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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off that DP has gone camping with 2 other girls and NOT been in touch?

162 replies

throwhimtothepanther · 27/07/2011 10:07

So... DP is a teacher and has commenced his six week holidays, he asked me if he could go camping with 2 of his FEMALE colleagues from work that he's only known for only one (academic) year. One girl I have never met and one I barely know! I reluctantly agreed. They even set up an (exclusive- no invite for me) facebook group to arrange said camping trip! So I left for work yesterday morning, no word from him, I text him at 3pm to ask if he'd set off yet. An hour and a half later he text me back to say he had no signal earlier (fair enough) but that he is switching his phone off so that he can call me later. Half past 9 at night and still no response. I had just returned from tea at my grandad's to find that he had even taken the only tube of toothpaste and left me without any! The house was in a mess (why do Men think it's ok to not do ANY housework? He's a teacher, he works less hours than I do, lives five minutes away from his place of work whilst I have to commute 40 mile round trip and still thinks that cooking tea is the be all and end of all of the housework, even though he's currently on holiday!). So (still no word) I text him this morning to say I hope for his sake he's been eaten by a black panther and that if I don't hear from him soon I'm going to start auctioning his things on ebay! So... Was I BU?

OP posts:
LadyFlumpalot · 27/07/2011 12:26

Bruxeur - Forgive me, little confused here, how is the OP being sexist? All I see is that she is annoyed because her DP didn't do the housework.

JamieAgain · 27/07/2011 12:28

Thankyou LadyFlumpalot Blush

OP made a sexist generalisation ("why do men think it's OK not to do any housework?"). I glossed over it because I detected a slight annoyance when she was writing her op

bruxeur · 27/07/2011 12:31

As mentioned above - the "miffed" defence for sexism, which as also mentioned above probably wouldn't work so well with genders reversed.

LadyFlumpalot · 27/07/2011 12:31

Ahhh, I see. That notion never even entered my pretty little head Grin

JamieAgain · 27/07/2011 12:35

bruxeur - you seem a little fed up. Are you on the rag?

alistron1 · 27/07/2011 12:35

Whenever we go camping it is nigh on impossible to get a mobile phone signal, also if someone wants to go off for a sexfest, under canvass is not the best of venues

YAB a bit U, not totally U and maybe YA slightly NU.

LadyFlumpalot · 27/07/2011 12:39

alistron1 - especially if you still have a lamp lit...

HowlingBitch · 27/07/2011 12:43

For some reason I have this image of bruxeur running around the playground with a runny nose exclaiming "It's sexism ya' know!" to anyone who will listen.

For what it's worth if I went away camping with two men my DP didn't know and he didn't hear from me I would expect him to be farking farked off. Not out of jealousy (Well, Maybe alittle he loves camping Hmm ) but out of concern for my welfare.

The fact that I didn't ring him to say I got there safely etc would piss him off because he loves me.

CinnabarRed · 27/07/2011 12:57

I took the "irritating as hell" comment to mean that the OP found the woman that she actually met to be "irritating as hell". Not necessarily that the DP has described her as "irritating as hell".

tethersend · 27/07/2011 12:57

Would it be sexist if I copped a cheeky feel whilst we hug, bruxeur?

I can't help myself.

Alibabaandthe80nappies · 27/07/2011 12:59

DH pulled this face Hmm when I read him this thread.

He is a fan of camping for it's own sake, but even he says that a bloke going on a camping trip with two women is almost certainly hoping to shag one or both of them.

The housework and toothpaste is a whole other issue and I would be furious.

FunnysInTheGarden · 27/07/2011 13:07

Surely it's 'I sent him a text' and not just 'text'.

And OP YANBU he sounds like a prize twat and I would be getting rid asap.

goneallmushy · 27/07/2011 13:16

TBH ,this is a pretty pointless thread,i would have given him an ultimatum and said that if he wanted to go camping with two women,fine but your clothes will be in black bags waiting for you when get back but i wont,simple whats more important?but hes already gone on his jollies now,so no point in moaning about it now! also i thought the whole point of mumsnet is that most posters on here have kids but perhaps im wrong???

ClaireDeLoon · 27/07/2011 13:19

Yes most posters have kids, but not all, and mumsnetters tend to be quite tolerant of that.

ShowOfHands · 27/07/2011 13:41

I've just been to North Devon on holiday. You could get a mobile reception if you hiked up a hill, entered Tesco's fruit and veg section, stood on one leg and wiggled your eyebrows.

It's what passes for tourist entertainment in them there parts. Otherwise, you're at their mercy until your journey home and at least Porlock.

goneallmushy · 27/07/2011 13:49

perhaps im not such a tolerant person clairedeloon Hmm

heathermumof3 · 27/07/2011 13:51

Bruxeur I think it is a little sad you have to correct peoples grammar. If you don't like don't read it.
Also I would never let my DP go camping with two girls not a chance.

LadyFlumpalot · 27/07/2011 14:11

Jeez, not only have the punctuation twats police come out in force for this one, now we are joined by the "you don't have kids? You ain't welcome on Mumsnet!" brigade!

For the two posters who have picked the OP upon this, maybe they are TTC?

HPonEverything · 27/07/2011 14:17

Isn't it better that he's gone with 2 girls rather than 1? Unless it's a highly 'saucy' trip then what's Girl 2 going to get up to while Girl 1 is busy with the OP's DP?

thesunshinesbrightly · 27/07/2011 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

ChazsBrilliantAttitude · 27/07/2011 14:23

HPonEverything Girl 2 will be duing the housework (tentwork?) as OP's DP sure as hell isn't!

CaptainNancy · 27/07/2011 14:28

If they are TTC, then they have serious problems in their relationship, don't they?

ClaireDeLoon · 27/07/2011 14:36

Do they have serious problems in their relationship? As far as I can see they have niggles (housework, he can be condescending), but lets face it there are loads of relationships with far bigger problems where the couple go on to have children.

Sometimes people who are ttc their first do have the odd argument, perhaps over whose turn it is to clean the bathroom, shocking concept though that is.

HPonEverything · 27/07/2011 14:53

ChazsBrilliantAttitude* Well even if the tentwork isn't done, at least they'll all have very clean teeth. (Sorry OP)

HPonEverything · 27/07/2011 14:56

My advice is STOP texting him, be as ambivalent as he is, and you don't want to risk them all laughing at your ire.

When he gets back (assuming your relationship is continuing) you need to seriously tackle the housework issue. I've left someone in the past over the fact he was a slob and did nothing whilst I did all the cleaning, it's just not on.

Just trust him, your relationship will not work if there's no trust and you may as well give up now.

Oh and buy toothpaste on 2-for-1s, my DH is also a pain for taking the toothpaste off on trips so I make sure there's loads spare, it's not worth divorcing over.