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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peeved at the school? Can teachers explain it to me?

134 replies

CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 12:53

Wrote a letter to the HT a few days ago, asking if the boys (8 and 9) could have Friday afternoon off for a family outing.

It's the last day of term, they'll only be watching DVD's or something equally end-of-term-ish and all we're asking for is 3 hours off.

HT said no.

Which is fine, but I know for sure that at least 3 children out of DS1's class have had the whole of the last week off to go on holiday!

So what's the score with authorised absences? How is it worked out? Because I'm buggered if I can understand why some children are authorised for days on end, while some are refused three hours Hmm

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 13:57

Is this the same for private schools?

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 13:57

catgirl it's the UK law that you have to send your children to school

It's the law to provide an education for a child, not to send them to school.

BUt once you have decided on school you need to go along with their stupid rules.

DogsBestFriend · 21/07/2011 13:59

Worral - it is NOT UK law that you have to send your children to school.

It is UK law that your child must be provided with a full time education appropriate to his age, aptitude and ability, at school or otherwise.

:o

Maybe, just maybe, we parents wouldn't get so arsey with this particular dominating, dictating interference legislation on authorised/unauthorised absence if schools didn't also act as parent - and often overrule the parent - in so many other ways. Taking into consideration this added to the food policing within schools, the lack of any entirely secular schools within the state system, certain uniform policies and so on, is it any wonder that parents are demanding autonomy and starting to challenge schools?

Blu · 21/07/2011 14:00

The ones off all week will be absent on an unauthorised absence. Which you could do, too. They just mark it down as unauthorised absence. Nothing will happen unless it reaches a certain level (more than 10 days over the year, usually)

Schools are tighly bound over what they can actually authorise.

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:01

APPLAUDS DBF

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 14:01

Well yes, you can split hairs any way you want to but if you've got your child enroled in a school...you have to bloody well send them Grin

Seriously though, none of us here knows whether the OP's child has a poor attendance record or what the Head's reasons were.

Also, with a 7 week holiday looming, is there really no other day the OP could choose?

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 14:02

Also applauds DBF and thinks I clearly have no idea of all the fun and games ahead of me! [hmm}

DogsBestFriend · 21/07/2011 14:03
Blush

Bloody hell! I'm popular for once! :o

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 14:05

Is this just within the state system or does the stupid, interfering, law apply to private schools as well?

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 14:06

And with regards to the lunch issues...please don't even start me on the shit some poor kids bring to school.

The worst two in my memory were a cold Happy Meal brought in by one little girl...and half a packet of jaffa cakes (nothing else) brought in by another Sad

Having said that though, some schools really do take it too far by actually taking the food off the kids...instead of smacking the parents round the head with a loaf of wholemeal.

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:06

Well you are right DBF, ds's last school sent parents a letter with suggested bedtimes - the only possible response to that is a rather snippy fuck off!

PrincessScrumpy · 21/07/2011 14:06

Most schools have a minimum time for these requests - my school is 3 weeks. Also, is usually only "exceptional" circumstances so a day trip when you have 6 weeks holiday to do that in would not count, certainly not at my school.

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 14:07

catgirl all schools have their own attendance policies so you would have to look at them individually.

yummumto3girls · 21/07/2011 14:08

The authorising of leave at schools winds the hell out of me. We requested leave to visit father in law 200 miles away because he was going into hospital for a serious op and wanted the girls to see him before just in case, it got refused. We went in and questioned it and because the form /policy says requests to visit relatives will not be accepted it was refused. We simply changed the reason on the form to something more acceptable to the head so he could cover his back and it was approved. So the moral of the story....get your wording right on the form in the first place ( or go sick)!

Original poster
CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 14:09

They've both got 99% attendance. I am "Mean Mummy" and unless they've got D and V, I tend to take a "If you're that ill they'll send you home" approach.

I don't like the idea of saying they're ill when they're not, on the offchance that they get asked about it - I don't like asking them to lie.

Cheers everyone! It's not the end of the world - we can still do the outing, it just means we'll probably hit more traffic. I just thought it seemed a bit unfair, given that DS1 is all "Well, J isn't at school this week because they've gone to Greece, and A isn't either because they've gone to Tenerife, and neither is G because they've gone to Butlins" etc etc.... just seems a bit mean to say no for the sake of 3 measly hours, during which they'll be doing the best part of bugger all anyway Hmm

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 14:09

Cold Happy Meal ?!?!? Suggested bedtimes?!?!?

WTF Have I let myself in for :(

Its starting to make home schooling look attractive :(

PrincessScrumpy · 21/07/2011 14:10

My experience of private school (from a friend who has a son at one and is 14) is that it is even hard to take kids out during term time and the parents get overruled even more than state school.

My friend had her ds's hair cut and when he returned to school the head took him for another cut as he felt it was too messy (his hair is curly and now he's ended up with an army crop)!

Fuzzywuzzywozabear · 21/07/2011 14:11

bearing in mind my 8 and 10 year old have been told to take in games tomorrow (and I remember doing the same as a kid) it seems a bit churlish of the HT to say no - yanbu OP

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:12

Just go sick Clammy as someone else said, it's all in the wording. Enjoy your day out :)

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 14:13

God princess that has got to gall when they are chucking a fortune at the school in the first place. They actually got the DS a hair cut? wow Shock

knittedbreast · 21/07/2011 14:14

well dogs..., it would be quite unfortunate to feel a little under the weather the day prior to suggested day off. :)

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:17

At my ds's bog standard school we have letters home telling us that anything out of the ordinary ( below collar) or dyed for the girls and the child will be removed and taught outside the class room away from their peers until the child has a haircut!!

My ds has a surfer style because it is really wavy and doesn't do anything else but that style - it's nothing to do with being rebellious. I am just waiting to get called into the schools - they won't know what's hit them!

yummumto3girls · 21/07/2011 14:21

I agree that when they are not doing anything anyway it's very annoying. My DD is yr 5 and working hard towards her 11+. She is in a mixed yr 5/6 class and all the yr 6 left 2 weeks ago so there have only been 5 left in the class. She has spent 2 weeks entertaining the reception children! I have been really annoyed especially when she is coming home and working hard on her 11+, I (and she) would have preferred to stay home and do her work so she would have at least had her evenings free.

loiner45 · 21/07/2011 14:22

worraliberty actually it is not the law that you have to send your children to school! it is the law that you have to ensure your children are educated, either in school "or otherwise" - hence the name of the UK organisation supporting home education = "Education Otherwise"

nojustificationneeded · 21/07/2011 14:28

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

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