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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not understand how people force toddlers to be restrained

119 replies

kitkey · 17/07/2011 09:15

This is about some response on another thread about forcing a toddler to sit in a trolley - I have heard it before and people say the same about highchairs. I have two bogs and never have I been able to force them in a trolley seat or highchair against their will. Firstly the straps are often just map belt so if the stand up are useless - if you keep making them sit down time after time - you get nowhere and then they scream the place down caused annoyance to others. I just don't get how people can just say "just sit them in the trolley" or " pop them in the highchair". Are these children just less determined and less naughty or is there a technique to restraining a raging toddler!

OP posts:
Original poster
kitkey · 17/07/2011 09:16

Bog = boys
Map = lap. Blush

OP posts:
Northernlurker · 17/07/2011 09:18

Yes those children are less determined. I have thre dcs. 1 you certainly could get to 'just sit' and two not. I remember my mil saying the same about her 3 and reins. Dh would use them a bit, sil was fine and bil - no chance!

HoneyPablo · 17/07/2011 09:18

Of course there is a technique. You have to feel you are in charge and the child picks up on that and becomes compliant. Also, you never give in. if they won't sit down, than you make them, it really is as easy as that.

AuntieMonica · 17/07/2011 09:19

have you never had to use the 'one arm across the waist, other across the shoulders and snap' to get them into a carseat/buggy when they do the 'ironing board' at you then?

wow! you're the 1st person i've met!

DoMeDon · 17/07/2011 09:20

I 'made' DD sit in a high chair - (with shoulder straps - agree about lap strap)- she screamed the house down. I 'made' DD sit in a trolley - she kept standing up, screamed, sobbed. I 'made' DD sit in her buggy around town (she refused to walk and wanted to be carried) - she cried the whole time. I am not a 'giver inner' by nature but fucked if I know how anyone does it without tears!

happymole · 17/07/2011 09:21

Ahh the old snap and fold, I remember it well Auntie

Grin
Original poster
kitkey · 17/07/2011 09:22

Car seat and buggy yes as they have the five point harness - those lap belts are not a restraint at all and I find them useless.

OP posts:
Sirzy · 17/07/2011 09:22

My Ds is 20 months and at times he hates being restrained but quite frankly tough! If we are in the supermarket he will sit in the trolley and no amount of fighting will stop that.

At the moment he hates his car seat but again tough he has no choice in the matter.

HoneyPablo · 17/07/2011 09:22

You ignore the tears.

Original poster
kitkey · 17/07/2011 09:24

Well if they are crying and screaming it is causing more commotion than having them out of trolley or high chair. I just like quiet life.

OP posts:
AuntieMonica · 17/07/2011 09:26

if it really is a problem with the DCs getting out, then perhaps you should consider using a seperate harness as well?

and you do ignore the tears. PITA maybe but they will cry a lot more if they fall out of a trolley!

HairyGrotter · 17/07/2011 09:28

If she won't do it quietly then DD will do it with a wail, end of the day, she fucking does it.

I care not for the noise and the commotion, she's a stubborn old boot but she's met her match in me.

Sirzy · 17/07/2011 09:28

I like my child to know they can't always have what they want. Letting a toddler walk around a supermarket often isn't practical and causes problems for everyone including other shoppers.

When out for a meal the highchair isn't an option when eating as he would run around otherwise disturbing others.

At 20 months he is already learning that I won't give in and it makes things easy most of the time.

IMO you just have to persevere and not give in.

Original poster
kitkey · 17/07/2011 09:29

They are older now 2.2 and 3.7 so no need to sit in trolley on highchair - in fact they fight to sit in seat now but expecting dc3 - maybe she will be different!

OP posts:
bruffin · 17/07/2011 09:29

Buy an old fashioned reins, take off the strap and clip those on the D rings on pushchair or high chair. I had two or three pairs. Just took child out of pushchair with reins on straight into shopping trolley and clip them onto the wire.

5GoMadOnAZ650 · 17/07/2011 09:30

I find that when my four have needed restraining in a trolly, highchair or pushchair harness its for their own safety so i've always gone for the "tough titties" approach. It's for their safety, as toddlers they have no option and I dont back down.

bruffin · 17/07/2011 09:30

and has others have said - do not give in!

Huffythetantrumslayer · 17/07/2011 09:33

Ds has to sit in trolley/car seat etc he might scream for a couple of min but he knows that's where he has to stay and stops crying when he realises its getting him nowhere. I admit if he screamed non stop for the whole shopping trip it would be very tough but we are lucky he's never done that. He did have one almighty tantrum once when we tried to put him in highchair when out for lunch and we did have to take him outside to calm down first before we could get him in it.

Morloth · 17/07/2011 09:35

I just don't care about the screaming or the tears.

They can have a tantrum if they like, that is their business, but they will do as I say.

HarryPotheadLicksDobby · 17/07/2011 09:36

I use the "Karate Chop" method to get them into the car seat, pushchair etc Grin

BoysAreLikeDogs · 17/07/2011 09:42

loving the snap and fold and karate chop

am mentioned the Apply the Knee technique when getting your stiffasaboard child into the buggy

SenoritaViva · 17/07/2011 09:42

I don't know, I think with that particular thread it was about waitrose on a Saturday. I know if it was my waitrose I worry even about my 4 year old on a Saturday as she gets squished by the masses who don't see her small frame and I'd rather she was in the trolley so I'd really worry about a 2 year old. At least DD's old enough to explain if you want to walk fine but if you get too bashed rather get in the trolley. If she was too little I think I'd deal with the wailing rather than getting beaten up by customers with baskets.

Original poster
kitkey · 17/07/2011 09:42

Yes I could always get them in the thing but they never stayed - maybe that's why my kids still give give me so much grief. Watch out dd - you are the final run Wink

OP posts:
BoysAreLikeDogs · 17/07/2011 09:42

mentioned

mentioning

HoneyPablo · 17/07/2011 09:42

kitkey if they really won't do as you tell them, then try giving them choices.
Weighted in your favour, though. 'You can either sat in your highchair and eat your dinner or stay there and have no dinner' You have to follow it through, or it won't work.
You will need bags of perserverance, patience and consistency.