I have typed a few subject headings but they all seemed quite explosive and I want advice rather than being shouted down, so I opted for a plain subject with detail in the message! I was the OP who started the fussy eating thread, so those of you who have read/taken part in that you may now understand why I started it.
My niece is 13 and an increadibly fussy eater. For the first 4-5 years she would eat anything, she was a human dustbin. However, over the past 8 years she has become more and more fussy over food. My sister and brother in law do not see it, I believe it is because they have adapted how they eat over the years so they end up only buying what she likes etc. But it drives the rest of the family mad as we end up selecting where and what we all eat based on purely her fussiness.
I have eaten with my sister and niece a lot, for Sunday roasts and bbqs etc. My husband and children think it is extremely unfair that my niece (their cousin) gets a huge portion of meat (because that is literally all she will eat) and they get a small portion with veg and potatoes. However, we put up with it because it is normally just one day.
When we get together my neice will eat secretly away from my children so that they don't get any of whatever she is eating - normally this is a whole tube of Pringles, or Jaffa Cakes or those yoghurty pudding things by Cadburies. I don't mind her doing this as I actually don't want them eating all that junk around meal times and they would nag for it if they saw their cousin eating it. However, when she comes to my house she often ends up eating far more than her fair share of the junk food, which has not gone unnoticed by my husband, children or myself. Once she ate 4 Screwball icecreams in one sitting - but they were supposed to be 1 each (1 for her and 1 each for my children).
For the first time ever I am going abroad on a self catering holiday with my father and step mother, brother and wife and son, sister and husband and daughter and my husband and children. There will be a lot of us!
In order to share the work load my sister has asked that there is a jobs rota. She has asked that she does the cooking and others do the cleaning etc. I asked to share all the jobs especially the cooking because I enjoy cooking (as does she, sister in law and step mother). My sister asked me what I would cook. I said I don't know but it is unlikely to be hot meals as it will be warm weather so it is most likely to be platters of food such as tomatoes, cucumber, lettuce, cheeses, ham, pate, freshly cut bread, dips, crudite etc.
My sister has said that her daughter won't eat that and she really only eats roast meat or pasta with Ragu sauce. Therefore, she would rather cook so that her daughter can eat with the family without there being any issues around the table with the family making comment over what her daughter eats (my sister is correct, we will all make comment over my niece's attitude to food). My sister said she would cook roast meats and pasta as this is pretty much all her daughter eats.
I said to my sister I wasn't happy with the cooking arrangement and if we shared the cooking, on the days she cooked her daughter could join in the family meal, but if she didn't like what was on offer from her step grandmother or aunties, then she could have pasta boiled up for her with some Ragu sauce poured over it.
To be frank, i don't want roast meat or pasta every day of the holiday!
I have not yet said this, but I would also like to ensure that all the children (and adults) get their fair share of the things like biscuits, ice cream, crisps etc. I want to suggest that when we buy something like biscuits or crisps etc, that the person who has opened them does not hoof down the lot of them. I can picture the scenario, 1/2 hour before lunch my niece opens the crisps (because my sister will let her) and she offers them to my children and everyone else. I will say no my children can't have any as we are soon to eat a meal. So she will then eat the lot, not saving my children's fair share.
Am I being unreasonable? Over controlling?