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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to wonder why a 20yo woman would go out with a 16yo boy

130 replies

unomania · 10/07/2011 11:49

My 16yo brother has a new girlfriend who is 20 and just can't get my head round it. I know its none of my business but I just can't understand it.

OP posts:
tyler80 · 10/07/2011 17:49

I thought the 16 year old was 17 when I started seeing him. We met through a shared hobby and an event that was open to 16-26 year olds so I knew he was somewhere in that range.

I knew he was about to start university and tbh never asked his age outright (not sure he knew mine either). So I didn't find out he was only 16 until a week later (I forgot that Scottish students sometimes go to uni at 17!).

It made me realise that age was just a number, nothing in the preceding week had made me like him any less or think that he was too young, so why change anything when I found out his age?

frownieface · 10/07/2011 17:52

When I was 21 I went out with a 17yo (still at school doing his a-levels [hblush]). It only lasted a couple of months, the sex was amazing and he both acted and looked older than he was.

Does the girl know your brothers age? as he may have said he was older, other than that let the relationship take its natural course, it may last, it may not. It would be pointless even trying to intervene as it would become 'forbidden fruit' and thus even more attractive iyswim.

DoubleNegativePanda · 10/07/2011 18:51

I understand that the age of consent in England is 16. I'm having trouble with this idea because where I am from and where I live now it would be thoroughly illegal as the age of consent is 17, and there may not be more than a two-year gap between them. And we don't leave school until 18.

I guess I'm having a little bit of culturally-induced Shock and recoil.

If this couple were in your country, would it be generally accepted as she is the age of consent? It's caused quite the outraged uproar here.

tyler80 · 10/07/2011 19:00

A 16 year old marrying a 51 year old v a 16 year old and a 20 year old is hardly a comparison.

Plenty of US states have exemptions that have the age of consent at 16 or where the age of consent is older it doesn't become 'thoroughly illegal' until the partner is 21 or older

Andrewofgg · 10/07/2011 19:28

YABU, they are old enough, good luck to them, and MYOB.

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