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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

999 replies

Hullygully · 06/07/2011 12:29

OP posts:
PrincessFiorimonde · 01/09/2011 22:53

Dracul-Palanquin is a reference to a previous IPOAT thread. Previous knowledge is not required; you will not be marked down.

minimammoth · 01/09/2011 23:02

No indeed. Just pull up the chaise-longue and we'll get Wilkins to bring a relaxing tisane, put your feet up and heed not the pained yells from Mr Rochester's room.

FellatioNelson · 01/09/2011 23:05

Oh I see. It's an IPOAT thing. Ok, no wonder I don't get it.

Fiderer · 02/09/2011 05:33

The Hall was a veritable refuge last night. My thanks once again Gels.

H came back. Have decided that his being here so much this week, then the apple-picking, enquiring after dd's supper ("Didn't your mother feed you?") and sudden acknowledgement of bedtime, that there is no trouble with gf. Rather an after-effect of the mediation where it came up that he had no knowledge of the children's friends, activities at school etc. That he's hardly ever here and when he is, he does nothing with them.

If he stays more often, we may well need to increase production in the distillery herb-drying shed. And renew our acquaintance with the Regiment. I have a suggestion or two regarding bayonet practice.

Hullygully · 02/09/2011 08:52

Oh Fids. What you must do is take copious notes. One day it will make a marvellous story. And you're in Furrin Land so you can do a Year in Hell type thing a la Provence.

OP posts:
Fiderer · 02/09/2011 12:03

Remains only to be seen if the story turns out as comedy or horror.

Will share this and then will lock "The Story of Fids" in that worn chest in the corner of the IPOAT library and return dutifully to my tatting.

On the last IPOAT thread I mentioned the other one I was seeing after I split with h. He left his wife, asked me to marry him, I lost my heart. Should have had it padded with extra-strong tatting but after years with h it was like floating. It's not that I was more animated, more opinionated but that I could voice it more, was so at ease with myself, stronger, happy. Then he went back to his wife as he said he had to protect his children from the damage a separation would do to them.

I have often wondered if he was right, looking at my 3 now.

Am relieved that ds2 told me he was so upset he left the classroom yesterday, normally he'd have kept that bottled up. He said he heard h telling ds1 that it was his choice, he was old enough to choose if he wanted to live with me or his dad.

Ds2 was upset enough at his brother possibly leaving, but on his own behalf (again I'm relieved he voiced it) he's angry. H won't let him change his surname and told him he had to wait until he was 18.

Dd told me 20 times last night how much she loved me. She does that a lot but now it's more than usual, she sometimes leaves me notes in my briefcase, I leave them for her with her teddies or toys. Last night she added for the first time, "I love daddy too." I cuddled her and said, "Good. We both love you lots too."

One of the reasons H is angry with me is that he hoped I would go back to him when the other one finished it. He sees himself as the injured party although I had ended the marriage and never gave him any hope of a reconciliation. But there's a lot of anger and bitterness because he'd waited the 2 years I was seeing the other one. Explains why he also held on to the house and is now insistent we sell it.

Hullygully · 02/09/2011 12:43

Oh pore everyone.

H obviously emotionally inadequate and hopeless as well as arse, so he gets some pity too.

Where did he live after you ended the marriage and were seeing The Other One for two years? You surely weren't sharing the house for all that time...?!

OP posts:
Fiderer · 02/09/2011 14:42

Yes he gets some pity, he kept hoping without hope and I wouldn't wish that on anyone. It accounts partly for his anger towards me.

He moved out, said the children and I should have the house. Counted upon TOO not leaving his wife (was right there) and all would be as it had been.

Then last summer my dad died unexpectedly. My mum wanted h at the funeral so he came. What with 2 countries, repatriation (horrible term), volcanic ash, it went on for 2 weeks. We flew back here together with the children. H stayed on in the house, had hoped it would bring us together, it didn't.

Then he started with the "It's my house, I'm going to live here." Has been with his girlfriend for a year now. I hoped it would stop the vitriol.

Don't know whether to laugh or cry now. What a fucking mess.

minimammoth · 02/09/2011 17:57

Am off to the shed to find the dried monkshood and maybe a sprinkle of foxglove. Herb tea is so restorative
your H might enjoy.......

DrPolidori · 02/09/2011 19:24

I spent a lovely afternoon in the Botanical Gardens in Oxford...was rather taken by the Belladonna plants...full of juicy berries begging to be mixed into a healing tisane for Fids h. Just say the word!

Jins · 02/09/2011 19:34

"THE WORD"

God I'm so childish Blush

DrPolidori · 02/09/2011 19:51

am liking it!

Jins · 03/09/2011 13:47

Oh ladies I am fed up!

My GP is bloody useless and I am not convinced that any of the others in our godforsaken part of the world are any better.

Is there a tisane that will soothe my temper?

DrPolidori · 03/09/2011 14:31

I have a rather good tincture of maidenjuice that might hit the mark...

Hullygully · 03/09/2011 18:04

Useless how Jins?

In my experience tis best to go straight to A&E and scream.

OP posts:
Jins · 03/09/2011 18:27

Useless as in "despite the rather alarming and serious symptoms that you have described it is Friday afternoon and I don't really want to have to stay here any longer than I have to and do a referral.

Therefore I will put it down to age, ask you to monitor and tell you to come back if you have any worries. Which of course you won't because you will have gone to A&E screaming and they will deal with it.

Now fuck off there's a dear"

This is translated into IPOAT for clarity

Hullygully · 03/09/2011 19:18

Have you got symptons right now?

There are v few drs about over the w/e. If poss, go scream mon am.

OP posts:
Jins · 03/09/2011 19:30

Yeah I've rung NHS direct and despite the warning that non-urgent cases are on a four hour call back time I'm going to be rung within the hour

Feel pretty rubbish and OH is away for the weekend as well :(

Hullygully · 03/09/2011 19:48

Oh lovely, that is grim. Is there anyone around to hold your hand?

OP posts:
Jins · 03/09/2011 19:54

Just me at the moment. Sons are due back later. I've got neighbours to call on if necessary but I'm doing ok

NHS Direct have decreed that an out of hours doctor is required so I'm waiting for a call back from them now

Hullygully · 03/09/2011 21:03

Jins, I'm sorry for my intermittent attendance, I have people here, but I'll tune in as much as poss. Stay strong, you might need your strength for screaming in A&E.

I have had many terrible bodily things over the years, and one of the worst things is that you have to make the most effort when you feel at your worst. Sometimes tho, you really do have to scream. Also, remember this, the body is quite astonishingly resilient, and it wants to survive almost more than you do. Hope doc calls/ has called soon xx

OP posts:
Jins · 03/09/2011 21:10

Has called. Brought me in for an immediate appointment with a little blonde dragon who has basically said its all in my head and there's nothing that can be done on a Saturday night.

Hullygully · 03/09/2011 21:57

Are you in pain? If so, demand treatment.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 03/09/2011 23:49

Jins, I hope you're ok xx

OP posts:
Jins · 04/09/2011 07:37

I'm ok. Bath and bed.

Back to my own gp on Monday I think to insist on referral.

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