Private school or bigger house?

[joric]

Less AIBU more WWYD....

Will keep it short...

60/70k will put DD through private school and we would stay in our modest house
or
we could increase mortgage by same amount and buy a similar standard of house in better area with v good state school nearby.

WWYD?

ah x post

I agree with wordfactory. The reason we opted to pay was because we saw huge differences between the two. I certainly wouldn't pay for the same of it or a nominal difference. Although there was certainly only a nominal difference in terms of results at age 11 as our catching primary was top 5 in the country for sats results.

As for education primarily being about results; I am quite certain thAt had we stayed living in that catchment and sent them state then they would have come out with pretty similar if not identical alevel results. But they wouldn't have had the same experience and that was all I was interested in.

If it were me I would write a list of all the things I loved about the independent school (exam score would be low on that list for me).

Then I would ask which of those things I could get at the good state school, or by other means...being realistic. I often hear on MN that you can top up but do DC really want toi gi to tutors every flippin' night after school?

Look long and hard at what is left. Are those things valuable to you?

If so then go private. If you're not that bothered, then go to the good state and invest your money in the house.

I went to private school for the first 5 years of my education, was hoping it had burnt to the ground by now but alas, still there.

I left school with good knowledge but poor grades (very bored) but by joining the TA, I am teaching in colleges with loads of qualifications.

If you support your children and maybe supplement the education (easy to do with the Internet), they'll be fine without PS.

My thoughts about private are just compounded by the 'Surrey thread'

It depends on the child, your priorities and other things you can do with the cash. Throwing a lot of money at an education doesn't make it superior

1k a month would buy an awful lot of riding/karting/tennis/snooker lessons if you went for the comp...

Think about whether you want your child educated in a bubble of privilege, divorced from 97% of the population.

If the answer is yes, and that is valuable to you, go private. If you're not that bothered, go state and live in a nice house.

My priorities... I think every parent wants to give their child the best on offer...and the best they can afford...I went to a state grammar sch.. I loved it! I just want DD to love school and not see it as a waste of time.

I would go with moving to a better area and good state school.

mal what on earth makes you think all independently schooled children are divorced from the rest of the world?

Don't you suppose they have family? Friends? Neighbours? Don't you suppose they go to footie clubs, scouts and gymnastics?

We send them to private school not Hogworts...

Then why can't they go to school with those children? If school's not that big of a deal and only a tiny proportion of the day, why can't they go where there might be some working class children - as opposed, obviously, to the token three or four who might have scholarships.

:o word!
Faire- we would need to move next year or year after (at latest) for state Sch.
Thanks everyone, back a bit later... Hair wash time! :)

Btw moving to a nicer area is a bonus in itself!

greycircles - I can assure you that children absolutely do care about the old rustbucket in private schools. Just like they do in state schools.

I spent the first half my school years (the 1990s, so not that long ago) in a state school and the second half in a private school. Absolutely hated the private school, everyone there seemed up themselves and identical to one another with no clue that there were other types of people in the world. My state school was awful in terms of results, but gave me a way more varied and interesting experience of life and made me a nicer person than I might have been had I been in PS the whole time (I think). Neither had any effect on my own results, which were good at both schools. BUT it depends on the child and where you think they will do best.

I would advise you to go for the good state school. You need to think about how your child would fit in with other pupils in the private school.

The wealthier pupils at one of the local private schools near me call the not so wealthy or assisted place pupils 'Povs' !

Your child will thrive in a good state school.

But malcolm, many catchments have the same affect. Where we lived in Cheshire you couldn't buy anything in aforementioned schools catchment for less than 500k. I wod say that's pretty detached from a large section of society, wouldn't you? So moving can have a very similar affect.

Well I can only speak for myself (unlike so many on here who appear to be claivoyant and able to tell what every fee paying parent has on their mind).

I didn't chose independent school to keep my children away from working class peoiple. If that were the case I would have had to have them adopted at birth, for fear that DH and I might have a negative impact on them.

And they certianly wouldn't have been allowed to meet our entire exytended families.

I chose their schools for a plethora of reasons. The vast majority of which might not seem important to others. But they did to me.

sorry that last post was to mal

Yes, catchments can also be socially divisive - but not as much so as independent schools. I defy anyone to tell me of a state school where everyone can afford £12k a year minimum.....

And I'd rather my children went to the leafiest comp than a private school, even so. Which is why I should probably stay off threads like this.

But this is what people don't seem to get, or credit - state school is what I want for my kids - I think it's the right thing, for them, for society, for everyone.

I'd go to a good state school myself - and go for enriching life with otehr opportunities in the future when the mortgage seems relatively less. As someone posted earlier 1k a month would buy a LOT of enrichment activiites/holidays!

Never said they did, zzz!

Education, every time. Whether that is by moving to an area with better state schools or going private I would decide based on exam results, atmosphere, facilities, extra-curricular stuff, university take-up, and talking to the pupils, not based on any class notions of private versus state. Which is the best school for your DC? Period. Then do everything you can to get them there. I certainly wouldn't pay for a sub-performing private school if there was the option to go to a better state.

Equally, I was one of the noticeably less well off pupils at a private school. My parents pushed themselves financially to put me through it. It was entirely the right decision, I am eternally grateful to them for making it given how far out of their comfort zone it was, and I suspect in a few years time I'll be doing exactly the same.