DP going on about my name being "common"

[ItsOnlyAName]

Namechange as I'm revealing my real name in this thread.

So basically my first name is Tracy. DP always goes on about it saying it's such an awful name and makes me sound like a fishwife, drug addict or prostitute. He says his mum would NEVER have chosen a name like it for her daughters and keeps asking if I'm embarrassed by it and asks if I got bullied at school because of it. I don't like my name all that much either but I can't be arsed with the faff of changing it, it would take so long for everyone to revert to calling me something else and the paperwork, certificates etc - just not worth the hassle. But with him going on about it constantly it's making me really self concious, especially so as when I was 16 I was dating a lad who told me his mother had already decided I was "a bit rough" because of my name yet she'd never even met me (and never did come to think of it) !!

I don't think DP realises how much this is starting to get to me. AIBU to really kick off everytime he mentions it? it will cause arguments but he's never going to shut up about it otherwise.

yy Dwayne!

Or A-A (adasha)

Bet it's Nigel. My ex was Nigel. He was also a twunt.

Sorry OP, this seems to me to be about more than 'Tracy is common'. You say you don't particularly like your name, and I presume this might have come up in conversation sometime with your partner. So he knows it's something you feel a bit sensitive about.

So as I see it, if he keeps going on about something he knows you're sensitive about - which means it's all about getting to you. If there had been another 'tool' available, he'd have used that instead. I think you need to talk this over with him and get to the bottom of why he's having such a constant dig at you.

Your DP for example is a tosser. Tell him if your name embarrasses him, he should fuck off.

I don't get this man but it is true we often have a perception of someone based on the name and how we assess it. Let's say you received a list of fellow participants on a workshop and amongst them was the name Tracy Jones, do you assume she is posh?

How about Miriam Jones? Could be anything status-wise IMO. Lavinia Jones - is she likely to be working class?

Oh OP, pleeeeeease give us a hint about his name. Is it something marvellously middle class?

My name's Sharon. Even though it's supposedly such a common name, there were no other Sharons in my year at school, (about 200 pupils) and I only met or heard of a couple of other Sharons during my childhood/adolescence. When backpacking I met quite a few Sharons from Israel who were surprised and really pleased to meet someone with their name and a couple actually said "Sharon's a name from Israel, I didn't expect someone from another country with that name." People from other countries often say it's a lovely name. I really like it, I think it sounds lovely.

So what I'm trying to say is don't let yourself be so influenced by popular culture at one particular point in history. And by such a stupid tosser. I would never let someone run me down like that, never mind my own dp!

Hmm, red flag indicating nasty little shit.

How wearing for you. The best you can hope for is that he's one of those highly immature characters who think that endless teasing passes for humour.

Otherwise, nasty little shit. Not good. Very mean spirited.

Have a serious think about whether you want to keep him. But in the meantime, a satisfying comeback would be a puzzled look and 'Why are you so insecure about this? Has someone been teasing you about my name? I don't think you should worry, really. I quite like my name actually, maybe you could try toughening up a bit?'

I think (amatuer psychologist hat on) that he feels inferior to you in some way. Are you more popular, more attractive etc than him? This is his way of trying to balance that for himself.

Your DP is being a fucking twat.

I have to admit I wasn't wild about DH's name when we got together. It's one of those generational slip things - by rights it should be a man 30 years older than DH.

But as the poster upthread said, he's my DH and I love him and I've come to love his name too.

That said, not sure I could bear Custardo's burden of being Mrs John Wayne Gacy or Mrs Charles Manson or whatever it is.

He sounds like the kind of man who wouldn't have a problem with telling you you look a little fat or old or frumpy or not as sexy as the neighbour's wife If he is get rid or he'll destroy your self-esteem.

OMG
Mrs Charles Manson

I have been wondering about that name...

its all a bit like cassandra insisting on calling rodney roddy, so that she can pretend he/she are trendy isnt it :)

when in reality she just comes across as pretentious

I have known loads of Tracys and Traceys and, while this kind of shows that it was a popular name a few years ago, it doesn't mean that there is anything wrong with it. I have met thin, fat, fraightfully posh, dead common, brainy, dim, nice, horrible, streetwise, naive, black, white,

Look, the next time he says it just punch him really hard in the face. He'll get it.

Continued...

Etc people with your name.

He is being a twat and using it to put you down.

Don't change it: he'll just find something else to pick on you for.

Does he do this sort of thing a lot? Is he mean to small children, animals etc? Is he a poor loser at games?

Hully

dump him unless he has some other fantastic qualities that make up for him being a petty twat over your name.

he's being a thoughtless pratt.. Tell him to stfu next time and tell him he's being hurtful...

Don't change your name.

Change your DP... to one a little less mean, and a lot less shitty.

one word for this guy 'twat'