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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DP going on about my name being "common"

118 replies

ItsOnlyAName · 01/07/2011 13:15

Namechange as I'm revealing my real name in this thread.

So basically my first name is Tracy. DP always goes on about it saying it's such an awful name and makes me sound like a fishwife, drug addict or prostitute. He says his mum would NEVER have chosen a name like it for her daughters and keeps asking if I'm embarrassed by it and asks if I got bullied at school because of it. I don't like my name all that much either but I can't be arsed with the faff of changing it, it would take so long for everyone to revert to calling me something else and the paperwork, certificates etc - just not worth the hassle. But with him going on about it constantly it's making me really self concious, especially so as when I was 16 I was dating a lad who told me his mother had already decided I was "a bit rough" because of my name yet she'd never even met me (and never did come to think of it) !!

I don't think DP realises how much this is starting to get to me. AIBU to really kick off everytime he mentions it? it will cause arguments but he's never going to shut up about it otherwise.

OP posts:

kreecherlivesupstairs · 01/07/2011 16:12

I know a shed load of Tracey Tracy and even one Tracie. We were all at school in the 70's. It isn't a horrible name at all (although one of the Tracy firm sticks out in my mind due to an incident with a condom).
Your DP is being a turd of the highest water. My lovely DH has a dreadful name. I didn't believe it when I heard it, he was called after his uncle.
Even after 24 years of marriage, I say it as little as possible. I wouldn't ever say it was old git like or 70s comedy. It is his name full stop.
He knows I think it is a wank name though.

melikalikimaka · 01/07/2011 16:15

I know a few Traceys and they are all nice women. Also like a few Debbies and Sandras.

How can anyone make assumptions?

usualsuspect · 01/07/2011 16:16

Hes sounds like a dickhead

I really want to know his name though

melikalikimaka · 01/07/2011 16:18

Dickhead, maybe, I think we have all changed his on here!

GwendolineMaryLacey · 01/07/2011 16:21

The more of these threads I read, the more I thank the Lord that I met DH. I cannot imagine living with a man who has so little respect for me.

Tell him his name embarrasses you so you've decided to change it to Fuckwit.

Tchootnika · 01/07/2011 17:10

Dick Tracey?
I mean, he sounds like a bit of a dick, Tracy.

MoonGirl1981 · 01/07/2011 17:31

When I think of the name 'Tracey/Tracy' I think of cool kick-ass women who take no shit from anyone! People running huge companies in power suits etc. I would never associate it with being common.

Ditch your partner, he sounds like a knob.

CheerfulYank · 01/07/2011 17:49

I just laughed til I snorted at Hully's "just punch him really hard in the face." :o

I think Tracey is fine. Just tell him to knock it off.

Bast · 01/07/2011 17:52

He says what?

Can't believe you've let him say it to you more than once.

I, personally, think it's 'common' to display such poor etiquette and manners as to berate someone's name

ensure · 01/07/2011 17:52

I know three Tracey/Tracys. They are all fab. One is super posh.
Tell your P to fuck right off. He sounds like a loser.

TrilllianAstra · 01/07/2011 18:03

It doesn't matter how fab or not common or posh anyone else's Traceys are.

Your DP is being a fuckwit.

You could be called Char-Donnay and he would still be being an utter twat for behaving like this.

Although given that you haven't been back it's possible that you are doing an anti-babynames post because you or DP are considering Tracey for your child and you want to see if it is thought chavvy.

Tangle · 01/07/2011 18:11

He says his mum would NEVER have chosen a name like it for her daughters and keeps asking if I'm embarrassed by it and asks if I got bullied at school because of it.

I'd be tempted to comment that your mum would NEVER have brought up her son to be so hurtful and inconsiderate as to continually insult the woman he's meant to love, to ask if he's embarrassed by his behaviour and to ask if he was a bully at school as he seems to be acting like one now.

Don't change your name unless you really really want to for yourself. If your "D"P can't see how unacceptable his behaviour is then I'd be seriously reconsidering your relationship (and I'm really not a one for crying "leave the tosser" at the drop of a hat).

ChaoticAngelinLimbo · 01/07/2011 18:15

Haven't read all the replies so may be repeating what someone has already said. Your P is both a twat and common. Nobody with any class would ever comment negatively on your name, no matter what they thought of it.

LolaRennt · 01/07/2011 18:17

What an arse, your name is a part of who you are. Would he tell your ass was fat or your nose was crooked and should be fixed so you don't look common?

Becaroooo · 01/07/2011 18:18

He sounds nasty and spiteful.

My cousins wife was called Tracey and did actually change her name via deedpoll - but because she wanted to!

PotPourri · 01/07/2011 18:20

You need to tell him it is hurting you. It is nasty and unnecessary. If yuo tell him and he keeps doing it then you need to tell him that you can't be with someone who deliberately hurts you

Becaroooo · 01/07/2011 18:21

oh, and his mother sounds like a real peach too!

PenguinArmy · 01/07/2011 18:22

you don't have to like something, but there's no need to be dick about it.

What an arsehole

PaintedToenails · 01/07/2011 18:31

Tell him to STFU or to GTFO.

What a cock.

clam · 01/07/2011 18:32

How long have you been with him? See, for me, I would have kicked him in the bollocks dealt with it the very first time he even looked like he was thinking about taking the piss. How have you tolerated it this long?

clam · 01/07/2011 18:33

Lucky I previewed that last post. I'd written licked instead of 'kicked!'

BumWiper · 01/07/2011 19:00

Bet his name is Richard cause he sounds like a dick.A bullying dick at that.

Jux · 01/07/2011 20:23

Call him Murgatroyd if he's so posh, unless he's actually called Murgatroud, in which case call him Bogey for short.

Timmy-Wimmy would work well too.

carabos · 01/07/2011 20:34

The marchioness of Worcester (next Duchess of Beaufort) is called Tracey. Does it get any posher than that?

blackeyedsusan · 01/07/2011 20:37

he is insulting your mum? tell him his mum can't be that great either because she has brought up her son to be rude and offensive... see how he likes it..

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