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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Private school or bigger house?

301 replies

joric · 21/07/2011 18:05

Less AIBU more WWYD....

Will keep it short...

60/70k will put DD through private school and we would stay in our modest house
or
we could increase mortgage by same amount and buy a similar standard of house in better area with v good state school nearby.

WWYD?

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:09

Spud- it's not all about academic achievements though is it? It's about sending DC to a school with good ethos/ opportunities . A school may well benefit from a more diverse intake but if the management of a school is flawed it doesn't make a difference who goes there.

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 21/07/2011 20:11

To be honest I think there is a lot of undeserved hype around private schooling.

I attended both state and private education and would send my child to a state school. I would subsidise their learning experience with after school activities and possibly a tutor (though I won't need one as my DH works in education luckily).

Unless you are sending your child to the absolute top private school, because of the lack of regulation over who a private school can hire to teach a child, the teaching can be equal to or possibly even worse than a local state school.

One of the deciding factors for me over what kind of school my child would attend is the fact that I have seen a couple of people I know personally get jobs at expensive London private schools. And knowing what idiots they are personally, and their qualifications and attitude to education as I attended uni with them, would never want them teaching my children Shock

The only redeeming factor for me is the extra curricular activities a private school can offer. But then If I can afford to pay such an excessive amount of money to a school year round, surely I can simply source these extra curricular activities myself.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:11

Spud - 'Most bright children will do well in good state school.'
and a not so good one???

OP posts:
LDNmummy · 21/07/2011 20:12

Besides, if your child is naturally bright, you should have no fear that they will not thrive in a decent state school.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:13

LD - thanks :) food for thought!

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:14

The key is 'good' or 'decent' state school. :)

OP posts:
Fairenuff · 21/07/2011 20:14

Joric I wouldn't sell the house and move into rented, just in case the market takes an upturn and you can't afford to get back into buying. (That did happen to a friend of mine).

We did rent our house out instead of selling it and remortgaged to get a decent deposit for the second house. 5 years later, our old house is still being rented (so someone else paying the mortgage for us) and we are very happy in our new house.

So that would be option 6

kayah · 21/07/2011 20:15

I would pay my mortgage asap

jgbmum · 21/07/2011 20:15

OP - earlier on in the thread a poster suggested you make a list and compare the schools. This is such a good idea. That way you can see very clearly what you are gaining by each option, and can decide whether the advantages at one, could be offset in other ways.
Also do check the supposed advantages. For example, my DSs are at a "good" state school with average class sizes of 25. However. as they are put in ability groups for many lessons, the group size goes up to 30 for the top sets, but reduces to 15 for the lower sets.

At A2 it reduces to 12-15 for all subjects.

DS spent a day at a well regarded local independent school (for Oxbridge assessment) and whilst the buildings were beautiful to look at, he complained that they were gloomy and cold inside, with very shabby artwork and posters on the walls. As compared to the not-the-most-attractive, but airy and well maintained 1970s buildings at his school that always have incredible art and designs on the walls and in displays around the buildings.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:17

Love extra options!... Keep them coming!
Although, I think I would be stressed out of my little mind renting out!! I'm a 'play it safe' kind of person!! :o

OP posts:
SpottyFrock · 21/07/2011 20:19

I'm from the sink estate too! To be frightened of 'the poor' would mean never seeing family.

If we had sent our children to the local state school the kids they would have mixed with would be in exactly the same socio-economic circumstances as them. The only difference was that at the indie, they were not sat in a class of entirely White, Christian families which was quite a bonus IMO.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:20

Jgbmum.. This is my job for Sept open days... I agree with list and I'm going to go again and take notes!! :o

OP posts:
Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:22

Spotty- from what others have said, private schools are more diverse than some state schools - agreed!

OP posts:
SpottyFrock · 21/07/2011 20:24

Certainly in east Cheshire! Wink

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:27

Sorry, it is cobblers that private schools are more diverse than state schools - yes, a chinese pound is the same as an english one, so you might get some other nationalities, but that's not what diversity means, is it? Yeah you've got some brown faces - but they're all rich.

spudulika · 21/07/2011 20:29

"Spud - 'Most bright children will do well in good state school.'
and a not so good one???"

Depends what you judge as 'not good'. If you go on exam results alone then you're being unreasonable. There are some fantastic schools around whose results look very mediocre because they don't take pupils from across the ability range, but from predominantly deprived backgrounds.

"It's about sending DC to a school with good ethos/ opportunities . A school may well benefit from a more diverse intake but if the management of a school is flawed"

What do you mean by 'opportunities'? I agree that if a school is poorly managed it may not provide a good educational experience for a child. But then schools with disproportionate numbers of disadvantaged children are especially difficult places to work and to manage (because staff are under increased stress).

And of course the majority of schools will always have disproportionate numbers of underachieving kids as long as the bright children of middle-class, professional, and ambitious families are 'creamed off' into private schools, selective state schools (usually after years of expensive tutoring and/or a stint in a private preparatory school) or all clustered together into schools which are socially selective by dint of being in areas that ordinary people can't afford to live in.

There's a nuclear arms race going on in selective education now - and it's a disaster for the majority of children.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:29

Malcolm - than some state schools.

OP posts:
prudaloo · 21/07/2011 20:30

Private every time! Your child only has one go at it and you want to do the best for them.
The best private secondaries in this area charge around £3500 a term, so £52500 for the five years, some left over for sixth form.
The focus will be on their education in the classroom, with fewer distractions. There are lots of activities out of school which are free or cost little- orchestras, sports clubs etc, so they will not be out of touch with children from other schools at all.

Original poster
joric · 21/07/2011 20:30

Malcon- not all rich, not moi!

OP posts:
SpottyFrock · 21/07/2011 20:30

I have to declare that I no longer live there though and when we moved to Sussex last year we actually opted for the local state primary over the local independent prep simply because the state school had a great vibe and the indie was dull and uninspiring. They also had 2 teachers without a teaching qualification which they don't need in the ind sector. It highlighted to me the vast range in provision and how you really need to look at what's available to you. We will pay again at 11 as the comp isn't great and the independent senior school looks very good.

Fairenuff · 21/07/2011 20:32

joric if you don't want to rent out your house, you could pay an agent to handle it for you, but really it's very easy. I doubt we will ever return to our old house and don't think of it as 'ours' anymore. I would not recommend it if you are particularly emotionally attached as tenants do tend to redecorate and change things a little but I'm fine with that.

Option 7 would be to rent your current house out for 2 years. Move to catchment area and rent there for 2 years. Then move back to your current house. The only thing that will have changed in 2 years time is that your DD has got into the good state school.

If she is not happy there or not doing well, you will still have the money and the option to think about moving her into private. However, if she is happy and doing well you can keep your money and spend some of it on lovely family holidays together, which are also very enriching imo.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:32

You have 70K to spare. I think that's rich.

No private school is more diverse than a state school. Even though some state schools are more diverse than others. There are no poor children in private school, except in very rare cases where they're poor but very clever.

SpottyFrock · 21/07/2011 20:33

But malcolm, my point is that some state catchments are also very rich. It is absolutely not true that state catchments are all diverse. Certainly not in places like Surrey and Cheshire!

spudulika · 21/07/2011 20:35

"Yeah you've got some brown faces - but they're all rich"

Don't forget the kids with bursaries! My nephew has got a very good bursary for a private schools. He got that by being super smart (plus a few ££££££ spent on tutoring in years 4, 5 and 6) and by my SIL lying about her income (she's got 3 other children and is financially flying by the seat of her pants).

It's hilarious. Having been at this private school for 4 years he's now like a different child: the accent, the enthusiasm for rugby, cricket and latin...... It wouldn't take a second to work out which one of the siblings has been educated in a socially 'superior' setting.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 21/07/2011 20:35

Yes, they may very well be. I'd still be surprised if you could prove every single parent there had 70k to spare, and frankly if they did but didn't spend it on private school, I'd like them even more.