unreasonable but why is that mum, dad, and two small children have to go to the supermarket together. None of them seem to enjoy it; the children get in the way and bicker, the adults just seem to bicker and be irritated. This especially seems to be the case on Saturdays and Sundays. Why do people do this? Wouldn't it make more sense for one parent to do the shopping and the other to take the children to the park, for a walk or just chill out at home with them round the tv. It just doesn't seem to be a very effective way to use family time.

YABU, my little ones love doing the shopping with DH and myself, the each have their own little list and help us find things, it teaches children about shopping, where food comes from, different types of food and money etc.

Having said that if DC's were fighting or running around my DH would remove them until they calmed down while i continued the shopping.

OK thanks for all your replies. I didn't actually realise anyone ejoyed going to the supermarket. Have to confess I find it a boring chore and something I want done as quickly as possible. When the DC were little (before school) I used to take them and have lovely times talking about different fruit and veg and colours and counting apples - but that was during the week when DH was at work. As they got bigger I either went when they were at school and when I went back to work go on a Friday evening. I only occasionally go supermarket shopping on Saturdays and am just surprised that's all. I wasn't judging I just asked why people did it all together when IMO the DC could be having fun with one or other of the parents. It's just that we divvi up the jobs and get them all done and then everyone's free on say, a Sunday afternoon.

We do it as my husband drives us there and carries all the stuff Also I dont know what he will want its easier if he goes and chooses. The same goes for me I never know what I want until I get there.

I have never had my DD kick off in a supermarket though, kids love it ime because they get to ride the trolley. I used to look forward and get excited about that when I was a kid. Also you make out like there isnt a lot of family time, some families do a lot in one weekend a typical day for us on a weekend would be beach, then lunch out, then round friends, then asda on the way home.

I would probably do it in the week when dh was working if I drove but I don't so we tend to stop off on the way from somewhere to avoid dh having to make a trip on his own on a Saturday which is the only day he has with the kids. It also saves petrol to go when you are going somewhere else anyway.

Also you say you divvy up jobs from fri night until sun morning neither of us usually do any chores at all at home. Its something we only do in the week so we have all weekend free.

Well you're lucky Dora. By the time I get home it's usually 6.30, have a tidy up, cook supper, clear up, chat to dc, sort out any issues, put on a machine load, make sure place is tidy. Usually 9ish before I sit down and then I think I need a rest because it all starts again the next day.

Jobs that need divvying up are: ironing (always me), changing beds (always me), garden (always DH), windows and sills (always DH), watering - me or DH, take dd for singing lessons - depends, drop ds to school for saturday matches, dd and I to church Sundays - I'm often on duty in some way, DH takes DS to sporty things Sunday mornings. I would love, just love to get everything done during the week but for us it isn't physically possible. Plus of course the little things like collecting dry cleaning, taking shoes to menders, and sorting out little jobs like light bulbs, etc.

I think thats the difference then I work in the week but start at 7.30/8 finish earlier and that gives me time to do it so its all done and DD asleep by 6pm. Husband does a days cleaning on a friday. Then I have nights and weekends to ourselves so supermarket never seems stressful its just part of our day.

I also have low standards

YABU. Not your business really.

Mum doesn't drive. Mum can't handle 2 small kids (I'm assuming pre-nursery here) and do the shopping by herself. Mum might want the kids to see that food doesn't just magically appear on the table. The family might just need to get out and bicker between some different walls from usual. Both mum and dad work and it's the only time they get to do the shopping.

We've always done our shopping as a family of 4, for several of these reasons. If you don't like it, why don't you do your shopping at a different time?

Because I haven't yet passed my driving test and it is the only time I get to go out further than I can walk. Plus I also can see the new food and choose what I want to eat. DH also likes to do this. So we all go.

Tragic that a trip to Sainsburys is the highlight of my week but it is what it is and won't be forever.

My DS (aged 4) is autistic and he is learning an awful lot from every supermarket experience in a safe way because he is incapable of walking to the local shops and waiting even a minute to pay for an item without feeling completely overwhelmed. Now he is proud to be involved in paying for things and knows the "rules" about shops.

Don't be so fucking judgemental and unimaginative.

Love from IoL

I get a delivery. But we do sometimes all go on the way back from somewhere. Generally it's not the kids that cause issues though, if I do any kind of shopping with DH we end up spending twice as much and taking twice as long :). We used to shop together when it was just the two of us though.

Another vote for online shopping here.

I can't rememebr the last time me and DW went to a supermarket together and I dont think we have ever been as a family and DS1 is 11 now. In fact DSs have hardly ever been in a supermarket. They just wander around picking things up and openly wondering out loud how all the products get in the shop.

I occassionally go to a supermarket (about once a year) and I just stand in awe and wonderment looking at families arguing in them. I just keep silently mouthing the words Why oh why oh why are you doing that to yourselves?

YABU
My kids want to come with us and they like to pick their own bits and bobs for packed lunch and get some choice in evening meals.
Mine will bicker as the youngest picks stuff up and the oldest is always saying, put it away but kids bicker anyway.

Then again, sorry OP, I am just as guilty.

I judge and wish awful things on long-retired people who clog up small supermarkets doing their monthly shop at lunchtime when most working people (usually women with families) are hoping to dash in and out with the essentials they can't buy at any other time.

They pretend to not know how a debit card works even though I have seen them before and they are serial offenders.

Then they spend half an hour and about twenty quid on lottery and scratch-cards!

If and when I survive long enough to be drawing a pension I will never hit the shops at lunchtime or weekends.

Rubyx - you give your children choices about what they eat?

Where on earth are you lot you see all these families arguing in he supermarket. I rarely see that happen, even when I am on my own. Is it really that big a stress?

Infestation - my boys (5 and 7) are both autistic and we do find it important to keep the whole shopping routine fresh in their heads. We choose M&S early on a Saturday, because it's small and there's other shops nearby or Sainsburys on a weekday evening - it's quiet then and our shop has covered ceilings and relatively calm acoustics. When DS1 was a baby, he would scream all the way around Tesco or Asda because of the uncovered, noisy air ducts and the fact that those particular stores were so over-stimulating. Heck, I'm usually either homicidal or wanting to curl up in a ball and cry by the time I've been through those places.

Once DH and the boys have caught up with me, having done whatever errand they wanted to do to start with (tonight, DS1 is going to look at the Lego in Smyths) they zip around the store picking up things I've missed or choosing stuff that they want and bringing it to me. DS1 also likes tidying up the shelves - they should be paying us to shop there!

And by the end of the trip, I'm glad to hand over the trolley to DH to load onto the belt, since I have arthritis and do find it painful to push at that point.

As for Internet shopping - we have no Waitrose up here, so given my hatred of tesco and dislike of Asda's product range, my one choice is, once again, Sainsburys. For some reason, the product range is much smaller than our local store and the website constantly craps out on me. After it spat out and lost almost my entire trolley, a couple of months ago, I've given up online supermarket shopping as a bad job.

ilovedora - I think some people need to be choosier about which supermarkets they frequent