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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

999 replies

Hullygully · 06/07/2011 12:29

OP posts:
CaptainHornblower · 17/09/2011 09:10

We dock in Madeira to reprovision in a few hours, ladies. Do be careful not to get in the way of crew. Though they seem an orderly bunch they get a mite feisty when there is shore leave in the offing.

MadameDefarge · 17/09/2011 11:16

I do hope mistress Fids is feeling somewhat recovered...shall we take a turn about the town and inspect the garrison?

minimammoth · 17/09/2011 12:48

Staggers forth< I have been too too caught up with the tango and now find we are traveling in the other direction>. My dear Miss Fidy I have only just caught up with your events. and I think we should set Umami upon him.
My dear Jins, I have done a bit of HRT meself, and although there are risks, I have to say it was fantastic, sleep, great hair, memory, after years of suffering. Now off but it saved me.
I will just nip off and check Mr Rochesters leg's kennel, back later.

Fiderer · 17/09/2011 14:50

"sleep, great hair, memory" - would that there were a tisane which could achieve the same! When we return to IPOAT Hall perhaps we should devote our energies to inventing one.

I am still reeling. The children too. They've been busy with school, friends and outings but still, I see it in their faces and how they are with me. They're out with h now, he came to pick them up, ignored me.

I now know that if I had reported it that evening, h would have had an automatic injunction (even though it was not a serious attack) to stay away from the house, from me and the children for 10 days, so am fuming with self for not having done it. He will be summoned to the police station but there will be no prosecution.
At least it has been recorded. That is important to me.

CheerfulYank · 17/09/2011 16:09
CheerfulYank · 17/09/2011 16:26

Fids !

Angry Angry Angry Angry

Jins · 18/09/2011 14:16

I'm so bored. Does anyone have a pamphlet I could read?

MadameDefarge · 18/09/2011 15:00

Jins, I plan to go to one of the secret afternoon drinking/dancing clubs where, contrary to popular opinion about Madeira, we can indeed tango to our hearts content with unshaven matelots...

Fiderer · 18/09/2011 15:48

Alas not many of those clubs around here. Cannot wait till we dock.

Had terrible cabin fever. I was unusually reduced to dragging Master Fid minor out around the vineyards for a walk. He was rewarded by some red grape juice, made 2 days ago. I treated myself to some new wine, still fermenting.

I take a lot of what we can enjoy here for granted. Am fed up of being glum and intend to get out and about more and do more with the Small Fids.

Jins · 19/09/2011 09:26

My matelot doesn't appear to be very durable.

Can I have another one please?

MadameDefarge · 19/09/2011 09:44

You've clearly scared the, ah , shirt off him, Jins.

Hullygully · 19/09/2011 09:55

Howya doin' Fidsy?

Mimi, what's happening with the cafe?

Why does every nice girl love a sailor?

OP posts:
Fiderer · 19/09/2011 17:32

Thanks for asking, Hully. Encouraged by the response here. Police and so.
Don't know what h's reaction will be. The last 3 years have been horrid, am reeling a bit and would like a break.
Hence IPOAT, you lovely lot.

minimammoth · 20/09/2011 08:13

Mornin' Me heartys . Gully in answer to your question, 'well you know what sailors are' or have we just exchanged a spy communication.
when will we strike land I wonder, my tango dress is quite shredded through practice and I'm running out of fake tan.
Fids.is a break possible for you.?
Ships biscuit with pate anyone?

minimammoth · 20/09/2011 08:15

Sorry Hully, about the Gully that is.

minimammoth · 20/09/2011 08:17

It must be being on board ship and coming over all nautical. Gulls y' see. Hmm,

Fiderer · 20/09/2011 10:23

No, but you've made me think about half-term which is coming up. Shall inspect the coppers in my rather battered money-box.

In the meantime you could teach me to tango. Anything not to have to eat any more of your ship's biscuits with paté.
Perhaps we could do exhibition dances and earn money to supplement my meagre allowance?

Hullygully · 20/09/2011 10:29

Tut

OP posts:
Fiderer · 20/09/2011 10:42

Hully can sniff out a wanton display of ankle from a 100 nautical miles. Impressive really.
Am off to work embroider in my cabin and put sequins on the dress Mistress Mini lent me

Hullygully · 20/09/2011 10:43

Tsk

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Hullygully · 20/09/2011 10:43
OP posts:
minimammoth · 20/09/2011 14:02

MadMe hehe shan't correct typo. Hully surely it will be good for the gels to learn new dance skills, the gavotte can be so unbecoming. And tango needs so much control. Altogether now...hold the frame.

Fiderer · 20/09/2011 17:34

Poop deck. 8 of the clock. Dancing Classes with Mistress Mini. Short dress, small heels, fake tan optional. Mistress Mini has engaged some of the crew to assist us in our moves. See how they're already polishing the deck for us.

Hullygully · 20/09/2011 22:07
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MadameDefarge · 20/09/2011 22:13

No fake tan! porcelain complexions only!

I recommend the waltz....a good half way housebetween gavotte and tango

As for the cafe. I am striving towards interesting ways forward..which all involve me getting some bloody money!

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