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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be fed up of people saying drug addicts should abort?

162 replies

SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:00

I realise I will probably get flamed for posting this here.

In the past 12 hours I have seen a comment from someone on here saying drug addicts should abort and then logged into Facebook just there to find another comment from someone saying ".I would only hope that disgusting junkies/alcoholics/abusers and the like abort when they fall pregnant."

My Mother was a drug addict and this really makes me upset every time I see comments like this. They are basically saying me and my Brother should have been aborted. :(

I know I am probably being unreasonable about this, but it really does upset me and I think some people should think before posting comments like that.

OP posts:
justpaddling · 26/06/2011 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Shoesytwoesy · 26/06/2011 11:02

yanbu

altinkum · 26/06/2011 11:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:02

I didn't actually grow up with my Mother, so my childhood was pretty good.

My brother did and although he has some issues concerning her I'm sure he would agree that he would be pissed off had someone said he should have been aborted.

OP posts:
crazynanna · 26/06/2011 11:03

SchrodingersMew Same here...I wouldn't be here either.
Maybe people think addicts give birth to more addicts,so mass extermination is needed Hmm
The last experiment on social cleansing went pear shaped if my memory serves me right.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:03

altinkum My Mother was, she was and is a heroin addict.

OP posts:
LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 26/06/2011 11:04

Pick your forums/threads/fb pages more carefully, OP. Harsh words are everywhere. It doesn't make them right, of course not, but don't give ignorant people's words the power to hurt you. What do they know? Nothing. You can't stop them from spouting drivel but you can prevent yourself from being affected by it.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:04

To the people who have posted already, it really is upsetting isn't it?

We don't all turn out like our parents and even my Brother who grew up with her, isn't the same.

OP posts:
TrilllianAstra · 26/06/2011 11:04

Sounds like a pretty weird thing to be posting on Facebook

But if part of a conversation people are allowed to express the view that it could in many cases (especially if the parents will be unable to care for the child if it is born, and if the foetus is at risk of harm) abortion might be the best option.

Obviously if someone is a drug addict and incapable of stopping taking drugs while pregnant it would be better if they didn't get pregnant in the first place.

You shouldn't take it so personally.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:05

LWITW I do try and avoid those comments, but they are becoming far more common and harder to ignore. :( I know I shouldn't let them hurt me.

OP posts:
Bloodymary · 26/06/2011 11:06

YADNBU, this is a pet hate of mine. I am raising my adorable Grandaughter
who was born to my heroin addicted DD.

She was born addicted Sad and had to be weaned off with mini morphine, and she is such a beautiful child, happy , bright and friendly.

I challenge anybody to look her in the eye and say she should have been aborted.

Yekke · 26/06/2011 11:06

These people did probably think. And they think something different to you. That's life! You're not being unreasonable for being fed up about it, though arguably over-sensitive, you may feel as you wish but the posters of opinions aren't being unreasonable in expressing their views either; they can speak as they wish.

justpaddling · 26/06/2011 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:06

Trillion It was on a page called "The Great New Mummy Debate", it's a bit like MN on FB.

OP posts:
TheSecondComing · 26/06/2011 11:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

altinkum · 26/06/2011 11:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:08

BloodyMary It was my Grandmother who raised me. She's lovely and done everything she could to make sure I had a brilliant life. :)

OP posts:
NearlySpring · 26/06/2011 11:09

I wouldn't say those who are drug dependent should abort, I'd say drug addicts shouldn't bloody well get pregnant until they are able to look after there own child and not damage the child by taking drugs whilst pregnant.

GetOrf · 26/06/2011 11:11

YABU I think - I think the opinion that drug addicts should hve an abortion is a valid one.

Yes it is difficult for you and a sore subject because of your mother, however if you view it free from emotion it IS better for a woman addicted to heroin to have an abortion, rather then carry on taking drugs whilst pregnant and giving birth to an addicted baby.

There was a thread on here about a woman fostering a heroin addicted baby - the description of the poor baby shrieking in pain from withdrawal was utterly chilling. Apparently some heroin addicted babies cannot even be cuddled, as being touched is too painful for them. Poor babies.

My mother didn't want me and made that perfectly clear, she is addicted to pot (although wasn't when I was born) and she didn't raise me either, and I had a rotten childhood. I know it is a strange philosophical construct but it would have been better for me and for her if she had had an abortion, my birth ruined her life (as she has always been keen to remind me) and my childhood near enough ruined mine.

But, it must be upsetting for you to hear those viewpoints you refer to in your OP. Mind you just ignore the shite on facebook, truly FB is idiotic 99% of the time. S

Bloodymary · 26/06/2011 11:11

Good for her, am genuinely glad that you can say you have had a brilliant life.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:11

TheSecondComing She was a heroin addict before, during and after she got pregnant.

My brother was addicted when he was born and had to be weaned off. :(

Altkinum I sorry if what I said came out wrong, I hadn't meant you were meaning my Mother wasn't.

I do in a way wish that drug addicts would be given contraception, but I think it's horrible when people say that they should abort children whom they have already conceived.

OP posts:
TrilllianAstra · 26/06/2011 11:12

Unfortunately not everyone has a grandma like you Bloodymary.

coastgirl · 26/06/2011 11:13

I have taught a child who was born drug addicted who was very, very damaged. I don't think he should be dead, of course, but his chances of a normal life and education were already blighted (and he was adopted into a loving family who clearly tried their very best for him as a young baby). He will have problems his whole life because of that start, and caused a great deal of problems for me, the rest of the class and the school.

Yekke · 26/06/2011 11:14

OP, do you have a strong view on abortion outside of the matter in hand? I'm just wondering if that adds to your opinion of the issue.

Original poster
SchrodingersMew · 26/06/2011 11:14

But there are other options after the child is born.

I do not disagree with drug addicts who are not able to care for their children being put up for adoption.

Yes, baby's born addicted go through a lot of pain, but is it right to abort them because of this when they will be weaned off it and after a while probably have a normal life?

OP posts: