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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peeved at the school? Can teachers explain it to me?

134 replies

CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 12:53

Wrote a letter to the HT a few days ago, asking if the boys (8 and 9) could have Friday afternoon off for a family outing.

It's the last day of term, they'll only be watching DVD's or something equally end-of-term-ish and all we're asking for is 3 hours off.

HT said no.

Which is fine, but I know for sure that at least 3 children out of DS1's class have had the whole of the last week off to go on holiday!

So what's the score with authorised absences? How is it worked out? Because I'm buggered if I can understand why some children are authorised for days on end, while some are refused three hours Hmm

OP posts:
loiner45 · 21/07/2011 14:29

catgirl my kids are in private school and I take them out when I like - I've never ever had it questioned, but I chose this school because its ethos is to give kids a rounded education - it's non-selective with lots of sport, drama, music, school trips - so they miss lessons all the time for things like that and just have to make up the work. Other private schools might be more precious!

Original poster
CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 14:29

Valiumredhead I can't say they're sick now though, can I?? They'll know I'm lying!!

[scared of getting told off by Head Teacher emoticon]

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:31

Of course you can, how on earth are they to know your kids aren't sick? They don't actually send anyone round to check, you know that right? Grin

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 14:31

Wow. This parenting thing is really starting to look more complex than I had imagined :)

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:31

They won;t with your attendance record anyway!

Original poster
CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 14:32

Hmm..... "otherwise educated"..... well since we're going to the races (DC very excited and are taking their pocket money - I think they've got unrealistic expectations of making a fortune) maybe I can make the point that working out odds will be ever so beneficial to their numeracy skills Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 14:33

LOL I know they don't actually check - but won't it look a bit dodgy now I've asked, and been told no?

OP posts:
nojustificationneeded · 21/07/2011 14:35

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catgirl1976 · 21/07/2011 14:36

Grin I think the maths skills they will earn are invaluable - not to mention learning about luck, backing the right horse and not losing your shirt!

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:36

They'll have forgotten all about it by September anyway!

Original poster
CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 14:42

Yeah, bugger it, I might just risk it. If we get stuck in traffic they're going to moan like hell, we'll all arrive in a bad mood and I don't want to risk missing the Scissor Sisters Grin

OP posts:
valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 14:44

Hooray! Grin

nojustificationneeded · 21/07/2011 14:51

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealTillyMinto · 21/07/2011 14:53

My DP has just turned around a failing London school.... the school have to look at the big picture. it is not that they dont care about your individiual wishes, it is just they have a lot of things to take into account.

at his school many of the kids come from war zones so have serious family problems (like are they alive?). they have many child protection issues (abuse, underfed, munchhausen syndrome).

at his school, any unnecessary absense is bad because until they got their latest excellent results, the school could be closed.

i think alot of what they do is like speed limits, if all parents were generally sensible and considerate, the school would need far fewer rules. but loads of parents are not sensible or considerate.

my DP and his colleagues are all really hardworking and dedicated (he works 7:30 until 6:00 Monday to Friday and a few hours at the weekend).

its a bit saddening to hear so many parents on MN view of school is so poor.

exoticfruits · 21/07/2011 14:57

Those on holiday will most likely be unauthorised.

altinkum · 21/07/2011 15:03

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emptyshell · 21/07/2011 15:12

Just to clear one thing up - the class teacher (referred to on the first page) is not "being an arse" the arseness comes from further up.

To be honest, with class teacher hat on - the only thing that annoys me if kids are off at the end of term is if I don't know about it in advance to send all their stuff home with them. Anything else comes from the head and the men in suits at the LEA - I'd just always appreciate knowing that Johnny's last day is Tuesday so I can send the 16 foot tall junk model of a robot that's been scaring me witless walking around the classroom in the dark (I scared a colleague shitless one year with Egyptian death masks that apparently looked just like cybermen in the windows from the carpark in the dark) can be sent home for your tender appreciation/quick trip to the recycling bin/cursing the teacher who sent it home for you to cherish session.

People hating and resenting schools - I just let it wash over me these days - continue to bicker and bash among yourselves.

Salmotrutta · 21/07/2011 15:12

Whilst the last day of school is pretty much board games and end-of-term service/prizegiving it's amazing how many parents take their kids out earlier than that (Secondary I'm talking about). I normally have kids working up to the bitter end as most Secondary teachers do and having pupils missing from several lessons for holidays is a total pain.
They have usually missed loads of work and often assessments too. Which means having to catch up with any formal assessment when they get back. Which involves lunchtimes. Which they moan about. You can't win.

altinkum · 21/07/2011 15:16

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Salmotrutta · 21/07/2011 15:19

I agree about the hating and resenting schools bit empty - and the "I wont be asking, I'll be telling". Strange attitude. Why don't you Home Educate instead?

TheRealTillyMinto · 21/07/2011 15:19

but it is not just one parent taking their DC out for 3 hours.

there are numerous unauthorised absences which do undermine the importance of school and practically affect schooling which is going to affect the education of all.

i dont see why if the school has a policy, parents cannot just go with it. they put the policy in place to help with the education of the children in the schools - including their child.

or do you think they make the rules up for some other reason than to help with education?

altinkum · 21/07/2011 15:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealTillyMinto · 21/07/2011 15:40

so why do people hate and resent schools? (from this thread it seems a fair assessment)

Henrythehappyhelicopter · 21/07/2011 15:48

I wanted my DS to miss the last day of term to do a mock exam for his 11 plus.

The head teacher said she could not agree to it as she had a list of things she was allowed to agree and this wasn't on it.

She said that morally and lodgically she thought it made sense but she had to follow the rules she had been given.

I allowed DS to take the day off, as I will always make the decisions for my DC.

She did say I could have lied, but I would prefer not to teach my DC's to lie.

worraliberty · 21/07/2011 15:49

"catgirl it's the UK law that you have to send your children to school"

Can I just point out I've already been corrected on this about 6 times Grin

And if you read back a bit, I then said that if you have your child enroled in a school, they'll want you to send them to said school Lol.