To be fucking fucked off (this will be both lengthy and ranty)

[Tiredtrout]

I currently through no fault of my own appear to be living in a fucking soap opera.

My whole year has been shit and I don't seem to be close to the end of the faecal matter.

I love my dh dearly but he cannot cope with any pressure or criticism at all and is about as resilient as balsa wood. In feb last year he was put on a disciplinary at work for gross misconduct. This has happened in every job he's had since I've known him. I helped him resolve it but while researching the misconduct, his work policies and coaching his spineless useless cunt of a union rep on how to get dh off I said to dh that if he lost his job he would have to go. I can't support the whole household on my wage alone. Thought it would sharpen his mind on growing the fuck up.

My dh held on to that till our 10th anniversary in august last year and chose to get me no card, present, and leave me on my own on a campsite for most of the day. We were on holiday camping, he had packed seperate sleeping bags for us too. His message was quite clear. On our return home he told me he wanted to hurt me for what I'd said, cunt.

TT :(

Really, get yourself to bed with a milky drink. You sound a bit hyper xxx

Yes green eyes i do love TM and when is it shaking he looks a bit like a possessed Depp/Brand at that point...must be the eyeliner

I digress...am still up Tiredtrout if you need company

Yeah but sometimes you just need to get it out, lying in bed furious isn't sleep.

The doctor confirmed that the haematoma was the most likely cause of the loss of my baby and that my assault was the likely cause of it.

The nurses kept me awake all night but wouldn't talk to me about my baby, they referred to it as tissue (technically right but cruel). They wouldn't allow my dh or my children to see me in the morning. I was discharged and when I phoned my mum she told me that it was probably for the best, it was natures way and that I shouldn't have told anyone till 12 weeks

christ, just read your last post TT am so very very sorry

Thanks for the advice curryspice but I'm too upset to

nope - i don't give a flying fig whether technically it was tissue or not - you lost your baby. You deserved compassion and pain relief. I am gutted for you that you got neither.

If you think of your life without him, would it be a happier place?

Therein lies your answer.

I'm so, so sorry TT. Really sad for you.

I hope venting helps. I'll be up for a while but I'm on iphone so will probably take a while to reply x

I can feel through the screen how upset you are :(

I am torn, not sure if getting it all out is cathartic or just dredges it all up again when you sound like you need sleep :(

I am so very sorry to hear what you've been going through :( you really have been through the wars. But is it really useful to blame it all on your DH?

Is he awake? Can he listen to you.

I feel a bit worried about you :(

My dad phoned me later on and apologised for mum being a bitch. I have 3 sisters and now all of us have had miscarriages. Mine was the furthest along.

The next day my mother came to visit me. She informed I looked well built and slapped me on the arse. I gently told I had just had surgery and been carrying a baby for 3 months, I'd put on 7lbs and to back off. After 90 minutes of this my dad removed her from my house.

My dh has been very supportive and has been looking after me so well but I'm so angry about how being assaulted on duty can cause me so much pain.

I went in last night and made a complaint. I doubt the cps will run with it. I wrote down every bit of what had happened to me physically.

I called the hospital today to ask what would happen to my baby. The nurse that answered told me that she will not call it q baby as it was tissue, that it would be bundled up with all the others and cremated. If I wanted to make a complaint I could speak to pals

:( Was your DH supportive after the miscarriage?

My dh has been told that 2 days off work is enough time to grieve for his baby and to support me. He is asleep next to me as he has to be in work at 6. I will not begrudge him that.

I'm just so hurt and sad by how badly I was treated. I want my baby. It is just not fair, I'm perfectly healthy and we did everything right to give our baby every chance and it was still taken from us.

My dh is crap when shitness happens to the kids and isn't great at work but he supports me so much. In the past 6 years I've lost count of the number of times

Oh TT how awful :( you poor woman :(

Can I ask again if your DH is about? Can you talk to him?

That he has looked after me when I've been assaulted and un over at work or people made allegations about me.

I just need to get it out

Sorrry cross posted. Jeez I don't know what to say :(

Still here and you are justified in feeling angry tiredtrout - whether the CPS do much with your complaint or not it might enable you to feel you 'did something'.
I cannot begin to imagine how you are feeling right now. I know there are bereavement/miscarriage threads on mumsnet where mums have been where you are right now. I also took the liberty of posting the link below in case you needed someone on the phone too but I am still up (an hour ahead of you so 2am but will stay up if you need it).

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/support/how-we-can-help/

How are you right this second - do you have a cup of tea or a duvet. Can you post from bed even if not sleepy?

He's asleep and needs to rest as he works on the motorways sometimes walking in the live traffic. I'm up with my dog. The hospital gave me no advice on what will happen to my body or how I will recover, no advice on bereavement not even contraception just told you can try again any time. But nothng about me not being strong enough right now

You poor thing.

People have behaved really badly around you - your DH, mother, the nurses, your employer and the people who have assaulted you. It's just awful.

www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/ ?

its no wonder you're feeling so bad, you've been through so much and its all so fresh and raw. I really think counselling will help, your gp can refer you if you tell him/her how this has affected you

Ah you are posting from bed - leave the computer a second and go into the kitchen and make yourself a drink. I will do the same. Two sugars.
Then type a bit more - but put the kettle on right now, you need some blood sugar.

Tired I'm so sorry all of this has happened to you. Can you go and talk to the Doctor you liked about getting bereavement counselling?

I've gone down stairs going to get yet another drink. I think I'm still dehydrated from. All the fluid loss. I seem to be drinking constantly but still thirsty. I might try and sleep on the couch I've not been sleeping much for the past two weeks. I know I need to speak to someone properly about all this. When I spoke to the nurse today she told me they won't even cancel the ultrasounds or inform my midwife i have to do it all my self tomorrow