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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I just don't want their dog here

450 replies

WinkyWinkola · 17/07/2011 11:18

Pil are coming to visit this weekend. They stay in a hotel as our house is too small to accommodate them.

Mil has this ancient dog that is blind and well, imo, ready to be put down. She wants to bring it with them. It will have to stay with us whilst they are in the hotel.

I don't want the dog here, especially not a disabled one that will probably poo and wee every where. We don't have a garden as it's currently a building site.

If I wanted a dog, I'd get one. I don't so I won't. I've got 3 dcs and that's really enough for me. Plus all the cooking and hospitality for pil this weekend - which of course I don't mind but I think bringing the dog is an imposition.

Aibu?

OP posts:
lachesis · 17/07/2011 17:57

I have fly swatters positioned all over the house. Handy for bastard wasps as well. I definitely don't kill spiders, however, as they eat annoying insects such as flies.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 17:58
Claw3 · 17/07/2011 17:58

LOL@ i think someone who only loves their child as much as a dog might be a bit of cunt.

Sorry, that tickled me. Anyone who is tickled by it is probably a bit of cunt too.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 17/07/2011 18:00

Does your child know you only love it as much as a dog?

lachesis · 17/07/2011 18:00

Well, honestly, it's academic in my personal situation as such a dog would not come to my house. The ILs would be informed in no uncertain terms that dogs are not welcome in our home. In fact they already know this. But since the OP has had this situation thrust upon her, again, other suggestions were leaving it in a car or trapping it in a kitchen. Mine would be to feign ownership, cart it to a vet and get it put out of its misery or relocate it so it is no longer the troublesome burden it presents to the OP, as she is somehow incapable of saying no, it is not coming in my home.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 18:01

Children, Malcontent. Two. Well adjusted, compassionate animal-lovers.

Do you mean, do we discuss this over breakfast? Hmm You really do ask some peculiar questions.

My kids are bloody lucky to be loved as much as my dogs... considering how much I love my dogs I'm doing bloody well.

FabbyChic · 17/07/2011 18:03

Not sure what I put can't be arsed to look, but until you have a dog you do not understand how much they become part of the family. I love my son like nothing on earth, I love my dog just as much as I love my son, not more than.

If he were to die I would be berefit and it would feel like I had lost a child.

I wouldn't be the first to say that either, because it is what it is like, they become a part of your family, they become loyal to you.

StuckInTheMiddleWithYou · 17/07/2011 18:06

How old are the three dc's?

Would helping to care for a sick animal not be a good learning experience for them? Assuming they're old enough to do it safely of course.

Pets are as much a part of the family as any human. I've known people grieve for months and even years over the loss of a cat or dog.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 17/07/2011 18:07

It would not feel like you had lost a child. If a child dies, do you think many parents would think 'oh this is just like last year when Lassie got distemper and had to be put down - really quite sad'?

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 18:08

I have a dog, i love him, as a pet, not a child. He is part of the family and i would be upset if he died. I cant get my head around comparing this loss to the loss of a child.

But each to their own i suppose.

GeraldineAubergine · 17/07/2011 18:11

I have been reading this thread and I'm a bit shocked. If it were my mil and my house I probably would let the dog stay and make him comfortable, not because I desperately want an elderly incontinent dog in my house, but because family and their feelings are important to me. I do find it a bit surprsing you could type that you love an animal as much as your kids, even if you thought it. What if your kids ever read it, I would have been so upset to read my mum loved me as much as her pug.

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 18:12

Fabbychic, you say until you have a dog you cant understand how it would feel for that dog to die.

I think until you have lost a child, you cant understand how it would feel. I am sure that those who have lost a child, would find it quite upset for you to be comparing the two to be honest.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 17/07/2011 18:12

All of you who think the OP should suck it up and dog sit for MIL - what if there was an AIBU in which the OP said she was going to stay at a friends but there wasn't room for them all, so she and DH were booked into a hotel nearby but there wasn't room for the kids - AIBU to think the friends should look after the children while we stay in the hotel.....? One of the kids is still in nappies, and our friends don't have kids themselves.

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 18:13

be quite upset

MrsCampbellBlack · 17/07/2011 18:15

Lordy - this thread is bonkers as conkers.

OP you are so not being unreasonable to not want the dog to stay. Carrying on the child/dog comparison - I wouldn't leave my sick child with family as know when they're poorly they want me - am not a dog -owner but am guessing its similar.

And I'm guessing that some of the very passionate dog owners on this thread wouldn't leave their poorly dogs with anyone let alone someon who knows nothing about dogs.

So I think the pils need to take responsibility for their dog.

LineRunner · 17/07/2011 18:18

I do know from personal experience that humans make massive emotional attachments to dogs and cats. For feck's sake, I have missed Harry Potter en famille today to sit in with one of our animals who is not quite right. I am doing this because it is responsible and I care about it.

Which is precisely why I wouldn't take it on a journey and leave it with someone else.

ChaoticAngelofGryffindor · 17/07/2011 18:20

"(And yes, it would be illegal to take a dog to a vet and kill it without the owner's knowledge and permission)."

There's a poster on here whose in-laws volunteered to look after her dogs while she and her DH went on holiday. They had them pts.

I don't see why the PIL can't look for a dog friendly hotel and take care of their dog themselves.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 18:20

Malcontent, there you go again. Assuming to know how people feel or how they should feel.

To lose a dog may not feel as if you had lost a child to you.

But you cannot possibly have any idea of how it would feel to me or to anyone else. To claim or insinuate otherwise is foolish.

GA, DD2 has read a quick scan of this and is pissing herself laughing at some of it and disgusted by the attitudes of the likes of lachesis.

CQrrrneee · 17/07/2011 18:22

how far away do PIL live? Why make an old dog travel unnecessarily? Poor dog would probably be happier with a neighbour.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 18:22

"There's a poster on here whose in-laws volunteered to look after her dogs while she and her DH went on holiday. They had them pts."

Shock

Almost speechless.

Angry

It wouldn't be of help to the poor murdered dogs but by fuck I'd ensure that my PILs never walked again if they ever did that to my dogs. It'd make me feel better.

CurlyCasper · 17/07/2011 18:24

I've only read to page 9, but I'm getting really annoyed with the OP. Dog lovers V haters aside, the OP is being a bit of a martyr.

She does not want the dog there and cites plenty of reasons why not. But she's not willing to take some of the good advice re dog-friendly hotels and giving valid reasons why the dog should not stay and instead takes the "it's coming this once and I will suffer" attitude. Oh, woe is the OP!

OP - Your home, your choice. Get the original hotel cancelled, get them all booked into a dog friendly place, and keep everyone - especially the poor dog - happy.

If you are not willing to accept the advice, then I don't see the point of the thread, other than to give a voice to the likes of lachesis Angry

And FWIW, I am a dog owner and lover and would never presume that someone else would want my dog in their home. Same goes for my child. And, when I don't like something, I seek a solution that I am happy with rather than "sucking it up" and making everyone else miserable in the process.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 17/07/2011 18:24

No, I'm sorry, but to say you would be as sad if your child died as you will when your dog does has to be either untrue or insane.

You're right that I cannot have any idea how it would feel to you, of course - I just go by the notion that any normal person would be sadder to lose a child than a dog.

The corollary of your argument that to lose a dog would feel like losing a child is that losing a child would feel like losing a dog. And that I find.... well.... cuntish, to be honest.

Claw3 · 17/07/2011 18:26

Comparing losing a dog to losing a child is bizarre to say the least.

DogsBestFriend · 17/07/2011 18:27

Malcontent I can't be bothered to argue with someone who persists in presuming to know how I feel. Think me a cunt as much as you like, my kids are happy, my dogs are happy.... I'm happy.

Malcontentinthemiddle · 17/07/2011 18:28

I don't presume to know how you feel, DBF, far from it! I can't begin to comprehend it at all! As I said above, you're right that I cannot have any idea how it would feel to you.

Here's a question then - would you think it was normal if someone loved a budgie, or a hamster, or a rat as much as their child? Or is it just dogs where that's normal?

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