to have expected a thankyou card after attending a friends' wedding in March??

[NorthernGirlie]

I think it's rude not to thank people who've spent money attending a hen night, bought new outfit, took the day off, spent money at the reception, bought a gift... so I asked the bride if she's forgotten to send cards - she said whe's thanked everyone personally on the day and thought that was enough!!??

i'd expect a thank you card after a wedding, they might say thanks on the day, but generally speaking they wont actually have opened it and seen what the present is yet. if you've put a lot of thought into a gift and they never say thanks, i liked it' well thats just plain rude. an email or a phone call etc is perfectly acceptable too.

BUT i think telling someone they've forgotten to send you a thank you card is pretty peculiar and at the very least balances out their rudeness and possibly surpasses it.

If someone gives you a wedding present then you write and say thank you. Saying thank you on the day is not enough, IMO.

I think writing to people to thank them for their present and their presence is vital after a wedding. People do not have to spend money and time on celebrating with you no matter how well you feed and water them.

We didn't sent thank you cards but we send e-mails with thank you and attached photos of them.

If you were thanked in person then I don't see why that should be followed up with a card.

If you weren't thanked in person then, yes, they should have written cards. And I mean they, not sure why the onus has to be on the bride to do it.

sorry i meant photos of the guests

No she shouldn't have written thank you cards

Anyway, personally I would think being thanked on the day sufficient (cards are just a waste of paper as they simply get binned)

I think this thread proves one thing above any other, most of MN is mad.

I'm truly baffled that people think it's okay not to send thank you cards after a wedding

It's so rude not to

I don't know anyone who wouldn't

I even have people at my wedding who didn't RSVP - some turned up
And some didn't
Really rude

I'm truly baffled that people expect a card as well as having been thanked in person.

oh god get over it.

She thanked you on the day

One thankyou is usually enough for most people

What will you do with the thankyou card anyway? Frame it? Send her a thankyou card thanking her for the thankyou card? No, it will go in the recycling bin.

The only rude person in this scenario is you for asking her if she had forgotten to send them

it really does not matterb

Correct protocol is for bride or groom to hand write a thankyou letter thanking guests for their wedding present.

And for the guests to write to the hosts of the wedding (normally brides' parents - it will be clear from the invitation) thanking them for a lovely party.

Cards are a bit lazy, but better than nothing.

I reckon emails are okay but thanks in person not enough for sure.

Thanks in person not enough. have you heard yourself? A thanks in person is not enough. Not enough. WTF are you lot on?

She said thank you ,thats enough

I'd have thought a thank you card would be expected for a wedding and christening to be honest

Actually - after a wedding, if the invitation has come from the Brides parents, I always write and say compliment them on the day and the effort put in ..... it's manners. Which are in short supply in society today along with common courtesy and etiquette.

And no I can't type coherantly either

I agree completely with GeorgeEliot's post.

And there's no way I would have been up to the task of learning the "who gave what" list so I could go round and everyone individually (or check a co-ordianted shared plan with the groom), and make sure no-one was missed out. And ours was quite a small wedding! I really wouldn't have wanted all that hanging over me as a reception 'to do' list, when actually I'd rather be celebrating.

TBH if anyone is going to stew at receiving no thankyou card (text, call, face to face email not being enough) - I'd really rather you didn't give me a grudged present which has to meet your specific thanking requirements. You are welcome to the do (or would I still be rude to not send a card to thankyou for attending). Funny, as I might say that people who think like this are ungracious and rude - you think I'm rude and so it goes on.

As I posted above, my main reaction would be concern (did present go missing?) or I'd assume that what I gave wasn't liked after all and that the good wishes inherent in sending a gift weren't sufficient to overcome it's short-comings. And I would, if I were thinking about it, be rather sad.

If you were the host of the wedding, then of course it is I who would write to you with thanks for the occasion.

I sent out my thank you cards nearly a year late...wasn't that I wasn't grateful I just had a hell of a lot of over shit going on. If she thanked you in person surely that was enough though

obviously I meant other not over. Have drunk a few glasses of

OP you didn't say wheher you had sent a card to thank them for their invite and hospitality.