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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be pissed off that DP has gone camping with 2 other girls and NOT been in touch?

162 replies

throwhimtothepanther · 27/07/2011 10:07

So... DP is a teacher and has commenced his six week holidays, he asked me if he could go camping with 2 of his FEMALE colleagues from work that he's only known for only one (academic) year. One girl I have never met and one I barely know! I reluctantly agreed. They even set up an (exclusive- no invite for me) facebook group to arrange said camping trip! So I left for work yesterday morning, no word from him, I text him at 3pm to ask if he'd set off yet. An hour and a half later he text me back to say he had no signal earlier (fair enough) but that he is switching his phone off so that he can call me later. Half past 9 at night and still no response. I had just returned from tea at my grandad's to find that he had even taken the only tube of toothpaste and left me without any! The house was in a mess (why do Men think it's ok to not do ANY housework? He's a teacher, he works less hours than I do, lives five minutes away from his place of work whilst I have to commute 40 mile round trip and still thinks that cooking tea is the be all and end of all of the housework, even though he's currently on holiday!). So (still no word) I text him this morning to say I hope for his sake he's been eaten by a black panther and that if I don't hear from him soon I'm going to start auctioning his things on ebay! So... Was I BU?

OP posts:
Original poster
throwhimtothepanther · 27/07/2011 11:41

Aaargh, too much to respond to!

Firstly... @ledkr Sincere apologies, no offence meant.

Yes my DP is the kind of guy who is friends with girls, that doesn't bother me as I have many male friends. I do trust him 100% though I'm not sure he would like me going away camping with two male friends? I do feel that the female's he has gone with are a little bit childish and probably would like to see him get in trouble with me, I have no idea what he see's in them- he is at least five years older than them and from what I've heard one of them is irritating as hell!

I am pissed off regarding the fact that he said he would call, obviously he had some signal, as he text me earlier to say the signal was poor, ultimately I just feel a bit hurt, it's like he's just forgotten about me and is having too much of a good time with his new friends. I'm also really pissed off about the housework thing, this is a long standing issue, we go away next week and I've no doubt it will be down to me to get the house clean and tidy.

To be honest I didn't expect this much response! I certainly didn't expect people to be arguing over it! But as long as it's all in good fun then I don't mind. I really don't however appreciate people being so vicious towards me or anyone else for that matter, isn't this an opportunity to get things off your chest without causing world war 3 with your DP?

Thanks for all the responses people!

OP posts:
BertyBurlington · 27/07/2011 11:44

Why did you let him go in the first place?

lol at that, is she his mother?

ClaireDeLoon · 27/07/2011 11:48

What has he said when you've discussed his lack of effort on the housework side before?

As for the condescending/patronising comment, that would irritate the hell out of me. Does he make comments like that often or generally talk to you in a condescending manner a lot?

As for not being in touch, fair enough if he has no signal he has no signal. Is where they are staying very remote?

CinnabarRed · 27/07/2011 11:48

OP, I live in the middle of nowhere, and reception is lousy no matter what phone network you use. I can often get together enough signal to send a text message, but not enough to get a call through. I also find that the signal strengh comes and goes with no warning whatsoever. I guess what I'm saying is that, having lived with this for years, there's nothing to be read into him being able to send a text but not make a call.

I think you're perfectly entitled to get tough with him over the housework!

There are many threads on MN about that very topic. Well worth a look to see if you can pick up any helpful tactics.

CinnabarRed · 27/07/2011 11:51

Re the condescending/patronising comment, my response would have been that either way he's being an irritating twat.

Nancy66 · 27/07/2011 11:53

What's he meant to be ringing you for though?

You know where he is , you know he's with, you (presumably) know when he's back...

CaptainNancy · 27/07/2011 11:53

I am confused as to why you have posted, and why you are with your DP. DO you love each other?

You have no children, don't know how to use paragraphs, cannot be bothered with grammar- not sure why are you on MN exactly.

We have standards here- we don't use text speak, we use sentences, paragraphs, and grammar, and the boards are the better for it.

AIBU is a great stinking boil on the rear-end of MN IMHO.

MoreBeta · 27/07/2011 11:55

No chance he could have taken the two weeks off to get a load of jobs done at home then go off camping with you then?

Call me old fashioned but if you are in a commited relationship you dont go off on holiday with someone else.

tethersend · 27/07/2011 11:58

I think bruxeur probably just needs some love.

Want to hug it out, bruxeur? Where's all that vitriol coming from, eh? Come on. That's it.

bruxeur · 27/07/2011 12:00

Is not vitriol! Is tough love.

Nefret · 27/07/2011 12:00

I wouldn't have let him go in the first place! and I would be really annoyed if he had gone and then hadn't been in touch. YANBU.

bruxeur - you are very rude Shock

RunningDay · 27/07/2011 12:08

Who said one of them was irritating as hell? Was it your DP? That'll be the one he's shagging then.

bruxeur · 27/07/2011 12:08

If you wouldn't have let him go in the first place then you are very controlling Shock

MooMooFarm · 27/07/2011 12:10

I think they problem isn't whether OP let him go or not, more that he wanted to go at all. And yes I would be a bit [hm] about the 'irritating as hell' comment. Why go then? Does make him sound like he's covering his back...

Mumwithadragontattoo · 27/07/2011 12:11

OP - I honestly wouldn't worry too much about lack of contact. We also live in area where signal is just strong enough to send a text but not always make a call.

hifi · 27/07/2011 12:12

fucking hell whats up bruxeurs arse?

capricorn76 · 27/07/2011 12:14

I wish the twats who only enter threads to bang on about grammar would do one. You're making yourselves look silly and probably have no offline mates.

JamieAgain · 27/07/2011 12:19

Am stunned that it's "text" and not "texted". I have wasted literally months of teeth-gritting when my mum says "text".Really don't know WHAT to think now. Most discombobulating.

JamieAgain · 27/07/2011 12:20

sorry about the capitals

JamieAgain · 27/07/2011 12:20

I'd be annoyed with the DP as well. About the whole thing.

bruxeur · 27/07/2011 12:23

capricorn76 - no thoughts about OP's sexism entering your pretty little head? Prefer to think about something a little less challenging? Probably sensible.

LineRunner · 27/07/2011 12:24

OP, you didn't upset Ledkr, it was someone else.

LadyFlumpalot · 27/07/2011 12:25

JamieAgain!!! You are my new favourite person for use of the word "discombobulating". I love that word!

LineRunner · 27/07/2011 12:25

Quick, more love for Brux, it's wearing off!

JamieAgain · 27/07/2011 12:25

now now bruxeur - that tone is a little condescending (patronising?)