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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want to bring DD (3) to a proffessional talk?

145 replies

MilaV · 07/07/2011 20:02

Reason in simple: both XP and my regular bsbysitting will be working at that time. The talk will be about my field, design, with a few prominent people giving their views. I really don't want to miss it, and then I remembered a friend who used to take his child to all places with her. I plan to go with DD and some colouring books and pencils. Of course if she makes noise we'll go out, but I'm quite nervous and at the same time excited about the idea of sharing this part of my life with her. Do you think AIBU? Think they won't let me in?

OP posts:

needanewname · 07/07/2011 22:55

Utterly ridiculous OP, you really cant see the problem can you.

To be fair though, you haven't told us what the presentation will be about, Cbeebies maybe, or toys, chocolate, colouring in! Really what exactly do you think she will gain from this experience?

HelloKlitty · 07/07/2011 23:00

For God's sake! How is sitting down quietly for an hour "very mean" to a 3 year old? I know mine is more than capable of that.

worraliberty · 07/07/2011 23:01

The last presentation I went to was about toilets

I went to 3 of the fuckers too

Sheilathegreat · 07/07/2011 23:02

My three year old would LOVE a presentation on toilets

ChristinedePizan · 07/07/2011 23:03

There is no way my DS could have sat for an hour when he was three without talking to me once. Generally to say something like 'why is that man wearing that funny hat?' or 'Is that lady fat or does she have a baby in her tummy'.

Perhaps you have scarily compliant and biddable children?

worraliberty · 07/07/2011 23:03

Sheila it was a load of shit

Actually they were kids toilets so she probably would have helped to pick the design

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 07/07/2011 23:06

Well, I find it pretty hard to sit without fidgeting for an hour during a presentation myself - do three-year-olds really manage that, or do you just forget how annoying what they're doing is?

(Serious question.)

HelloKlitty · 07/07/2011 23:08

Mine can. I'm not bulshitting and she's not a "sarily biddable child"either...she just knows when she needs to be quiet and she will look at her book or whatever is going on. SHe may whisper to me from time to time...but very quietly which is something adults do anyway!

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 07/07/2011 23:09

Ah, ok.

I think I'm thinking of a different kind of thing from you then Hello - the talks I've been to, you wouldn't whisper. Kind of draconian I suppose, but people are concentrating.

HelloKlitty · 07/07/2011 23:12

Oh whatever! You must be SO much more intelligent than me too!

wannaBe · 07/07/2011 23:13

haven't read whole thread but:

"but I'm quite nervous and at the same time excited about the idea of
sharing this part of my life with her."

you sound mad.

HelloKlitty · 07/07/2011 23:15

Because wanting your child to see some of your life is "mad" is it?

Goblinchild · 07/07/2011 23:20

Well, the boring bits that will go over a three year old's head, yes.
Now, if she'd said that she was a designer, and her child was helping her design something, or carrying tools or painting something, that's sharing a bit of your life.
In the same way my children helped out with craft/topic/science activities when I tested them at home,. but didn't sit in on staff meetings or INSET days.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 07/07/2011 23:21

Eh?

No ... and it's bugger all to do with that ... but it's about people's expectations. If there's a low-level buzz of whispering, that is much easier to concentrate against that one lone voice. Obviously.

I think it'd be nice if children were more accepted at professional events, but why think your little darling gets to come along and do something different from everyone else there?

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 07/07/2011 23:22

Double-post, but I just want to check I'm not going mad: it is normal not to expect people to whisper through a presentation, isn't it?!

needanewname · 07/07/2011 23:23

OMFG. There is plenty of time for the child to experience work, 3years old is not the time! Why is that so unreasonable for some people?

venusandmars · 07/07/2011 23:32

I'd agree LRD, wouldn't expect whispering. And even if there was, most adults would understand the social conventions going on and would normally whisper during (more) appropriate points, or expect to get a harsh stare from the presenter. Maybe we are all misreading the type of presentation OP is going to ?

fwiw I wholeheartedly think that work should be more family friendly for parents of children, carers of other family members, I loved being able to show my dcs where I worked, but the there are adult professional situations where there is work to be done, things to be concentrated on, times when it is not appropriate to take your little children.

DontGoCurly · 07/07/2011 23:33

Obvious troll is obvious.

PatriciaHolm · 07/07/2011 23:33

If people were whispering through a presentation I gave, I would be very annoyed.

But then people pay a hell of a lot of money to have me speak so they tend to pay attention!

It's possible, in some environments, taking the child would be OK. But not in any professional environment I've ever been in.

DontGoCurly · 07/07/2011 23:36

the modesty!

foreverondiet · 07/07/2011 23:36

Sounds like a bad idea. I have a 7 YO who can read and would sit quietly and read, and that might be ok. A sleeping baby might also be acceptable.

LRDTheFeministNutcase · 07/07/2011 23:38

That's why I posted as I did venus - thinking the OP might mean a different kind of presentation. If it's a chatty kind of atmosphere normally, it would be a bit different.

I think most people are pretty good at overcoming so-called 'disturbances' - but only if they know why they're happening and know it's not meant as rudeness. I would find it hard not to assume the OP meant it rudely to her colleagues, I'm afraid. (And I say that having just heard my mate saying how relieved she is she's finally finished the conference she helped organize - trust me, one extra person when the room was booked to capacity/one person insisting they'd 'just go out' in the middle of talks that were being filmed from a specific sight-line over the audiences' heads ... it would have really pissed her off!)

nailak · 07/07/2011 23:50

I know 3 year olds that go to talks and sit quietly, it is like when they go to churches mosques etc, they learn appropriate behaviour, obviously it depends on the child on how able they are to do this.

And although she nay not remember it, that doesn't mean it is a meaningless experience, otherwise we wouldn't do anything with our kids as they won't remember it?
You don't remember when you learnt 1 plus 1 is 2, however it still became part of your reasoning, seeing her mum in a different light would be the same?

If I was there I would be impressed that despite not having childcare at that time as it out of ordinary hours you were still determined to learn about your industry and that the talk was a priority in your life, and that you weren't prepared to let kids stop you from expanding your knowledge and experience.

worraliberty · 08/07/2011 00:00

But then people pay a hell of a lot of money to have me speak so they tend to pay attention!

I take it modesty isn't the subject of your talks?

PatriciaHolm · 08/07/2011 00:05

Nope ;-)

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