AIBU to want to keep my twins even though I am SP to 3 already

[Belini]

I am single parent to 3 boys 12, 5, 4 and am pregnant with twins. I was booked for a termination after long discussions with parents they said they would support me in whatever decision I made. So I decided to continue with pregnancy. Now parents and sisters and friends all say they think I am making a mistake. AIBU to 1. Want to keep my twins and 2. Be annoyed that everyone said they would be supportive until I make a decision they don't like. Much thanks and please don't hold back honest advice needed xx

LIFE say: Financial Help
If you're pregnant or have young children and are experiencing financial difficulties, we could help you. LIFE's Gemma Fund was set up to help pregnant women and young families experiencing financial hardship and can make one-off donations. You may also be worried that you can't afford the necessary equipment to raise a baby. LIFE can provide you with pushchairs, cots, highchairs, baby clothes and other items you might need.

Homestart are amazing. Could be just the lifeline you need/deserve, in terms of practical help.
Twins And Multiple Births Association- I would imagine you'd be entitled to the discounted membership rate, too.

Good luck (and thanks, moshchops!)

I cannot believe the judgements made on the OP about all kinds of things based on so little information, presumably because she's a lone parent. I find it all quite disgusting.

I read your parents saying they would support your decision, not support you in the bringing up of the twins and 5 children in total. That is a different offer.

That's how I read it, pingu. But mnetters never let that get in the way of a good judge.

update by op after being backed into a corner by parents, grandparents, sisters, aunties and anyone else mother decided to tell I was ruining my life. I found myself on a bench outside hospital on day of termination sobbing into the arms of the carpark attendant . I didn't go through with my entire families wishes instead I listened to my head and heart and chose to keep my two little jellybeans. I know now that everyone can have an opinion but I will be doing the hard work. so all my family are allowed is an opinion not a chance to make decisions for me AIBU?

So pleased, you did the right thing.

Belini good luck with your twin pregnancy and I hope your babies bring you much joy. Remember twins "twice as nice"

Thnkyou you are the first person to say so. I am sooo excited now but have no-one to be excited with everyone in RL are so angry with me.

Oh Belini, so sorry, you will be fine, they will come round. It will be hard work but you will cope. It is wonderful to have twins. Congratulations.

Good luck belini twins can be hard work but they are so worth it! Your family will most likely come round to the idea given time. Twins are fab..!!

I do hope so I don't fancy hanging my head in shame for the next seven months.

Aww..you have nothing to be ashamed about. You may have made a mistake but you have to go with what is right for you at times like these, others have to learn to put up and shut up!

Frankly, they can all fuck off. They are your little babies and you clearly love them. Teach them to be kind and respectful and we have two good people in the world. Congratulatuions xx

thankyou I will be going to bed for the first time in weeks with a smile on my face @ thought of telling family to put up or shut up/ telling them to fuck off xx

Night -night.

Night, Night.

Good for you OP. Hope you have a lovely, relaxing summer doing lots of stuff with your boys and the pregnancy goes well.

YANBU unreasonable for keeping your twins; you are not being unreasonable not to have heeded the wishes of your family. Insofar as your existing children are concerned and taking into account the fact that you are a single parent already you were very very unreasonable to have allowed yourself to get pregnant. It is really important that you get some advice in connection with relationships and contraception as soon as possible so that you do not repeat this again and if there is a next time, it is because you and a stable partner have made a conscious decision to bring another life into the world.

You need now to get lots of support and advice from all the agencies available to you. You need to ensure you are brining these two additional children into a world where you can provide for them and keep enough food on the table in a warm enough home. You need to make sure the lives of all your children are secure and safe and free from any risk of fostering as happened to you. Noone else has mentioned what to me seems obvious; you have done the right thing to keep the twins but if you feel ultimately you will not be able to care for five children have you thought about adoption? There are so many families for whom IVF has not worked who would so love to have children but despite saving for them and planning for them are simply, by nature, denied that dream.

Oh my darling girl.

YANBU. I think it would be horrible to go through an unwanted termination. I could never do it personally.

Your DSs are not infants and they will all be in school by the time the little ones are born, won't they? You were a mother at 13, and a decent one I presume, to have kept your son. You sound bloody tough and I think you can do this.

You've made your choice and you're entitled to do that. I think the naysayers on this thread and in your family need to back the feck off now.

Anytime you want to PM me, just to talk or anything, go ahead. And congratulations on your babies. Are you going to find out what you're having? :)

marriedinwhite I appreciate your comments and have previously stated that I was downright stupid to have gotten pregnant. I have plans in place to be sterilised after I have had these babies. My children will (not ideally) be brought up on benefits for the next couple of years however they will return this money when they grow up to be hard working adults as will I when I go back to work. There is no chance of my children going into foster care although I have nothing but good things to say about this time in my life I had wonderful foster parents and give them 100% credit for me still having my DS1 (i needed alot of help and support to start with). Although I feel desperately for those who struggle/cannot concieve I love these babies and will bring them up adoption is not an option.
cheerfulyank can I adopt you? My DS3 doesn't start school until Aug 2012 but attends nursery five afternoons a week babies are due in Jan although I will be expecting them to put in an appearance around Dec. I must have done something right with DS1 he is a wonderful boy and I have had no social work involvement since he was five. I am definately going to find out what I am having 1. because I have no patience for surprises and 2. I think it will make things easier financially as I have kept nothing from my previous DC except their shawls. sorry for long post xx

Congratulations OP [hgrin] (sorry just had to use the HP emoticon!) . Feel secure and happy in your decision and don't let others bring you down.

Congratulations!!!!! [hgrin] Hope your fanily come round soon. I'm sure they will do

GeekCool I am a hhuuuugggee HP fan as are DSs so loving the emoticons [hgrin]

I imagine your family are worried about you and hopefully will be more supportive once the babies feel more real to them. Good luck!

Belini, you are a very loving mum and so brave to stand up for your twins.

Your family will no doubt fall in love with the babies, you will be a proud mummy and they will need to cope with their guilt of having rejected them at first. Though, as human nature goes, they would have conviniently forgotten this detail by then
Congratulations and have a happy pregnancy and delivery.