AIBU to wonder why any woman would identify herself as....

[seeker]

.....not a feminist?

Unfortunately, it is usually faulty logic or emotional bias that leads a lot of people there. Then many have the gall to espouse a point of view like parrots.

'blindly followed'

Oh yes.

If 6 people read the same book I would expect 6 different interpretations, some may be similar, some may be completely different but I wouldn't expect everyone to interpret it the same way-otherwise it may as well come with a set of notes-'this is what you should get out of it'.(if you don't you are stupid)

Yes - it's their refusal to move an inch that's a little worrying - nothing is ever completely black and White - absolutely nothing. But to some of them it is and that shows a total lack of maturity imo. I've never met a woman in my life ( and I'm 41) who isn't able to understand other points of view or has a mind so set in dogma they're trapped. I feel a bit sorry for some of them.

I am almost tempted to name change and go on saying 'you are all wonderful-I'm so glad I found you' and see what sort of experience I get -I bet it is very, very different and I will suddenly be an intelligent 'free thinking woman'. (it's OK I won't test it.)

Having had time to have a proper look it was my second link, seeker on family heirarchy that got down to 'them v me'-the fear of men was more balanced.

Personally, I don't think enough men are educated about what is actually happening inside feminist circles. Could you imagine how shocked many of them would be if they knew all the bad mouthing they receive?

I even have a problem with some of the men who actually think that by giving up everything to women that the world would be a better place. I don't know about you, but my personal relationships with women have proven that they can be just as viscous and conniving as any man. At least we are equal in that regard, right?

i think that there's something very intimidating for most people about identifying with an 'ist' label.

i sometimes say i am feminist, but not often, i am not comfortable with it - but i will say something offends 'the feminist in me' or 'my feminist principles'.

i feel the same about the term 'environmentalist'. i feel strongly about the environment, i study sustainable development, i take part in conservation work, i vote for the green party.... but i am still uncomfortable saying 'i am an environmentalist'.

to me the statements 'i am a feminist' and 'i am an environmentalist' are both setting myself up to fall short, because i am not strong enough to fight for both causes every minute of every day and i often let anti-woman or anti-environment behaviour that i see slide.. i am not big enough or strong enough to be what i consider a 'proper' feminist or environmentalist and so i would feel hypocritical if i called myself either.

does that make sense to anybody else?

That's just the thing, most of this "its" assume that EVERYTHING you do has to reflect on society on a whole. The whole idea of making the personal into something political only leads to more state control of everyone, which is why the state usually supports the feminist initiatives. It's nothing more than socialism and communism disguised in sheep's clothing in the end. Why not just take it easy, address those concerns you feel most attracted to and leave it at that? If you think women are wronged by something then speak out. If you think men are wronged by something then do the same. But you don't have to do one at the exclusion of the other. That's just another form of discrimination.

yep it does fluffles.
well-im not the perfect feminist[is there such thing-probably not]
and theres times that i have to put up and shut up.
we can only do our best in whatever circamstances we are each in!
i dont feel that im a hypocrite for having to do this-i could get beat up!!
by the way-im confused-has this thread been moved to feminism?

Fluffles; it made perfect sense.

I'm still unsure of most things - just when I think I've worked it all out something happens and I'm right back to square one.
I'll never be perfect.

I didn't notice it had moved! Thanks for the heads-up, Sparky.

hang on-im really confused now garlic-has it has it been moved or not?[said kindly]

fluffles - that makes perfect sense to me to but then I think that on that basis nobody should be calling themselves a feminist. None of us would measure up all the time. Not sure that is a bad thing though.

Why was this moved this to the feminism section?! I suddenly feel like I should withdraw for being a fraud and not the real deal feminist!

TinaLeena, I have a big problem with the 'required belief' that women would make everything all lovely, there'd be no war or genocide, etc, etc. Look at Winnie Mandela, Martha Stewart, Rose West and the de Jesus Gonzales sisters, Ulrika Meinhof (all murderers except Stewart, as they're easier to check on Google than financial & political scammers.) And, as you said, we've all been bruised by mean and selfish, ruthless women in ordinary life.

Patricia Pearson, author of "When She Was Bad: How and Why Women Get Away With Murder", says "women commit the majority of child homicides in the United States, a greater share of physical child abuse, an equal rate of sibling violence and assaults on the elderly, about a quarter of child sexual abuse, an overwhelming share of the killing of newborns, and a fair preponderance of spousal assaults."

I have no idealogical problem with this; I believe women deserve an equal bite of the cherry, whatever we do with our opportunities. But I really, really resent the female gender stereotype of caring, sharing, peaceful, efficient ... victims.

Lenin, it's been said frequently on this thread that most of us prefer to discuss feminism and feminist issues outside of this board. Because we feel bullied and are pissed off with it. What the Feminist regulars do with that information (if anything) is up to them.