Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why a whole family of four have to do the supermarket shop together

144 replies

marriedinwhite · 27/07/2011 10:09

Now I may be unreasonable but why is that mum, dad, and two small children have to go to the supermarket together. None of them seem to enjoy it; the children get in the way and bicker, the adults just seem to bicker and be irritated. This especially seems to be the case on Saturdays and Sundays. Why do people do this? Wouldn't it make more sense for one parent to do the shopping and the other to take the children to the park, for a walk or just chill out at home with them round the tv. It just doesn't seem to be a very effective way to use family time.

OP posts:
venusandmars · 27/07/2011 11:13

Perhaps it is to let the dad know what it's like going to the supermarket with 2 dcs, because otherwise he might think SAHM has an easy time of it every day.

Or perhaps to let the dc understand that sometimes there are boring chores which have to be done, and life does not rotate around providing exciting activites / learning / play.

mrskbpw · 27/07/2011 11:14

Why do you care? We all shop together sometimes. Because we only have weekends together and we like each other. My husband and I both cook so we both like to plan what we're eating during the week. Sometimes my older son will have a meltdown but to be honest, he could do that anywhere - the park, the swimming pool, the Natural History Museum...

pointydog · 27/07/2011 11:14

It is also a sign of the permitted ineptness of many men that they somehow cannot do a supermarket shop on their own.

pointydog · 27/07/2011 11:15

That is so grim if those reasons are behind it, venus

stupefy · 27/07/2011 11:16

Bil and sil do it, on a Saturday afternoon.

It's because he likes to control the purse strings. It's a family trait but I don't put up with it from dh. Sil doesn't work so doesn't have much choice.

ramade · 27/07/2011 11:19

If we got rid of all the children from supermarkets for you marriedinwhite, then very soon you would be bothered by slow people who take too long choosing stuff, then old people who's arthritic fingers can't pick out the money from their purses!

My advice - learn to live around people.

smallwhitecat · 27/07/2011 11:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheMonster · 27/07/2011 11:24

I agree with karma. If you don't like it, then shop online.

We go as a family.

fanjobanjowanjo · 27/07/2011 11:27

YANBU. For all those papping on about planning the meals together while there, why can't this be done at home? That's what I do - we sit together with the recipe box and decide what we'd like for the week.

It can be a complete PITA going at the weekends, that's why I generally do it on a monday night and leave the weekends for families with small kids!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 27/07/2011 11:30

YABU. I can understand judging someone who gives their newborn a packet of Quavers or something but judging over how many people go to the supermarket? We are truly scraping the barrel of judgement here. They can take their aunts, uncles and granny for all I care. So what?

Ormirian · 27/07/2011 11:32

OP isn't judging anyone. She is simply wondering why anyone would choose to do it. After 14 years of being a parent I would have to be paid good money to take all my family with me.

Sharney · 27/07/2011 11:34

In the time we didn't have a car we got the groceries delivered. There's noway I'd take the whole family, surely it'd cost a fortune! It's not just the kids that say, can I have, can I have.

Niecie · 27/07/2011 11:36

Why can't we plan what we eat as we go round though? What harm does it do? We don't have time to waste sitting around at home discussing it. We just get on and shop. I've been cooking dinner for people for 30 odd years (used to do it as a chore as a teenager) I don't need to get out recipe books and have a conversation about it. We see what is on special offer, think about what we had last week, avoid that if possible and chose something for the coming week. No need for a big planning conversation about it.

I don't get all those people who want to banish families from the shop because they find it such a hateful chore and don't want anybody in their way - why don't they do it online and leave the rest of us who don't like the online method to get on with it without being judged for going out as a family?

BabyDubsEverywhere · 27/07/2011 11:37

Haha, you'd hate us, we not only all go round together but also let the kids sit in the trolley and eat as they go and pay at the end.... It makes it quite enjoyable for us all, mostly as I enjoy all the tuts from tarquinius' yummy mummy that our unruly children are happy and laughing and enjoying themselves doing all the things her dc aren't allowed to do as mumsnet declares it scummy.... I love my weekly shop Grin

CinnabarRed · 27/07/2011 11:38

"OP isn't judging anyone. She is simply wondering why anyone would choose to do it."

Fair enough to wonder. Answers seem to be:

  1. Some people do actually enjoy it
  2. It's still precious time together as a family
  3. It's less stressful with two adults
  4. It's a chance to teach children valuable life skills
  5. Some children behave OK and don't run amok
  6. It's a necessity for practical reasons.
GwendolineMaryLacey · 27/07/2011 11:40

Yes she is, otherwise she wouldn't be so insistent that their family time could be put to better use.

cardibach · 27/07/2011 11:40

I wonder this, too. Many people have given reasonable explanations, which I accept - and I agree with whoever said it isn't the families that are making the OP wonder, but the poor behaviour/supermarket etiquette.

I further wonder, living as I do in a beautiful area, why people on holiday choose to spend so much time in the supermarket, and why they all seem to have forgotten what type of bread/tea/whatever they like and have to debate for ages while blocking the aisle. Time to switch to ionternet shopping for the duration of the summer season, I think...

TheMonster · 27/07/2011 11:47

I would see sitting at home with a recipe box as a waste of time!

BlueFergie · 27/07/2011 11:51

God it never fails to astonish me how many things I do that piss people off, and i never even knew about. Before coming on Mumsnet I never realised that it was a no no to let your kids eat in the supermarket or to sit in the trolley. And now it turns out I should only be going to the supermarket alone.
Not that I should have to justify myself or my family being in a public place but here is our reaosns. I am a SAHM so do the big shop once every 2 weeks with one or both kids in tow depending on whether it is school holidays or not. At weekends we often go to the supermarket to pick up a few bits, DH likes to pick up his snacks for weekends and I often need to top up the groceries/ get presents or clothes for kids etc.
My DH also works incredibly long hours and our weekends are very precious so we do like to spend all the time we can together.
YABU stop worrying about how other people spend their time and concentrate on your own family

SusanneLinder · 27/07/2011 11:53

If I don't take my DH and DC's shopping, I can do it faster and cheaper! :)

On the rare occasions I do take them is cos I need someone else's imput in what to eat that week (within reason). Anyway, I can't plan till I get there, cos I don't know what's on special offer that week.

I couldn't care less if the whole family plus inlaws and grannies go as long as:

1.I can reach the shelves without, having to say "excuse me" several times, before some eejit moves to let me get my baked beans.

2 . 25 people congregate for a chat complete with trolleys in middle of ailses, and nobody can get past.

  1. People stop their kids running around and stop treating the place like a racetrack.

Btw, I never ever shop on Saturdays/Sundays if I can possibly help it-too stressful. :)

Lady1nTheRadiator · 27/07/2011 11:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Georgimama · 27/07/2011 11:59

I can understand why people do it, but not when they are going to get so stressy with each other about it. However it is their time to waste as they wish. I sit at home and do an internet shop, to be delivered as early as possible in the morning so we are not even waiting in for it. I can order and pay for an online shop in less than the time it takes to drive to the supermarket. And the delivery charge is less than the petrol to drive there and back would cost. But we do live in the arse end of nowhere.

SilveryMoon · 27/07/2011 12:03

We sometimes all shop together and it really annoys me.
I can't send dp on his own because he has proven time and time again that he is incapable of reading a shopping list.
So he waits for me to say that I am going shopping and he'll say "I'll come with you"
Then if I say "well if you're going, then I'll stay here and do a few bits"
to which he will get the ump and say "well I know you're busy so I thought I'd come to help and we'd all be able to spend some time together"

I think for very busy families, it might be the only time to do it all, but then there is on-line shopping isn't there.

I don't have a strong enough opinion to think whether or not YBU though

HopeForTheBest · 27/07/2011 12:04

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on request of its author.

bigkidsdidit · 27/07/2011 12:07

All these posters saying they have to go because their DHs are incapable of doing a supermarket shop! Shock Seriously? They are seriously incapable of reading a list and putting things in a trolley and paying? FGS

Swipe left for the next trending thread