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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

My five year old was abandoned at an organised party

368 replies

KattyB · 24/07/2011 22:02

My husband took our five year old boy to a birthday party for two of his school friends in the local sports hall yesterday and when he came back to collect him, (five minutes late) all of his friends and their parents had left. There was another party going on afterwards, but my child was, well, abandoned. Not only that, but he actually managed to get outside the hall and was ?waiting for daddy? in the car park.

To say that I am angry is a little bit of an understatement and what could have happened doesn?t bear thinking about.

Don?t know the mums at all well and don?t have their phone numbers ?. Should I 'throw the book' at the venue???? What would you do?

OP posts:
JamieAgain · 25/07/2011 19:14

yousank - touche Grin

WhoseGotMyEyebrows · 25/07/2011 19:30

The OP's husband showed shocking disregard for his own son and should be ashamed. I can't see that anyone else is at fault.

Then you're an idiot!

pigletmania · 25/07/2011 19:34

The OP's husband showed shocking disregard for his own son and should be ashamed. I can't see that anyone else is at fault.

What the hell, by being FIVE mins late!!!!! What if he had been in an accident, or had been taken ill or had to rush off to an emergency situation and had no access to a phone. Even if he was 5 hours late, the party hosts should ensure that the child is safe until he is handed over to his parents. Or if you have a party and cannot do that, ask parents to stay or have a much smaller party that you can ensure all children's safety

ChristinedePizan · 25/07/2011 19:34

Jamie - I was agreeing with you and bibbity and hocus. This isn't real. BUT if it were:

  1. The parents are at fault for not having a contact number for the party hosts
  2. The party hosts are at fault for leaving a 5 year old.

I don't think there's anything wrong with leaving a 5 year old at a party. But if you can't contact the people organising the party if you're running late/your car breaks down, that's really very stupid.

Which is why I think this is made up. I don't know any parent who doesn't have any way of contacting someone who has responsibility for their child.

bibbitybobbityhat · 25/07/2011 19:36

Haven't read entire thread, but has anyone asked why op didn't have a contact number for the host parents from the invite? Presumably they had to rsvp.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/07/2011 19:37

If I've spent all day arguing the toss about something that isn't real I'm going to be very pissed off!

pigletmania · 25/07/2011 19:38

As a host I would only have about 10-15 kids for a party (half the class), I would rope in friends to help, so that I have an adequate adult/child ratio. And would try my damnest to ensure the child's safety until the child is handed over to their parents. I would have a list of the childrens' names, if parent is leaving them there (write down their contact details, and who will come to collect them), would not leave the premis until ALL children are matched to their parents or caregivers.

bibbitybobbityhat · 25/07/2011 19:38

And that's why trolling is so annoying!

ChristinedePizan · 25/07/2011 19:39

Yes I did bibbity but she ignored the question. Funny, that ...

pigletmania · 25/07/2011 19:40

I always keep the invite, which normally has the party hosts contact number on, and put it in my bag before the party.

ChristinedePizan · 25/07/2011 19:40

Although my DS does keep taking his party invitation off the fridge and parading around with it so I suppose you might lose it. But of course I have the number in my phone

Maryz · 25/07/2011 19:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VelveteenRabbit · 25/07/2011 19:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

bibbitybobbityhat · 25/07/2011 19:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet.

thebird · 25/07/2011 19:59

What were you thinking OP leaving a five year old with parents you don't know and without contact details?! I mean you must have experienced these types of parties before and realise how busy and chaotic things can get. Even with the best intentions the hosts would find it hard to supervise all kids of this age - who would supervise trips to the loo, or keep them from wandering off? Of course they should make sure children are safe but the ultimate responsibility is always yours and I wouldn't be happy leaving my DC at this party unless I knew i someone there to watch out for them.

HowlingBitch · 25/07/2011 20:08

This thread takes the cake. Honestly.

Who gives a fig about the ifs, buts, whys, wheres and fuddy whats of the situation, There was 5 year old child left in a car park alone. If I send my son to a party you are hosting and you say it is fine to for me to leave it is your job as a responsible adult to make sure my son is 100% safe from the moment I leave him in you care right up until the moment he is back in mine.

I don't care if you have 500 children at the party, You made the decision to invite that many therefore you should be completely sure you are able to supervise every single one like they were your own otherwise invite less children. It's that friggin simple! I am so shocked at the "Oh but I have so much to do! All the party bags" attitudes here! Some of you should really rethink having any more big parties.

LineRunner · 25/07/2011 20:13

I'm getting tired of MN hosting 'flawed' OPs and wasting our time.

flipflapdoodle · 25/07/2011 20:17

What ever happened, it is wrong that a 5yr old child was left in a car park. I have been startled recently by the attitude that parents SHOULD leave. I have a 3yr, old and parties are very mixed in terms of who expects parents to stay and who WANTS them to leave. At our eldest's (3) party most parents stayed.. but some left. I was grateful that this party was at home and so very contained (no one could escape unless they were over 5f3). I would have been a nervous wreck with similar numbers and unfamiliar security.

I feel that we cater for parents with drinks/wine, nibbles etc and 3 is quite young to be left, but clearly other people feel differently....

giveitago · 25/07/2011 20:27

With bibbity - we had a party recently (for 5 year old) and a few parents left their kids - that's fine - they made it abundanty clear they were clearing off and I made it abundanty clear they needed to pick up at x time and I got their mobile numbers from them. I then took extra care to watch over their kids (ie are they OK - do they need the loo ect). Those kids were invited and therefore in my care - no difference that it was at a busy play centre or my own home.

NonnoMum · 25/07/2011 20:29

Katty - please phone the host(s) and say, apologies for OH being a couple of minutes late. Thank you for the party. I was surprised that DS was wondering in the car park with everyone known to him gone home. Should I contact the venue and ask them about their policy on this?"

And then see what they (the hosts) say.

scottishmummy · 25/07/2011 20:30

this isn't about so called perfect parents
but leaving child with vague acquaintances,not getting a contact number, and a v loose notion of what party could entails is slack

ChristinedePizan · 25/07/2011 20:30

VelveteenRabbit - you know you're a pseudonym for that Mumsnet Sucks nutter don't you? I thought you should know Wink

I don't think it's true for the reasons I said below/above. I really don't know anyone who would leave a 5 year old with someone without having a contact number for them. It seems mightily cavalier.

MsAnnThroppy · 25/07/2011 20:33

As I said in my post earlier, unbelievable. And oddly similar to a thread a few months back, child left all alone by irresponsible adult, child gets outside, parent taking no blame for own failure to turn up on time or communicate lateness to adult with care for child. Causes a big row on here, OP never returns. Ultimately a case of six of one, half a dozen of the other.

GwendolineMaryLacey · 25/07/2011 20:34

It's nothing to do with perfect parenting, unless assuming that people taking charge of your children will actually look after them comes under perfect parenting.

I'd have thought that was the most basic requirement personally. Not much point in a fabulous party if you haven't got the first clue what the children in your care are up to.

scottishmummy · 25/07/2011 20:35

all this is it isnt troll,oh 1st time post is bit inane. and frankly so what?

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