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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be peeved at the school? Can teachers explain it to me?

134 replies

CalamityKate · 21/07/2011 12:53

Wrote a letter to the HT a few days ago, asking if the boys (8 and 9) could have Friday afternoon off for a family outing.

It's the last day of term, they'll only be watching DVD's or something equally end-of-term-ish and all we're asking for is 3 hours off.

HT said no.

Which is fine, but I know for sure that at least 3 children out of DS1's class have had the whole of the last week off to go on holiday!

So what's the score with authorised absences? How is it worked out? Because I'm buggered if I can understand why some children are authorised for days on end, while some are refused three hours Hmm

OP posts:
soverylucky · 21/07/2011 18:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealTillyMinto · 21/07/2011 18:23

SiamoFottuti - but parents dont get to decide everything about their children. a school exists for all of the children, and sometimes it is not going to do what a particular parent wants.... & i just dont think that is a big deal

valiumredhead · 21/07/2011 18:25

seeker no that's just daft! What I would like to see is a bit of common sense applied such as the OP having near perfect attendance and being allowed a couple of hours off on the last day of term. If attendance was an issue then I believe the school has every right to query it but it's blanket rules that I cannot stand!

SiamoFottuti · 21/07/2011 21:31

The school can decide what they do when they are there. However I will decide which school they go to and when, and I don;t think thats a big deal.

iamnotsuperwoman · 21/07/2011 21:48

Just go. I would.

SE13Mummy · 21/07/2011 21:49

I replied earlier but the upgrade ate what I'd written Hmm.

Anyway, what I said was that my Y4 class won't be watching DVDs etc. tomorrow, they'll be conducting very exciting science investigations on friction, gradients and surfaces that they've been desperate to do. The boys are thrilled that they can bring their Tech Decks in to test the various conditions but the last day definitely won't be wasted.

What I would say though is that if you'd like to make an early getaway but want to avoid lying, you could collect your DS as soon as the afternoon register has been taken. That way he'll be marked present for the session (the office will probably sign him out) thus protecting the school's attendance figures but you will avoid the traffic. I think it's a reasonable compromise and it's something I've done myself with DD1.

youarekidding · 21/07/2011 22:45

Just let them stay an extra hour, answer the register and pick them up for an 'appointment'. OK means you leave a little later but the HT gets his/her attendance mark and your DC's get their evening out at the races.

Thing that annoys me that in reverse they'll mark a child who's absent for first half hour as absent for session. This happened when DS attended hospital appointment and was in school at 9.30am. He missed registration and 15 minutes PE. His report shows this as absent for session due to medical reason. However the times he's gone in for 1hr then I've picked him up for hospital appointments and he's missed 2 hours school he's classed as attended. Hmm

youarekidding · 21/07/2011 22:46

Jeez sorry x posts. On phone and didn't refresh before sending. Blush

marriedinwhite · 21/07/2011 22:59

Why do you have to have a family outing on the last afternoon of term when they are about to have six weeks off for family outings? I totally see the schools point of view and think YABU.

spiderpig8 · 21/07/2011 23:23

It's so weird.DD1 s old school heamaster never authorised any absence for anything (other obviously than the kids being sick).Govt are always threatening truant officers, and generally making such a song and dance about how education will be severly and permanantly affected taking a day off, let alone holidays in term time.
And it just seemed so weird that one morning I handed ina letter to say she wouldn't be coming any more and that was that. Nobody gives a stuff because it doesn't count towards attandance figures.

exoticfruits · 22/07/2011 07:14

I don't really understand your post spiderpig, you can deregister if you want to, the school don't have to give permission.

seeker · 22/07/2011 07:19

That's not wierd, spiderpig8 - if you deregister your child that child is no longer the responsibility of the school. Why should the school take any further action? In fact, you would be justified in being seriously pissed off if they did!

InTheNightKitchen · 22/07/2011 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

InTheNightKitchen · 22/07/2011 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TheRealTillyMinto · 22/07/2011 09:24

ok. I checked this with DP last night (who is a head). He says he cannot authorise an absense just because the parent wants them to. He does not understand how heads that do are doing so. the LEA & govt makes the rules (not him), but FWIW he thinks this one is correct.

he has had about 15 resquest for time off this week, about 10 for the entire week. he believes it is in the children's best interest to be at school the final week. they have many celebrations and thinks they learn about things coming to an end and change. two of the parents ignored him & took thier kids out of school anyway but he was glad he did not ok it. he thinks most the time is is about convience of the parents & has very little to do with their children.

he showed me on youtube some of their end of year events, lots of kids having lots of fun.

cornflakegirl · 22/07/2011 13:06

I agree with Tilly.

I'm a governor at DS's school, and I know something of how much the head has to cope with. We have a problem with attendance - basically caused by a handful of kids with seriously poor attendance. DS's attendance is good but not perfect - he's had a few tummy bugs this year. I would try to avoid taking DS out of school because I don't want to make the head's life any harder, and because I don't want to contribute to a culture of poor attendance.

On the other hand, on sports day, parents were invited to stay for lunch and then take their children home after registration. DH didn't take DS home because he didn't want him to miss an afternoon of school - somehow didn't realise that if most of the kids were going home, there wasn't going to be anything much happening. They watched a film. DH wasn't impressed.

spiderpig8 · 22/07/2011 21:01

Exoticfruits/seeker- i meant the govt really not the school.the dept seems to lean on schools so hard to prevent absence and yet doesn't give a stuff about HE.I HE'd my DD1 for 1.5 years and never heard a thing from anyone!

exoticfruits · 22/07/2011 22:12

Once you deregister you won't hear from the school. What do you want them to do? Stop you? They can't stop you-you are exercising your right and they know it. Your DCs are not at the school-they are not absent-they do not count in truancy figures. The LEA has no right to visit you. I think they ought to-but that is anti everything that HE believe or want.

seeker · 22/07/2011 23:39

Your child will be on a list somewhere as HEd. Or she certainly should be.

startail · 22/07/2011 23:52

Why do parents sometimes take a dim view of schools- because they talk down to us as if we are the children.
Why do schools treat parents like this, because the government , ofstead and the local authorities had down so many initiatives that they haven't the energy to reword the junk they have to send out.

manicinsomniac · 23/07/2011 00:20

catgirl, I work in a private school and I've never known a parent ask about an absence, they just inform. When I get a letter saying a child will be absent for any reason I dont even have to take it to the head, I just mark it down in the register under H (holiday), E (educational activity) R (Religious activity) or A (another reason).

We get a lot of very short duration absences (though to be fair we work Saturday mornings so a lot of them are for family weddings/parties etc) and lots of children missing the last couple of day of term. I really don't think it affects their education in the long term.

Most parents are sensible and care anout their child's education. They're not going to take them out for no good reason and they're not going to be doing it all the time. And, if they do and are, then there are steps that can be taken I guess.

I think schools should trust parents to parent their own children.

catgirl1976 · 23/07/2011 09:10

Thanks manic - that's interesting. It looks like attitudes vary between schools and a sensible school (private or state) will look at the bigger picture in terms of a childs overall attendance, reasons for being off etc and accepts there is a difference between the odd day here and there for a family event, trip out etc and persistent, unexplained absence. I would still find "asking" rather odd and think I would rather politley inform in writing.

seeker · 23/07/2011 09:13

catgirl, do you ask or tell if you want a day's holiday at work?

catgirl1976 · 23/07/2011 09:27

I tell - but that's becasue of my role. I agree- if I was more junior I would have to ask so I see that point. I just think it is a little different with schools and children

lovesicecream · 23/07/2011 11:37

Schools are saying no to keep their attendance figures up, bit unfair when it's unlikely that parents who ask for their children to have time off are the ones causing the poor attendance figures