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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to wonder why a whole family of four have to do the supermarket shop together

144 replies

marriedinwhite · 27/07/2011 10:09

Now I may be unreasonable but why is that mum, dad, and two small children have to go to the supermarket together. None of them seem to enjoy it; the children get in the way and bicker, the adults just seem to bicker and be irritated. This especially seems to be the case on Saturdays and Sundays. Why do people do this? Wouldn't it make more sense for one parent to do the shopping and the other to take the children to the park, for a walk or just chill out at home with them round the tv. It just doesn't seem to be a very effective way to use family time.

OP posts:
thisfantasticvoyage · 27/07/2011 10:21

...or maybe some couples are just joined at the bleeding hip.

doesntfitin · 27/07/2011 10:21

YABU

People can spend their time how they like

and lol at the it only happens in Asda comment ,yeah right, we all know Waitrose is the only shop that MNetters use Hmm

TheSecondComing · 27/07/2011 10:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Collision · 27/07/2011 10:21

YANBU!

I do the shopping because-itmeans-I-canhave-an-hour-to-myself as I have more time than DH but the noise of small children and mum and dad all together moaning and bored drives me bonkers!

Original poster
marriedinwhite · 27/07/2011 10:22

But even if were are all on the way back from somewhere DH and the DC elect to stay in the car and listen to music if nothing else. Perhaps we are the odd ones.

OP posts:
biddysmama · 27/07/2011 10:22

we used to all go shopping (family of 5) because i dont drive and the babies dont leave me (without screaming) now i just do it all online and a nice man delivers it all into my kitchen :)

Ormirian · 27/07/2011 10:22

Good question. It's hell for everyone including shop staff and other shoppers if the kids run amok.

Ditto bloody A&E when an entire family of 7 seemed to fill half of the waiting room and the bored witless DC ran round screaming and shouting, because one girl was injured. There were 2 parents. Why where they all there? It was after 9pm at night. Weird.

CinnabarRed · 27/07/2011 10:23

We do it.

DH is an oddity in that he actively enjoys shopping - he sees it as a mental challenge to find the best bargains.

DS1 (3.8 years) loves to have some say over the things we choose and to put them in the trolley.

DS2 (15 months) love to sit in the trolley to charm old ladies and pinch people's bottoms when they bend over. Blush

I go because I like to see the three of them interacting and enjoying themselves.

So far, both have behaved wonderfully every time, although I'm not expecting that to continue (and they have their moments elsewhere). The one time the boys get bored is at the tills - then I take them to the cafe for a special treat, and DH pays and packs.

sleepindogz · 27/07/2011 10:24

oh this is one of my bugbears, even more so when there are more than 2 kids! I mean what fun is it for kids. Why doesnt one of them take the kids to the park or even a field to play while the other does the shopping?

i saw one group the other day mum, dad and four blimmin kids! The kids were unruly and the dad was just as bad, spinning the trolley round and winding the kids up to a frenzy. Mum was just ignoring them. The thing is there is a huge field next door they could have run all that energy off in

bah humbug!

belgo · 27/07/2011 10:25

Maybe they were returning from a morning out and stopped off at the supermarket on the way home? We've done that.

And during the holidays I mostly have to take all three of my children shopping with me, moaning or not.

Filibear · 27/07/2011 10:26

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

belgo · 27/07/2011 10:27

sleepingindogz - that family with four children you saw, including the dad spinning the trolley around; obviously all of them going to the supermarket was a novelty for them! And the mother who ignored them all - she is well used to them!

nenevomito · 27/07/2011 10:27

We sometimes do this. Youngest DC likes going to the shops. Oldest DC doesn't care, but if youngest is going suddenly wants to go. Neither DH or I fancy doing the shop with both children alone, so we often go together.

Its quicker as well - We split up to get what's on the list.

Don't see why you should care TBH. Its akin to "AIBU to watch paint dry".

Muckyhighchair · 27/07/2011 10:27

I our house do the shopping together. only because I'm fairly fussy and dp likes to have a bargain, plus as we share the cooking it means that can all we need for the week.

And I take ds, if I give a few items to remember, he's very good at reminding me. Bless him!

lucysmum · 27/07/2011 10:27

if we both end up at the supermarket eg on way home from somewhere - one of us stays in the car and listens to the radio/snoozes/reads paper. Bliss!

SuburbanDream · 27/07/2011 10:28

Was just going to post what Belgo said. We used to do shopping together on the way back from outings, because it was more convenient and after having the DCs I had a terrible bad back and couldn't carry everything myself. These days I do as much on line as possible!

CinnabarRed · 27/07/2011 10:29

Plus, DH and I both work FT. We want to spend time together, but we don't want everything we do with our DC to be fun treats and days out. I think it's important that sometimes we do the routine stuff together too.

hazeyjane · 27/07/2011 10:29

Orm, re the a+e, we have done this with 3 children, when ds has been ill, because if he had to stay in then I would be the one to stay, and I can't drive, so we all go, on the whole the girls are pretty good and see the hospital as a bit of an adventure!

bamboobutton · 27/07/2011 10:29

we all go because i can't drive and the supermarkets we want to go to are too far for me to walk to with a double buggy.
if dh goes, even if sent with a microscopically detailed list, he comes back with half the list missing as he couldn't find it. he couldn't find the whole baby aisle one time he went aloneHmm how can you not find a whole aisle!!

save your bile for the people that stand with their trolley sticking out blocking the whole aisle while they decide which bread to buyAngry

caughtinanet · 27/07/2011 10:32

Totally agree, its madness. Are there really people who actively enjoy such an outing ? All the families I see are bad tempered and shouting at the children to try and stop them running wild.

I just can't imagine a situation which would lead to me doing a family shop with family in tow.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 27/07/2011 10:32

I don't mind it so much as the couple-shopping where the man (and, let's face it, it is nearly always the man) decides that his wit ahd humour is just too much for one person and he must therefore share it with everyone around him. This involves him jabbing unsuspecting (female) shoppers in the ribs when they've failed to hear him tried to ignore him and physically holding on to your trolley to prevent your escape whilst his partner smiles, all serene. Hmm

2shoes · 27/07/2011 10:32

yanbu I can't think why anyone would do that, it is pure madness

tjacksonpfc · 27/07/2011 10:33

We always go together on a friday after school. The dcs love it we normally have dinner in the cafe first so they aren't moaning they are hungry all the way round. Then they get to choose what they have in their packed lunches for the following week.

Yes it is quicker when theres no dcs involved but hey if they aren't causing a problem whats wrong with all of us going. Plus i need dp to carry the stuff and lift it into the car for me.

dikkertjedap · 27/07/2011 10:35

I really don't understand why you find it so upsetting. If people bicker then just don't listen to them, it is none of your business anyway.
I always take my dd with me when I go shopping, I consider it part of giving her a good education, finding out about different foods, reading labels, dealing with money. It is not just about doing everything quick IMO. Boy, I really dislike the attitude some people have towards children and others, I find a lot of people becoming more and more intolerant of others, here in this country.

berkshirefem · 27/07/2011 10:35

This pisses me right off too... Why oh why oh why??!! No one wants to do the shopping, why make everyone do it! I have seen familys from my DDs school at the shops on a saturday, 3 school age kids and both parents in tow... why the frikkinghell not do it alone when the kids are at school in the week? You could ask the kids if there's anything they need and plan the menu together, then go off and get in done in 40 minutes... grrr...

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