to not want to help someone to live after my death?

[dolldaggabuzzbuzz]

I am on the organ donor register. I am willing to donate all my organs to those who may need them in the event of my untimely death.

However, if the new system of presumed consent is brought in, I am opting out. I can't explain why I feel like I do about this. Am I being unreasonable?

I know I should have registered sooner, especially as donor skin was used to stabilise DD3's wounds, which works in a way far superior to most treatments, epsecially as the family of the child in the next bed who didn't make it found comfort in the fact that "6 other children now have a chance", but am a mess of depressions, anxieties and phobias and just couldn't think that way. But seeing Eggy and Shabba's posts, something just clicked and whirred deep in my neurotic brain.

Today I woke up and saw it is a beautiful day.

Funny how just a few words on a screen can change a long-held perception, just like that.

DH and I had the talk after I'd registered, and he's long been of the "well, I don't bloody need it anymore, give it to someone who does" persuasion.

Having said all that, I do understand the OP's rile at the opt-out, as it does seem a bit "we own yr ass", and can totally understand people who just can't think about it ,because I certainly couldn't get my head around it. Let each of us reach our own epiphany in our own time.

Oh ladies I wish there was a 'like' button on here like there is on Facebook!!!

Luna your words speak volumes.

So basically you'd be willing to give an organ when its something nobel and special that not many people do - but when it goes mainstream you don't want to know? This isn't a cool, hip underground band we're talking about, its saving lives. You are being very, very unreasonable and kind of juvenille.

Think this is to do with taking away freedom of choice.
Wanting to do / volunteering to do something is fine but when told you have to then it's a different matter.
Another little gem from what is fast becoming a dictatorial nanny state where common sense has been replaced by health and safety etc.

noir that's not it at all, and it's you that's being rather juvenile. Try reading some of the posts.

Shabba, I am thinking of you today you are just amazing and every time I think of what you have been through I get very teary. You and Eggy are the kind of people who have saved lives like mine. I can completely understand what people are saying in the way that most people haven't thought about or don't like thinking about death, I'm sure that is a natural thing. In fact, when I think of anything happening to my little boy I just can't imagine what it must be like. A life is a life at the end of the day, but to lose a child and have to make that decision must be just heartbreaking. When I go to my transplant clinic at the hospital I see so many desperately sick people waiting for a transplant. I am one of the lucky ones. I think if there was more education around organ donation people may understand the process more. I didn't know anything before and I know there is a school of thought that doctors do not do everything they can to save a life if there is the potential for organ donation but this is simply not true. With regards to presumed consent, I am not sure about this - I had my life saved by the amazing thing a grieving mother did on behalf of her teenage son and she knew that was what he would have wanted but I'm not sure how it would be to receive organs from someone who would have been against it but failed to opt out. I am going out now but will be back later this afternoon and will be interested to catch up then.

Er, no, I think noir cut throught the bullshit and hit the nail on the head.

To put the niceties of 'being asked'/'having to object' above the life and death of another person is ridiculous.

And it's not about taking away freedom of choice. People who don't want to donate can still opt out!

What it's about is all those people who don't really care one way or another, or just haven't got round to getting a donor card. The current system presumes these people want their organs thrown into a hole in the ground to rot. Why not presume to save some lives instead?

I suppose there will be people who would have been against it but failed to opt out.

If they didn't bother to opt out then they can't have felt that strongly about it, so why put that above the life and death of another person?

Presumed consent is not the Governments way of harvesting organs or controlling the body of the general public. It is purely trying to save lives. Those with people who have been or who are on the organ donation register will know how angonising the wait is.

I understand the anger but I feel it is misplaced. That is why the OP is ridiculous. The OP thinks it is important to donate organs, hence joining the register, but will removed themselves due to presumed consent - which was designed to save more lives .

Countries where presumed consent already exists have much shorter waiting lists and it works wonderfully. The government are trying to protect the people on the register and give them more of a chance based on a system that works. The Governmnet aren't interesting in taking consent for people just because they can - it is about the bigger picture.

Take yourself off if you don't believe in organ donation. It's simple. But for all those people who don't have an opinion either way, or just never had the time to put themselves on the register, this is ideal.

I am for presumed consent (obviously) I've had DH have two heart attacks whilst on the register and in the end I donated an organ to help as the waiting list was quite long and I was worried I would lose him whilst waiting. I've known children die waiting for organs and it scares me, as they have the same condition as DS. One day DS will also be on the register, so I want to do everything possible to ensure those on the list get the best possible chance.

I'd rather the government took control and presumed consent for everyone, than lose a loved one whilst waiting for that vital phone call.

Yes you are.

I don't think it should be compulsory, but if the law was that if you are not a donor you cannot be a receiver, I wonder how many people would opt out...

If it was up to me it'd be an opt out system and people who have always been prepared to donate would be prioritised when organs are available.

No point wasting perfectly good organs, though, so 'opt-out'ers should get them if no one else needs them.

It'll never happen. But it should. People need to understand the morality of the issue when they make their choice. I think this would bring it home to them!

www.waitingforthecall.blogspot.com august 07 for peters heart transplantm that blog covers most of our two and a hlf year wait for his new heart.

His transplant didn't jsut save his lifem it created two new ones with our dd4 and ds. Everyday I am grateful for organ donation.

Thank goodness for the kindness, compassion and bravery of Eggy and Shabba.

I have a friend who donated a kidney to her brother. She lives with that decision and will do for the rest of her life. She did it without hesitation and has no regrets.

And some people aren't even willing to give the same gift when they are dead and will know no different?

Thank you Shabba.

Luna - your post is so very moving and I am so impressed that this thread (or more specifically, Eggy's post) has moved you to overcome your own feelings and join the register - that's great!

kungfu - your friend is a fantastic and very brave sister.

I have been on the organ donor register for many years, since before I met my partner, who co-incidentally has had two kidney transplants. Simply put, if it wasn't for the two people who died and who wanted their organs to go to help other people then I wouldn't have him.

I am not religious so I have no religious objections regarding donating my organs and frankly speaking once I am gone, I am gone, so I would be over the moon to know that once I have passed, other people and their families would benefit from my death. I personally think that organ donation should be something that, in time, we should move towards being more of a compulsory thing that people should not be allowed to opt in or out of - this would save so many lives.

I am not sure I understand why 'presumed consent' is bothering you so much when you are on the organ donor register already...?

TheMagnificentBathykolpia, I am afraid I am like your DP, I think that if I am almost dead, and all my organs still intact, a doctor might think: "Well if she dies i can save 10 others, let's start cutting" . Save 10 lives, lose one, easy decision???? i think they might try a bit harder with resussitation (sp?) if you are not a donor anyway???

I am also superstitious and feel that maybe I would not be really dead and gone if part of me and my DNA still live on albeit in other people's bodies. That freaks me out a bit.

I know I am selfish and unreasonable and odd, and still, I feel worried about it (embarrassed also). I am generally quite a paranoid person, DH is much more trusting in general (but does get taken for a ride a fair few times).

I am now mulling over Eggy and Shabba's posts. They made me think...

a team attempting resus would be unlikely to consult any piece of information not directly related to the action in hand. they are hardly likely to cross check the database imbetween actions....

as donation requires a beating heart, if anything they might try harder.

That's a refreshingly honest post, Chandon.

While I don't think the "save 10 lives, lose one" scenario is impossible, I'd say it is extremely unlikely to happen in a contry as civilised asd the UK. You're more likely to be hit by the proverbial bus. How much is it worth worrying about? How much do you worry about dying every time you make a car journey?

generally docs dont know if your on the donor register.

plus in most cases you have to be brain dead to be a donor.

I haven't read all the posts (8 pages!!)

I have a DD with a life limiting condition. Gradually over time there is every chance her organs will become so damged that they no longer function effectively.

There are many many many older children with her condition who are on the transplant waiting list, but equally many don't make it in the wait to recieve organs.

It is a far too common occurance to log into the CF trust website to find anther young person has lost their fight whilst waiting aged 15, 18, 21 years old.

Please do not remove yourself from this list just to be bloody minded. Whilst you feel you may have got one over on the faceless beaurocrats who impose it, it may be as simple as life or death for my DD.

They are doing it to help children and adults like my dd live a long and productive life when previously there was no hope.

I support the opt out system (even though the Gov rejected it back in 2008) but it would need a massive public information campaign to allay the sorts of fears that people have aired on this thread.

As this link shows, opt in and opt out schemes don't always lead to predictable outcomes.

A beating heart is not required for all donations, though it is preferred. Kidneys, livers, heart valves, corneas, and quite a few others things (particularly tissues) are potentially donate-able up to 24 hours after death and more non-beating heart donations are successful with new techniques (even a heart transplant, though the heart was only not beating for about 3 minutes which would require very specific circumstances). I think actually more people would donate these if they knew they could donate after cardiac death as well as brain death (I think many people's creepy issues are about donating while the heart is still beating, if they knew they could donate afterwards or even some things while alive, it may reduce creepiness factor and increase willingness).

My 2 year old has just had a liver transplant - there is a real shortage of organs and we didn't know if he would make it whilst waiting for an organ to be available. If you have kids you will be able to put yourselves in the position of imagining how that feels for the family of the poorly child... I personally am all for the new system. It really will save lives.

lotsofmischief - I hope your DS goes from strength to strength. Sending my love and thoughts to your family. xx