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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be peeved at the school? Can teachers explain it to me?

134 replies

CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 12:53

Wrote a letter to the HT a few days ago, asking if the boys (8 and 9) could have Friday afternoon off for a family outing.

It's the last day of term, they'll only be watching DVD's or something equally end-of-term-ish and all we're asking for is 3 hours off.

HT said no.

Which is fine, but I know for sure that at least 3 children out of DS1's class have had the whole of the last week off to go on holiday!

So what's the score with authorised absences? How is it worked out? Because I'm buggered if I can understand why some children are authorised for days on end, while some are refused three hours Hmm

OP posts:
redskyatnight · 21/07/2011 12:56

Schools have different policies. Some allow no holiday, some allow 5 days, some 10. It's always at HT's discretion.

I expect the children going on holiday are unauthorised or they've been able to prove a particular need to go on holiday at this time or their children have better attendance records than yours.

CogitoErgoSometimes · 21/07/2011 12:57

Maybe the other families have made a more persuasive case. If the holidays have been booked in advance at great expense, for example, it could be more compelling than a 'family outing'. I'm pretty sure, however, that the families involved will have got a grudging 'yes' accompanied by a lengthy explanation why it's a bad idea to take children out of school in term time.

altinkum · 21/07/2011 12:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soverylucky · 21/07/2011 12:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SiamoFottuti · 21/07/2011 13:20

I can't belive you asked permission from the school to do something with your own children! I'd be telling, not asking.

uggmum · 21/07/2011 13:27

You will probably find that the other families also had their requests declined but chose to remove them anyway.
All schools in my local authority are not allowed to authorise any days off for holidays. Any request is automatically declined. If you then take the child out of school you get sent a letter advising you of the impact on their education etc. But no other action is taken.

cornflakegirl · 21/07/2011 13:34

There was a thread on here where in similar circumstances, the mother said that, since the children would all be doing vital educational activities, and she had the time off anyway, she would be happy to go and help in school on the last afternoon. The head subsequently granted her request.

Not sure I'd advocate blackmail, but it is an option.

LaWeasel · 21/07/2011 13:34

Depends really.

I know sometimes they will say yes to children leaving early if off to visit dying relatives abroad etc.

Most of them will always say no, and if kids are gone they have not been given permission.

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 13:39

I don't have children yet (one on the way) but I really find this concept of having to "ask" the school permission to do x, y and z with ones own children incredible. I appreciate there are good reasons for it and it is meant to protect children from parents who just don't bother to make sure they attend etc but I really find it hard to swallow. I expect I may ask out of politness but I certainly won't be giving a lot of heed to the answer.

squeakytoy · 21/07/2011 13:40

I can't belive you asked permission from the school to do something with your own children! I'd be telling, not asking

Hmm
Henwelly · 21/07/2011 13:41

Go in and tell him/her that its some kind of special family outing, distant relatives back for the day etc - lay it on a bit thick!!

JWIM · 21/07/2011 13:43

Catgirl1976 - think you will find that the statutory duty to ensure your child is at school unless HE or sick is yours. Failure to meet this duty is an offence.

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 13:44

Should've gone sick OP Wink

DogsBestFriend · 21/07/2011 13:44

"I can't belive you asked permission from the school to do something with your own children! I'd be telling, not asking."

Agreed. And I have told rather than asked.

cornflakegirl, I love your example of another mother's clever thinking, that made me chuckle.

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 13:45

PMSL at 'telling not asking'

knittedbreast · 21/07/2011 13:46

i would suggest your sons come down with a cold on that day

biddysmama · 21/07/2011 13:47

i asked the school secretary if there would be chance of ds getting a friday afternoon off as we were going to ireland to see my dad, she said just phone in sick that day instead Grin

DogsBestFriend · 21/07/2011 13:48

Wink Knitted - I believe that there's a vomiting bug going around at the moment. I do so hope that the OP's son doesn't get it, it would be such a shame if he missed the vitally important last day of term.

:o

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 13:49

Really? Is that the same at all schools? I just can't imagine having to ask someone else for permission to do something with my own child

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 13:49

Yeah and even more of a shame if she was stopped by a truant officer....

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 13:51

catgirl it's the UK law that you have to send your children to school

You can't just take a few hours/days/weeks of here and there at your own leisure and expect the school to be ok with that.

purplepidjincantatem · 21/07/2011 13:52

Book a dr/dentist appointment Wink

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 13:55

Well - it seems like there are lots of ways around it judging by this thread :) I can understand the reasons, but if I wanted to take my child somewhere, particulalry if it will be more educational than whatever they would be doing in school that day I would find it very hard to swallow to be expected to "ask permisison".

TheRealTillyMinto · 21/07/2011 13:56

my DP who is a headteacher says:

(1) it counts in the schools attendance figures which is one of the ways schools are assessed
(2) it makes teaching harder - teachers are there to teach a class of 30 kids not work around parents plans
(3) it is not a good example for the kids

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 13:57

Well you'll have to suck it up catgirl We're lucky education is free Grin

As for fake appointments/illness etc, I don't think teaching our kids to lie is a good idea...considering if they lie to us, they're likely to be punished for it.

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