to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

[Hullygully]

oh deary me, my double ells and spelling all assunder as ormal. bloddy keyboard

Princess I was referring to the eejit that was inflicted upon poor Mimi in the "sexy love tap" era. :)

If I can let RL intrude for a minute (I know, I know) DS and I are having a hell of a time getting along lately. And he's only 4! I started a thread about it and if anyone wants to stop tatting for a second and stop by with advice it would be oh-so-very much appreciated.

cheerful, your use of "eejit" persuades me there is a Gallant Maid of Olde Englande residing in your thoroughly Minnesotan person...

Oh you have no idea! After being on Mumsnet daily for three years or so, I drop British English phrases hither and yon.

I have a friend who's studying abroad in Alnwick and every night she facebook chats me saying "can you please translate this?!" :o

Mimi, I meant to express regret that the Delightful Doc may prove less than satisfactory after all. But I must agree with you, I could no more pop out a little nino than than..somthing that is incontemplatable.

a pineapple, perchance?

Dancing doctor is a bit new to this dating thingy, so is at great pains to not cause me pain, but honestly, at this point in life, a "you are lovely but just not right for me" is perfectly fine! And I promise not a love tap in sight!

I kindly just dumped him

Still, maybe the delightful builder of high- loveliness and eco-plumbing might prove to be a good laugh, if nothing else!

Steady on now. Let's have decorum and not get too excited about having our ecos plumbed. Would the builder chappy be interested in erecting -his- the gazebo?

well, he has already intimated he might offer me a lifetime guarantee on my home....

but let's face it, its all about the gazebo, innit?

This might be just the thing for our lake. Useful for illicit trysts meditation should your builder be skilled in gazebo erection.

Mistress Sybil, your hat might have been useful as a spare sail on our voyage. That or a giant mustard pot. Am relieved you are reconsidering.

Talking of the voyage, when do we sail? And where to? Travel poultices need to be tailored to the climate. Mistress Mini and I need to know what we may be called on to treat. The Rash, the Itch, the Droop, the Scaly, the Swollen, to name but a few. These all vary from climate to climate.

Oh dear Miss Fid, your link was forbidden to me it must have been very naughty. I fear we will need plentyful supplies of anti sickness tisane, best prepare some stout canvass bags for the restraint thereof, there will be fluxes.
I occasionally have the odd hot flux myself eversince the everglades.

Eh? Tis a black and white photo of a gazebo, most tasteful, a pier, a lake... Nought else, nought naughty.

Must away to procure canvas bags and flagons of fluid. What with wine, tisanes, possets we shall need a cart full.

Shall visit the library later and see if the artist has other photographs which may be unsuitable for us. I am stout of heart and can investigate.

ECO PLUMBING!!!!!!

Dear Lord that's all composting toilets and reed beds. You'll need some pomanders as well as tisanes

I am some tastefull tatted pomanders that may be useful. What with dear Rochester's leg and the threat of eco plumbing, I fear we may be in sore need.

How doth thou, Mistress Jins?

Oh I'm mooching along. I'm awaiting some spurious blood tests and then I'll be referred.

Figs. Eat figs. I had such turribal constipation whilst in Furrin Parts (despite eating 8 figs, skins and all at a go), that I took one of my uncle's "safe and natural" tablets.

dear sweet lord.

Won't do that again.

I believe the eco-plumbing is ever so grand and costs amazing amounts. While the dear man clear has plans on fiddling with my own plumbing, I shall investigate further, methinks he might useful in restoring the fortunes of the Hall. We could at last afford an indoor commode!

We could generate electricity. Well you all could. My contribution would be negligible

For the first time in my life I have figs in abundance but I fear the Postal Services would flag under the weight and the figs would sadly no longer be edible by the time they arrived in your dwellings.

I am also a touch sentimental as I remember being delighted to discover 2 more fig trees I din't know I had. Now AH (ArseH) is here measuring and sizing up and unsettling the children although we agreed next spring as a possible, repeat possible selling date.
Figs are insignificant I know but it's hard being stoical in the face of Arseness.

I need IPOAT toughness.

GOODNESS! ISN'T IT LOVELY ABOARD THIS HERE SHIP THAT WE ARE ALL ABOARD NOW.

I believe the ultimate destination of SS Incomprehensible is Buenos Aires, but who knows what ports we may discover 'twixt here and there.

Steward! Bring me another Tom Collins and some fondant fancies!

I say, what a swell we are having, I do not recollect ever seeing such monstrous waters, and we have yet to leave port!

Is there any rum tisane?

I think we may be better off with a stiff whiskey and ginger Mistress Hully, 'tis very good for settling the stomach.

I see the ship's officers will be joining us for cocktails in the dining room this evening. I wonder if they have an experienced bar keep on board? If not I am sure Mistress Mini will be able to teach him a thing or two.

Speaking of eco plumbing, I chanced upon a steerage passenger having an al fresco moment earlier. Rather large chap he was...

All aboard who's coming aboard!

My. how the waves rise and fall so vigorously!

Has the captain invited any ladies to his cabin for dinner yet?

I don't believe the captain will be able to fit all of us into his cabin, capacious though it is I believe, I suggest the gels remain in our cabin and get on quietly with their tatting whilst us, more wise and experienced, ladies attend the captain.

I should hate the gels to venture forth and attract the attention of any rough jolly jack tar. We must protect their virtue at all costs.

I did meet a most helpful second marine lieutenant earlier who kindly offered to show me the ropes