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AIBU?

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Original poster

DP going on about my name being "common"

118 replies

ItsOnlyAName · 01/07/2011 13:15

Namechange as I'm revealing my real name in this thread.

So basically my first name is Tracy. DP always goes on about it saying it's such an awful name and makes me sound like a fishwife, drug addict or prostitute. He says his mum would NEVER have chosen a name like it for her daughters and keeps asking if I'm embarrassed by it and asks if I got bullied at school because of it. I don't like my name all that much either but I can't be arsed with the faff of changing it, it would take so long for everyone to revert to calling me something else and the paperwork, certificates etc - just not worth the hassle. But with him going on about it constantly it's making me really self concious, especially so as when I was 16 I was dating a lad who told me his mother had already decided I was "a bit rough" because of my name yet she'd never even met me (and never did come to think of it) !!

I don't think DP realises how much this is starting to get to me. AIBU to really kick off everytime he mentions it? it will cause arguments but he's never going to shut up about it otherwise.

OP posts:
RealityIsRoughlyTheSizeOfABoat · 01/07/2011 13:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ZZZenAgain · 01/07/2011 13:18

what's his name?

ashamedandconfused · 01/07/2011 13:18

whats HIS name,OP?

LineRunner · 01/07/2011 13:18

a) dump the undermining tosser;

b) James Bond's beautiful wife played by Diana Rigg was called Tracey. She was killed by baddies. Cue, 'We have all the time in the world', sob. It's a great name.

ashamedandconfused · 01/07/2011 13:18

LOL zen!

AMumInScotland · 01/07/2011 13:19

Instead of kicking off, I would tell him, calmly and clearly that this is my name, it always has been, and I am fed up of hearing him slag it off. So he is to STFU about it from now on, OK?

You can't slag off someone's name without it being hurtful - its who we are - and he needs to be told it loud and clear.

If he doesn't then stop, you need to think about why you are with a hurtful wanker.

VeronicaCake · 01/07/2011 13:20

Tracy Lord was the Katharine Hepburn character in The Philadelphia Story. You cannot possibly get posher than that.

So he's rude and wrong.

bubblesincoffee · 01/07/2011 13:20

No, yanbu to kick off about it.

Tell him straight, you will not take that kind of insult on a regular basis. If it's really starting to get to you then it amounts to abuse. He knew your name when you got together, if he didn't like it to that extent, he should have stayed away in the first place.

He sounds quite horrible tbh. I'm sure we all have little things about our dp's that aren't perfect, but most people wouldn't change a thing about the person they love because that simply isn't what love means. And loving someone means not saying or doing something that is hurting them.

SuePurblybilt · 01/07/2011 13:21

Well if you don't like it, do you have a middle name or nickname that could be used every day without the faff of deed poll?

But the point is - change it if you want to. Your DP sounds insecure, snobbish and a bit of a twunt tbh.

Shodan · 01/07/2011 13:21

Good Lord.

I cannot even begin to imagine being with a man who behaved like this.

If you really want to stay with him (and I can't understand why you would), may I suggest investing in a cattle prod and jabbing him with it every time he makes derogatory remarks about you?

southeastastra · 01/07/2011 13:21

tracey emin - cool
tracey chapman - cool

AKMD · 01/07/2011 13:22

That is such nasty behaviour - is he like this in other areas? I would sit him down and have a proper conversation about how much this is affecting you. If he isn't suitably embarrassed, sorry and changed, I would have serious doubts about a man who undermines your confidence in this way.

iklboo · 01/07/2011 13:22

Tell him 'Your mum only called you X because the registrar wouldn't let her put her chosen Native American name of "grows up to be a c*nt".

'D'P? Really. Presumably he knew your name when you first started going out?

hester · 01/07/2011 13:22

Your dp is being a twat, isn't he? Is he otherwise loving and charming, or is he using this to have a dig at you? Does he often look for little ways of hurting you while pretending he's just having a joke? Because this is massively rude. I'm not overfond of my dp's name (not a zillion miles from Tracy), and I'm also not in love with my adopted dd's name, but because I love them both I have grown quite fond of their names. By teasing you, your dp is sending a message that he too finds your name a bit too common. Which is horrible on so many levels.

I wouldn't kick off, but I would tell him, calmly but firmly, that you are not finding this funny and that you would like him to stop. If he starts saying it's only a joke, where's your sense of humour, just reiterate that you don't like it and that if he has any respect for you he will hear that and just stop.

Incidentally, I have always liked the name Tracy. I know it has an 'image' but so what: it's very pretty. There's some classy Tracys out there: think Tracy Thorn.

ZZZenAgain · 01/07/2011 13:24

well according to wiki name.com:

"ORIGIN AND HISTORY

Although Tracy has a legitimate English etymology, it was most likely originally a surname having Norman (French) baronial roots? a name from locations within France called Tracy or ?place of Thracius.?

Earlier than with many other names that made the surname-to-first name transition, Tracy was used as a male given name in some English noble families. Its appeal broadened to females and was occasionally a familiar form of the first name Theresa."

lubberlich · 01/07/2011 13:24

Sounds to me like he has found your weak spot and keeps on and on about it because he knows it rattles you and affects your self esteem.
Your DP is a dickhead.
Find something about him - his spotty arse, his ugly sister - and give him some of his own medicine. Or better still find someone nice and kind to spend your life with.

harassedandherbug · 01/07/2011 13:25

That is really nasty and spiteful!! I'm constantly amazed by the things some men (and I'm sure women) say to people that they're meant to love.

Incidentally, I know two Tracy's! One is an unbelieveably strong single mother with her own small business, and the other is a very well respected solictor.

LaurieFairyCake · 01/07/2011 13:26

Get rid.

It's that bloody simple.

LineRunner · 01/07/2011 13:27

Classy Tracy/Tracey round up time:

Thorn
Emin (well, she's ... classIC)
Chapman
Lord (played by Hepburn)
Mrs Bond (played by Rigg)

It's often short for Theresa. It's lovely.

ZZZenAgain · 01/07/2011 13:29

From another website, with some other possible origins:

"Tracy meaning and name origin

Tracy \t-ra-cy\ as a girl's name (also used as boy's name Tracy), is pronounced TRAY-see. It is of Irish and Gaelic origin, and the meaning of Tracy is "warlike". Also possibly a nickname for Theresa (Greek) "late summer" or derived from a Norman French place name based on a Gallic Latin personal name, Thrax or Thracius, whose meaning has been lost. The character Tracy Lord, played by Katherine Hepburn in the 1940 film "The Philadelphia Story", made the name popular. "

It is just a baby-boomer name and was widespread at one time

How do you like that Celtic meaning "warlike"?

ProfYaffle · 01/07/2011 13:30

Shock Flippin' heck, I'm a Tracey (extra 'e' more classier Wink) I wouldn't have got past a first conversation with this tosser. It's nothing to do with your name, if it wasn't the name he'd find something else to pick at.

LineRunner · 01/07/2011 13:31

Thunderbirds are go!!

Kewcumber · 01/07/2011 13:34

Oh yes Hester - Tracey Thorn indeed.

Tell its not common, its "popular". Its his response to it thats common.

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet.

I don;t even know what he;s like and he's irritating the shit out of me!

ZZZenAgain · 01/07/2011 13:35

not keen on him either

lazarusb · 01/07/2011 13:37

He needs to grow doesn't he? Tell him to keep it zipped and stop criticising you and your parents. He has no right, no matter what your name is.