to feel absolutely disgusted by what just happened on the bus?

[BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte]

On the bus with DH, toddler DD (19 months) in pushchair and newborn DS (17 days) in sling. Travelling through bog standard, middle class suburbia.

As we board, bus driver snaps that we'll either have to fold the pushchair or get off now. As we're fumbling to fold the pushchair whilst clinging onto a tired and wailing DD, other passangers are elbowing past and paying no attention to DS whom I'm trying to protect, and the bus driver is shouting at me to hurry up.

Nobody at all offers DH or DD a seat, and the only person to offer me one is a woman of at least 70.

Having an ashamed-to-be-British moment.

We get Jehovah's Witness's also. I like that you get a free magazine!

BreastmilkDoesAFabLatte

As a fellow bus user (who now refuses to even discuss why I cannot drive I share your pain there) I've found that on a number of threads like this people don't quite get how buses work outside of cities, in that you miss one you miss your appointment

"We don't get them either. We get the occasional Jehovah's Witness, but that's it."

Saturday mornings on the way to dcs swimming class we always used to meet the mormons, although they never accosted us unless we looked them in the eye.

Wednesday morning on the way to my swimming lesson seemed to be the time JW's came down out road. Every single week at 11 and if I managed to avoid them knocking on the door, they would be a bunch congregated at the end of the road waiting for me.

All the mormons ive ever met have been lovely and left quickly when I said I wasn't intersted. They usually are american though as they do a year traveling and spreading the world around the country

Around the world I mean

Majority in this country too self-absorbed to give a toss about anyone else, sadly. Sorry about your horrible experience. Doesn't hurt to take an interest or give a little support, does it.

Mormons and JW's don't even bother with me, I look too enlightened and perfect.

If your baby is very young it will probably be in a pram not push chair, how can you fold it up, the pram I have was in two parts and although it folded it would have been very difficult to get in on and off the bus with a two week old if I took the top part of it off and folded it. I have had bus drivers refuse me getting on a bus before because they didn't have room, ended walking home as I didn't want to wait an hour for the next bus when it would have taken me 45 minutes to walk. I have much sympathy for you as your husband was looking after you other child.

Pinkie, very true. Buggies are pretty simple and easy to fold up a lot of these new prams are not. My new one has two parts so you literally have to take the seat out of the chassis to fold it down. I wouldnt be able to carry the chassis,a newborn baby, a toddler and the seat at once!

I have been pretty lucky with the drivers. They have always been polite and accommodating towards me. I know its going to be a nightmare when DC2 arrives as DC1 will just be 24 months. I have to use public transport as my husband has the car.

YADNBU! I haven't taken the bus anywhere since our last experience. The driver pulled off in such a hurry that DD (then 3) fell down the stairs. I was furious and told him so!

He gave us no time at all to get seated and no one would move an inch just so I could stow the buggy which seperated us at the stairs. When she fell they all looked at me as though I was a terrible mother, which is how I felt.

He then waited at the next stop for a good while so we could go up and sit down - why couldn't he have just done that in the first place?

I know they have a schedule, but surely they could use a bit of common sense?

God, it's pissed me off all over again recounting the tale!

My buggy was already collapsed btw.

You can't win moomin! If buggy is up you get it for taking up space, if buggy is down you look like a terrible mother when DC starts stumbling everywhere.

Bloody hell there are some nasty people on here. OP ignore them!

Some people are just plain rude. Its been said a few times that some don't offer pregnant women a seat in case its fat, yet when i went for a detailed scan not one of the men in the waiting room offered a seat.

"Majority in this country too self-absorbed to give a toss about anyone else, sadly."

You are definitely moving in the wrong circles. Not true.

''Majority in this country too self-absorbed to give a toss about anyone else, sadly."

The other day someone at the bus stop lent a lady 40p, so she could get a day ticket. I thought it was nice.

Move to Sheffield. I didn't use the bus much when mine were in the buggy but when I did people fell over themselves to help!

When my first child was switched to formula and was waking every two hours for a feed (which he did from birth to 15 months!), me and my husband would go two flights of stairs (we lived in a town house), warm his bottle, bring it back up and give it to him. Every two hours. He would either drink it all and demand more, or have one sip and go back to sleep. If he demanded more, one of us would go back down 2 flights of stairs, warm another bottle, bring it upstairs. He would either be asleep by the time we got there, or would have one swallow and push it away.

Years later, I turned to my husband and I said - why did we not just get a mini fridge and a bottle warmer in the bedroom?

Point being - when you are sleep deprived, you function through a fog. On auto pilot if you like. It's hard to think. It's hard to have good eye-hand coordination. Hell, it's hard to walk in a straight line!

So yes, Fab had the baby in a sling and, with military precision, could have held the hand of the toddler, while her husband folded the pushchair, then he could have put pushchair and toddler on bus (or she could have got on bus with toddler and baby while he got on with pushchair).

But I didn't have to spend 15 months staggering up and down two flights of stairs every two hours. Every. Single. Night.

Sleep deprivation makes you crazy and it makes it hard to do even simple things.

Magnificent- exactly. It's easy for some people to be judgey of how they could have handled it better but at the time they did the best they could in a crowd of people whilst being shoved and snapped at.

To people who are unsympathetic to parents on buses/in public etc or who call having children a "lifestyle choice", I would like to say to those people "I hope people were nicer than this to YOUR mother when she had you".

"Move to Sheffield. I didn't use the bus much when mine were in the buggy but when I did people fell over themselves to help!"

I think you are right. I used the buses when we had all that snow last year and couldn't get the car out. I never came across any rudeness.

I can see why the bus driver was stressed by this. He can't think only of the OP; he also has to think of the other bus passengers who may be late to work, or miss a connecting bus if his bus isn't on time.

I do think that it is good manners if you are using public transport to make sure that you can fold your pushchair quickly before you take it out. It isn't really acceptable to hold up a bus full of people.

Our local trains now have the regulation that you can't board the train with an unfolded pushchair. It used to be a lot simpler when then that was the regulation on buses, as it was when my kids were babies.

MillyR- it doesn't sound like OP was holding up the whole bus. Also, you don't always need to fold a pushchair before you get on a bus. It's daft to do it and take your bags off and take your DC out etc only to find there's loads of room on the bus. I agree it makes sense to make sure you CAN fold quickly if needed to i,e don't take a brand new buggy out if you've never folded it yet. However, OP had a 17 day old baby at the time and I think we can cut her some slack here. She wasn't holding up a whole bus as people were able to push past her and get on.

I don't understand why you would buy a pram unsuitable for use on a bus, if you will be using the bus . And I am not anti-parent, I would always help if I can, but some people do think life revolves around them and it iss ok for everone else to be inconvenienced by their child.