AIBU to wonder why any woman would identify herself as....

[seeker]

.....not a feminist?

Heh, Lenin, you're just bot unreasonable enough.

bot? not!

It all makes me very sad

Variety is the spice of life Hullygully, don't be sad.

Yes pale and interesting is good - that's been my mantra since we haven't been able to afford a hoilday.

( I'm not really into spray tans )

On a more serious note, still no one has told me why not calling yourself a feminist is so wrong? And why anyone who doesn't identify as a feminist is automatically assumed to be against feminism?

Hello - I never thought I would prefer a thread to be on AIBU, but there you go. It?s been a rollercoaster of a ride, this thread.

I consider myself to be a feminist. I have encountered discrimination and I dislike how my DD will have to work harder to succeed than my DS. I was lucky enough to study philosophy of feminism, work with some truly brilliant women on a feminist critique of religious texts, although I?ve not take that further in my actual career. I mentor teenage girls through the local education business partnership to encourage them to consider further and higher education and careers that perhaps wouldn't have even crossed their mind. I go into schools as part of a project to encourage girls into what are traditionally male careers as I work in a very male dominated industry. I could go on.

However; I do not believe that all ills of the world are caused by the patriarchy, I do not believe there is only one way to be a feminist and I do not identify with some of the posters on the MN feminism board, especially those who believe the best way to encourage, teach and develop an understanding of feminism is to attack, belittle, insult and call misogyny anything that does not adhere to their rather narrow world view.
I do believe that women have a responsibility for their own lives, that feminism is for everyone and the way to keep the movement going is to educate and challenge through debate, not insult.

If my only encounter with the feminist movement was the MN Feminism boards, then I would probably not identify myself as a feminist. Luckily it?s not, but it does make me wonder about the impact on those for whom it is.

Right, now I've had enough of being serious, I'm off back to chat to talk bollocks.

I am also surprised that I would much rather have it on AIBU.

I finally got around to watching 'Made in Dagenham' tonight and it confirmed my view that I am most definitely a feminist.

(I think however that I prefer a patriarchy to a matriarchy- as run by some of the extremists-that really would be hell! )

I think that it is good that it is being read by people who keep away from feminist threads-and it was a huge mistake to change.

Big Ears was my favourite, HRH, thanks :)

I share Hully's sadness - well, I don't actually know what Hully's sad about; scrub that! I do feel cross, and let down, that feminism is still being led (in popular perception anyway) by very angry, narrow-minded women who do a very good impression of seeing Men as The Work Of The Devil. It scares ordinary women away. Ordinary women, these days, have a broadly feminist consciousness. The work is NOT complete, but the foundations have been laid. The whole point of "our" (old feminist bags') work was to put those foundations down, so women would get the tools to do the rest. This has happened, more or less.

What I didn't expect was the current double-pronged attack on female confidence: sexual objectification/trivialisation of women's bodies, assisted on the other side by feminists putting other women down and making demands without plans. I am a radical feminist by all the usual standards but I can't associate with this ... vapid anger, shapeless whingeing and unsisterly belittlement that passes for rad fem in 2011.

Back in the seventies & early eighties, when women's rights were far beneath mens', I went to meetings with feminist leaders. Many of them were rude & patronising to my friends and me. They picked on us for our personal choices (wearing makeup and heels, as you do at 18) and our lack of awareness. They were right in some respects - I learned a lot of very important stuff from them, and went on to help bring about real change - but they were wrong to blame us, and wrong to treat us bitterly.

Now I'm seeing this same bitter blame, but without the drive, the logic or the direction. All it does is alienate ordinary women. Feminism can't afford to alienate women. Our position is too tenuous; our gains too recent. The whole thing is fragile. It can be blown away so easily - and, if it is, the failure won't be down to ordinary women. It'll be the fault of those feminists who consider themselves superior to women, and who have let their anger pollute the honesty in the message.

Having started your own dittany, you can all have a cosy, agreeable chat and call it 'debate'.

Glad I came back to see garlicnutters post.