to not use bath products MIL has brought for the new baby?

[MadYoungCatLady]

It sounds a bit daft but please hear me out!

MIL-to-be has popped over today with bags of stuff for our new arrival, due at Christmas.

Its my 2nd DC, and I've decided to get on my high horse about bath products, especially those with SLS in. MIL has brought talc, baby wash, barrier cream, and 4 packs of wipes. I'm really touched by her gesture, she's obviously very excited about her new DGC! However, Ive looked the ingredients up, and the wash does contain SLS, and of course theres the advice against talc. DP knew I wanted to get natural stuff for DC, and he's obviously passed the message on because this particular brand (pretty common, but not the 'leading' brand) has on the front
"No harsh ingredients"

I really don't want to use it. DP does because his mum bought it. He seems quite offended that I've looked up the ingredients. I just want whats best for the baby, I dont want to offend anyone!

Its body wash ffs, not some keepsake we will keep for generations! I know when he baths baby he will use it. He will also keep tabs on it to make sure it doesn't get 'lost'.

AIBU?

I honestly don't think it's worth falling out with in laws and husband over bath products.

What Ozzie said. That way madness lies.

So just dont use it... she doesnt need to know that you havent used it. Send it to your eldest childs school for fetes etc.

Although sometimes, you never know what you might need if you run out of something, and it could come in handy.

Talc is only possibly dangerous if inhaled or used in intimate areas, but it is fantastic for stopping fungal infections in between feet for example.

Smile sweetly and say thank you to MIL - as you say it was a thoughtful gesture by an excited granny.
Empty MIL's bottle and rinse. Refill with your own preferred brand and no-one will ever know.

I wouldn't use it, my MIL bought one of those huge Johnsons baby boxes for our first DS and I didn't use any of the stuff in it.

I think you need to pass on particular brand names of stuff you will use that are not too expensive and easily available, like halo's n horns, if people want to buy bath products, as all of the big brands have really misleading "natural" or "pure" ranges that are full of crap, so it's quite hard for even well meaning people to know what to buy for the best.

Sainsburys do good eco wipes that aren't too bad by the way.

Just don't use them, and don't mention it. Your MIL obviously put some thought into it, and you're being a little over-emotional about something completely unimportant.

Are you sure your husband will bother to keep tabs on it? Surely he wouldn't give a toss about a bottle of shampoo and would forget about it within moments (well, he would have done if you hadn't made a big deal of it).

Oh dear... what happens in your family when there's a real problem?

Love piprabbit's suggestion!

I was given talc for DS. I use it under my mahoosive boobs

TBH I don't think it was even worth getting into a debate about with your DP. It's only bath products for goodness sake, i'd just use them them and when they are all gone buy my preferred choice. If you really feel that strongly about it though give them to a friend. I think your baby is more likely to be exposed to toxins through air pollution than a few baby products.

gruffalosgirl my MIL bought me one of those big Johnsons boxes too.

Its still sitting here intact 2 years later.

I much prefer to use Halos n horns orangey whatever it is on him.

OP this is really not a big deal. Your NIL is not going to watch you wash the baby and smell check him when she visits.

Just dont use it. End of.

'Empty MIL's bottle and rinse. Refill with your own preferred brand and no-one will ever know.'

god that's brilliant!

But if you're really worried, why use anything? Babies don't need soap really, and wet cotton is better than wipes for newborns. Put the stuff on a shelf for when baby is 'older' and needs it, it will probably be long forgotten by then.

If one accuses oneself of being on one's high horse, then one is BU.

My 3 DC are exzema prone so I am careful about what I use, however I tend to find my DH rarely approves of this kind of thing, he is very much a 'didn't do me any harm' kind of person. He rolls his eyes and thinks I am 'woo' if natural or organic are mentioned so I don't mention I just get on with it.
My MiL has presented me with a baby bath full of stuff with each new baby. I use the soaps in drawers and the linen cupboard, this is especially good as the baby will smell like you have used the stuff. I use the talc after swimming, contraversial I know but tights and slightly damp legs don't mix.
I use wipes and body washes and bubble bath for cleaning around the house.
If you really feel that strongly about it tip it away and refill the bottle with something you approve of, he will never know.

YANBU. We were given lots of Johnsons before DC1 arrived and I made up my mind that I would politely accept and never use them. She is an excited DG and anything else may offend. As it turned out DS has terribly dry skin anyway and we were advised only ever to use water and some lotion we were prescribed.

Like you say Talc isn't advised anyway. Would you be able to show DH some of the benefits of not bathing your lovely new LO?

Really hope your MIL agrees on your choice of feeding your baby. Will DP want you to FF so it pleases his Mummy?

YANBU to not use it, but you would be vvvvvvvv U to tell her.

"Will DP want you to FF so it pleases his Mummy?"

Where did that come from? Cut the poor MIL some slack, she just made a mistake with some shampoo.

Shatners was just being slightly tongue in cheek. OP's DP seems pretty wound up about the whole thing. My MIL and me differ on a great number of issues when it comes to bringing up the children and the ff was just one example of how things they may differ on in the future for the OP.

All the OP needs to do is accept the stuff and forget about it.

I think you're being a bit precious, but if it really bothers you then decant something you do like into the bottles/pots when no-one's looking. Job done.

Well, I wouldn't use the talc and I would perhaps try to tactfully explain to MIL why, in case shakes it on liberally while nappy changing when you are not there. Tell her you'll save it for when the baby is a toddler and hope she has forgotten about it by then!

As for the rest of it, I would have just quietly put it away in some never used cupboard and slung it a few months later, but, since DH knows, and is being offended about it, I agree with quietly rinsing out the bottles and refilling with your choice of products, then neither of them need ever know!

We were given quite a bit of Johnsons stuff, which I put aside when DS was a tiny thing and I was using water and organic lotion etc. Now he's older and turns out not to have sensitive skin I have used the Johnsons stuff.

So worth putting it to one side for the future.

I have never figured out what to do with talc though.

Not esp U, but very precious. And what is wrong with talc?

She tried to get you stuff that you could use, because she's got you a brand that says no harsh ingredients on the front, I would use it all except the talc which you could use for yourself anyway, Explain to your DH about the talc.

YANBU. We don't use anything on DS (nine months) in his bath, just water. When the time comes for lotions and potions, it will be SLS/paraben-free. I am lucky in that DH agrees, and our parents know we won't use Johnsons etc on our baby, so know not to bother buying it.

I would be polite but reiterate that you won't use it - else, MIL may buy you the same stuff again and again.

'No harsh ingredients' is just marketing lingo. If it has SLS and parabens, those ARE harsh ingredients.