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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
Ormirian · 17/07/2011 18:31

Yanbu - I don't blame you. But what do you think should happen? Presumably you don't seriously expect them to have the dog PTS before your visit to suit you?

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 18:34

The OP's in London, from her profile, and has had offers from two relatively local dog-owning Home Counties residents to care for the dog for the duration of her MILs stay.

Maybe it would suit her to pass those offers on to MIL. I'm sure that Alouise and I are both able to supply references etc for the MILs peace of mind.

There, you see. A nice, easy solution.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 18:35

Curly, my pil have already booked their hotel in advance - it is a bargain booking with Holiday Inn that they are unable and unwilling to amend because of the cost. So, it would be the dog stays here or not.

So before I made up my mind about the issue, I wanted to discuss it a bit. Not such a crime really that, is it? Or perhaps it is.

I would never martyr myself for anyone in actual fact. Even if I'd made up my mind, dh and I would have to discuss it further between us to reach an agreement.

Except mil has just telephoned dh. She said she saw the vet on Friday and he said the dog has had it really, and should be put down. Very dehydrated and howling for water were her words. Except she said she won't do it yet. It's too hard for her, she says. She still wants Fil to drive them down here next weekend with the dog. Dh got cross then and told her that he knows it's very hard for her but that is the wrong thing to do and that we won't have the dog here because he thinks it's cruel.

I don't know what to think now. She's upset. The dog's in a bad way.

OP posts:
Poodleplops · 17/07/2011 18:35

I dont think yabu its your house i persoally wouldnt have a dog in mine a friend of dh dog stays in the house i hate visiting as the smell of dog makes me want to vomit also what if it dies on ur watch they might think u killed it Wink

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 18:35

Ive regressed about 20 years today, im finding the cunt comments very funny Grin

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 18:36

"Presumably you don't seriously expect them to have the dog PTS before your visit to suit you?"

No. I expect them to be able to find alternative arrangements where they live.

I never said I wanted them to put the dog to sleep. I said I thought the dog was very unwell and probably was ready.

There's some very weird conclusions drawn on this thread from nowhere.

OP posts:
Malcontentinthemiddle · 17/07/2011 18:38

Well it wouldn't be 'to suit you', would it - it is they who are staying with you, not the other way round, so none of this is about your convenience anyway!

I really feel for you on this OP.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 18:38

At least your DH has the bottle to put a stop to it.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 18:39

Jesus Christ, that's a different matter altogether, Winky. :( Poor little mite.

Surely all you can do is say that under no circumstances will they be welcome at your house with this very ill dog, nor will you entertain their visit if the dog remains alive against the vet's advice.

Sorry, but I'd do whatever it takes - blackmail, threats, whatever (and by feck I'd mean every word of it) to prevent the dog suffering further.

lachesis · 17/07/2011 18:40

Or trot it over to your local vet :o.

kernowqueen · 17/07/2011 18:41

I havent read all posts, but why dont you and hubby stay in the hotel, and let the outlaws have the house, children and dog, bingo win win all round.
PS i wouldnt want the dog, sorry. My parents wont leave their cat at all until she meets her maker, so they havent left it for a few years. Its so WELL looked after, with fresh chicken and fish daily, she is 18 yrs, going blind and still has a few yrs left in her at this rate! Good luck with it.

Ormirian · 17/07/2011 18:42

Problem is with kennels is that a very elderly sick dog might not survive them - shock and disruption might be the final straw. My parents put their old JRT in kennels to go on a holiday - booked and paid for when dog was more hale and hearty. They were very close to cancelling because of the dog - but I promised to look in on him if the owner called me to say he had taken a turn for the worst. As it happens he survived - only last a few days after they got back though. Perhaps that is the problem with the kennel suggestion.

BTW I am not sure why people are accusing me of giving op a hard time Hmm I sympathised but I wanted to see what she thought should happen.

LineRunner · 17/07/2011 18:43

Animal welfare legislation is pretty clear. The owner has to put the animal first. If a vet has advised that the dog should be put down, and has given the owner some time to absorb the advice, then that's one thing.

But the owner's taking the dog on a journey and leaving it with other people - I think the vet should certainly have been asked if it was advisable and in the dog's (as opposed to the owners') best interests, especially as the poor thing's dehydrated and unlikely to be able to rehydrate itself through normal means.

Poor dog.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 18:43

Under the circumstances - and only under these circumstances, lachesis, yes I agree with you. If I could (assuming there's no doubt about the vet's assessment and that there is absolutely nothing which can be done to save the dog) I'd be marching over to the OP's PIL's house tonight and taking the dog from them in order to do the thing that they should have the decency to do.

And I'd deal with the legal consequences later, once the dog is no longer suffering.

Ormirian · 17/07/2011 18:44

Sad Just read your last post. Well I think in that case PILs should stay home.

Andrewofgg · 17/07/2011 18:44

DBF and FabbyChic: Your house is on fire. You can save the dog or the DC (let's assume you have one of each) but but the time you have saved one the other will be dead.

What do you do?

I think I know the answer. I hope I know the answer. If I don't, then the only thing I can say - that won't get deleted - is that there are members, male and female, of our species who are strange beyond imagining.

kernowqueen · 17/07/2011 18:44

Also, why do they want to put the poor dog through the car journey, staying in a strange house, with children, and they walk out and have a stay in a hotel. Why if its so important to them, why didnt they find a hotel that will allow them to keep the dog in the room. The dog will be very unsettled if they are not around, I dont think they are being fair on the dog. I love my pets, and when we go away we will always consider them and factor in their care for them, so its not too stressful.

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 18:46

Your problem is sorted then Winky. Shame about the dog, hope your MIL follows the vets advice.

Bunbaker · 17/07/2011 18:49

I think it would be very cruel to bring a sick dog on a long car journey and then impose it on someone else. How would your MIL feel if the dog died during the night while it was in your house. Your MIL has put you in a difficult situation and is asking too much of you.

I also think that if the vet has suggested that euthanasia would be the kindest thing your MIL is being cruel to keep the dog alive when it is so distressed.

diddl · 17/07/2011 18:49

Sounds as if the poor dog wouldn´t survive the journey/nights in an unfamiliar place.

Your husband has done the right thing.

Of course it´s hard for her, but it´s not about her, is it?

LineRunner · 17/07/2011 18:49

Suddenly I seem like the voice of reason running through that thread. If only someone had noticed...

Please don't stop the interesting stuff tho!

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 18:52

I noticed Linerunner and i did comment, you didnt notice, that i had noticed, but you might notice now!

MrsCampbellBlack · 17/07/2011 18:55

Oh dear poor dog.

But seriously your mil doesn't sound a very caring dog owner.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 18:57

I said in my op the dog was unwell. I couldnt understand why one would travel with a sick animal. I never thought about dying on me whilst pil were in hotel though. Oh that would be hard for dcs too. They've just lost their beloved cat.

Orm, dog was never put in kennels anyway. He always stays at the house of the woman who bred him. She is retired and had one other dog, also quite elderly. I said this earlier.

I think mil wants all time she can possibly have with him but thus weekend away booked for ages.

OP posts:
LineRunner · 17/07/2011 18:57

Of course I noticed you noticing, dearest Claw3, apologies, but it's been hard to pay attention amidst all this amazing outpouringness of ... stuff.

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