to be forced to marry into the house of Dracul-Palanquin?

[Hullygully]

s'alright I've made a new hiding place in furrin parts chat now

Honestly the IPOAT hall has become something of a refuge. We may need to increase production in the distillery herb drying shed though. We are really cracking through the gin.

deary deary me I fear I got lost in the woods, searching for herbs. A good <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=Legolas&um=1&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&channel=s&biw=1280&bih=610&tbm=isch&tbnid=YHt3ajcOXJx9gM:&imgrefurl=robertsnow.wordpress.com/2011/05/30/a-dragons-hoard-of-hobbit-casting-news/&docid=1pmi2E-WxnX8oM&w=1000&h=671&ei=PLhUTs2GJMfOswbUvZQV&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=965&vpy=125&dur=3108&hovh=184&hovw=274&tx=235&ty=80&page=1&tbnh=119&tbnw=161&start=0&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">woodman found me and guided me through, although the way was very tangles we were quite falling over each other. He is in the kitchen being ravaged refreshed.
Shove up the chaise Mimi dear. What is the world coming to. We must remain dignified . There are standards to uphold, we must think of the gels and Nigel. Has anyone ministered to Mr. Rochester he is pining for Madame Hully I fear?

Ladies...

Ahem. I fear Mr Rochester's leg is worsening, it seems to be forming a personality of its own, demanding a posset, and planning to scale the north face of the Eiger alone. It has also formed an unsavoury relationship with the cooks cat.
What to do?

How healthy is the cat? Is it a good influence?

That explains the mewling and howls from Mr Rochester's quarters. I thought he was pining for Mistress Hully and feared to interrupt his sad wailings lest he be embarrassed.

I never trusted that cat, it has a sinister look.
We must be vigilant. What could we use as a leg-calming and cat-repelling poultice?

Catnip tea perhaps. < scrabbles in herbal to find leg related plant>

Ah, that may be my fault. A pedlar came to the door while you were all at the gin taking a turn about the rose garden, and recommended to me the most fabulous unguent: 'Dr Vick's Vapourous Rubbing Liniment for Gentlemen'. It says on the label that it "Restores Vigour, Vitality and Vibrancy! Most Efficacious in Balancing the Humors, Clearing Congestion of the Lungs and Inducing the Emmanation of Efficacious Fluxes! May be used to treat disorders of the Mind, Chest, Liver, Lungs, Kidneys, Bones and Bowels". He said that I should rub it into the chest, and indeed was kind enough to provide me with a personal demonstration, but I thought perhaps it would soothe Rochester's leg. And, well, it did disguise the smell somewhat, but the cat has not left him alone ever since.

"Restores Vigour, Vitality and Vibrancy!" Perhaps I should try it on the Under-gardener. Although, given the cat's affinity for it, perhaps not. It would not be the best Rubbing Liniment for our Gentleman.
How has it affected your chest, Mistress Umami?

Well, it gave me a rather pleasant tingling sensation, though that may have been as much to do with the very thorough application as opposed to the product itself.

Should the pedlar return, shall I ask him if he would be kind enough to provide you with a product demonstration too, Mistress Fiderer? He seems a very obliging fellow, though a little rough around the edges.

'Rough around the edges' can be agreeable. It affords one an opportunity to educate and nuture.
I will selfessly test the pedlar product, in the interests of IPOAT Hall. The occasional pleasant tingling sensation is little price to pay for knowledge gained.
And is more than I felt with the Under-Gardener.

Or indeed "nurture". My eyes may have been affected by sight of the strong chest of the pedlar.

Have you been having the urge to lick your underparts, since the ointment's application Madam Umami? This product should be fully tested, perhaps we can replicate it in the herb shed. I wonder what it might do for the complexion, it might give everyone a <a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=glowing+complexion&hl=en&client=firefox-a&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&gbv=2&biw=1280&bih=610&tbm=isch&tbnid=PadyYsgYL3OprM:&imgrefurl=widbox.com/complexion/&docid=fKYj_F_vBpAHJM&w=300&h=450&ei=FdJYTrWKFoSh8QPO2JG0DA&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=308&vpy=73&dur=5786&hovh=275&hovw=183&tx=127&ty=178&page=2&tbnh=142&tbnw=95&start=20&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:20" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">'glow'. like this one I made earlier.

It might also encourage plants to grow out of your shoulder.

I am very envious of your pedler, the last one to offer to rub ointment into my chest looked like this. Somehow I found it in me to refuse.

The captain has heard tell of ferocious winds and storms heading towards IPOAT cove. He and his men are preparing to weather the tides in the cove but I wonder if this in fact herald the return of Mistress Hully? I know Mr Rochester has missed her.

Dear Ladies....how lovely to see you all!

I have another date! I ever-hopeful, this one seems very interesting. Has had a fascinating life, does Good Deeds for a living and can dance! Oh, and hails from far-flung parts....

Good deeds, Forsooth, dance ability a virtue indeed, and from Yorkshire. he sounds most promising. careful with that naan now.

Hope all goes well!

Well he is actually from South America, so ACTUALLY can dance!

I very much like the idea of a glow, Mistress Mini, although am rather more hesitant about the horticultural sprouting. Perhaps I am still gloomy after my disappointment with the Under-Gardener.

Dr Polidori - did you perchance venture to dance with your new Gentleman? In those forrin parts tis all voluptuous and sensual, I hear. That should bring one out in a glow.

well so far, he is lurvely. A Dancing Doctor! yes, we have had a little dance, and ahem, a little snog.