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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

7yo often home alone in the morning, WWYD? If anything?

588 replies

Hufflepuzzpig · 14/07/2011 14:20

I genuinely don't know. Neighbour's DS (nearly 8 but acts very young for his age) always goes in the car with his mum in the evening to pick up his dad from work, and he's not allowed to stay home/on the shared front lawn on his own while his mum goes.

In the mornings though, DH has noticed the DS is never with them, so the mum comes back and then takes him to school. I guess he must still be asleep or just doesn't get dressed on time or doesn't want to go.

Is that ok at that age? I wouldn't leave a 7yo home alone, but I expect many do and I don't think it's as terrible as DH does. He is generally more paranoid/helicoptery than me though. I know it's a really subjective issue, and the age at which parents let DCs be home alone varies massively.

I'd be happy for him to just come over for that time (about 30mins) in the mornings, even if he's in his PJs, should I suggest it? We don't know the parents that well, they are lovely but very shy and his mum in particular struggles with English. I could suggest it to the DS though, he likes it here.

I guess what I'm basically asking is - is nearly-8 old enough for this to be absolutely none of my business and I (and DH!) should chill because it's fine? Or is it a bit young to be home alone even for a short time?

OP posts:
rhondajean · 04/08/2011 22:16

I wouldnt leave my 7 year old but the law and guidance is that its a personal decision and if you can prove that you have thought through potential risks and dealt with them then you can leave children alone. It depends on childs maturity too. Eg you dont know if they have talked it through with child; he knows not to use anything electrical/in kitchen while alone; he is left with emergency phone numbers and maybe even someone else living nearby to go if something happens who isnt OP.

Calling SS is a step too far initially. The advice not to investigate but to refer is applicable to professionals. If you want to tell your neighbour you are concerned and offer to help you do that. If you get anything that then concerns you further you can call SS. Child sounds well looked after apart from this from rest of it. Its all about being proportionate. SW departments are well aware that many working parents have their children come home alone and as long as above is done are unlikely to interfere from my experience.

I still feel 7 is very young though. It must be difficult for the whole family, it sounds like they arent local, and they could use friends.

exoticfruits · 04/08/2011 22:33

Rubbish Maxicool. It is an old thread-have you read all the way through it? I would hate to live next door to you! And I would not be intimidated by you and your scaremongering. I would also be asking questions about why you were wasting the time and resources of SS. Popping next door and saying that you would be available in an emergency is quite adequate ,unless you have evidence that there is any neglect (and OP didn't).

PhylisStein · 04/08/2011 22:34

Useful guidelines regarding the law on leaving children home alone

PhylisStein · 04/08/2011 22:35

...are on the nspcc website !!

exoticfruits · 04/08/2011 22:36

Note-they are guidelines-not the law.

PhylisStein · 04/08/2011 22:37

"The law does not set a minimum age at which children can be left alone. However, it is an offence to leave a child alone when doing so puts him or her at risk."

exoticfruits · 04/08/2011 22:37

You have perfectly sensible 7yr old that you could leave for 20 mins and irresponsible 14yr olds that you wouldn't leave for 5 mins.

exoticfruits · 04/08/2011 22:39

If you read it all properly the parents had risk assessed and didn't leave him later in the day. Of course you are responsible when you are not there-are you really suggesting that you wouldn't be? Hmm

exoticfruits · 04/08/2011 22:41

This thread is from mid July with nearly 600posts! I think that people ought to read them before they go over exactly the same ground.

PhylisStein · 04/08/2011 22:44

you talkin' to me?

exoticfruits · 05/08/2011 07:00

Yes-the NSPPC guidelines were already discussed way back.

Maxicool resurrected this thread, the DC in question is now 8yrs. It is very different leaving an 8yr old who will be in yr4 in three weeks time to leaving a 7yr old who has had only 3 weeks in yr 2.

Mine are way beyond 8yrs but I left them, for short periods at that age, an informed choice that I am not in the least ashamed about-I think that it was good parenting and I would not be prepared to sit back and let ss treat me as an irresponsible,neglectful parent as outlined by Maxicool. I would also be furious, if with their huge workload, they were wasting time and resources with it and very annoyed with Maxicool if she didn't bother to discuss it with me first before she decided to make judgements.

emmamoo11 · 05/01/2016 09:53

I leave my 10 year old alone when I take his brother to school. I did it from 7. He also walked to and from school on his own......shock horror!!! I know you are trying to be kind...but.......

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