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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dilemma time. DP as just come home to tell me he's seen my best friends DH with another woman

72 replies

Supermummy74 · 21/06/2011 18:15

DP as just been into town to go to the bank and he saw my best friends DH hand in hand with another woman. I really want to tell her but DP said to butt out, she's 5 months pregnant. What shall I do?

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LaurieFairyCake · 21/06/2011 18:17

Tell her, no question.

If you're friends with him tell him to tell her or you will.

Dozer · 21/06/2011 18:18

Who is 5 months pregnant, your friend?

I would tell, 'cos I know she'd want to know (have discussed it).

Supermummy74 · 21/06/2011 18:19

We are all friends together I've told DP to tell him he saw him but he Saudi he's keeping out of it and I should do the same.

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kitbit · 21/06/2011 18:19

Tell him to tell her or you will. Be prepared that you might be the villain for a short while. But she has to know. I would want to pregnant or not.

Grabaspoon · 21/06/2011 18:19

I would tell and I would want to be told.

Supermummy74 · 21/06/2011 18:20

Yes my friends 5 months pregnant plus they have a DS too

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Mutt · 21/06/2011 18:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Callisto · 21/06/2011 18:22

Tell her, please tell her. And then be there for her. Good luck, what a nightmare for you.

ENormaSnob · 21/06/2011 18:23

I would tell her.

Triphop · 21/06/2011 18:24

Tell her, but tell her what your DH saw, which was him walking hand in hand with another woman. Don't say, he's having an affair.

Also, I think your 'Saudi' typo at 18.19.24 is probably the best predictive text typo of the day.

catgirl1976 · 21/06/2011 18:28

I think I would want to know. Could have just been a friend or sister though (fingers crossed)

fearnelinen · 21/06/2011 18:29

Men are usually right in these instances.

What do you think is right? What would you want her to do if it was the other way round?

Mutt · 21/06/2011 18:30

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cymar · 21/06/2011 18:31

You could let your friend's DH know that he's been seen with this woman and he's got 2 choices:

  1. He can cut things dead with this woman and you'll say nothing

OR

  1. He can take the opportunity tell his wife or you will.

Those are the 2 things I'd do if I was in your situation.

RCToday · 21/06/2011 18:32

keep out of it

if its in her home town she will know soon, if not already

Mutt · 21/06/2011 18:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LoveMyOscar · 21/06/2011 18:37

What does Saudi have to do with it?

I'd tell her, definately. She may be madat you to start with, especially being hormonal with the pregnancy, but give it a few weeks and she'll come around and be profusely apologising to you and realise what a knob her H is.

Triphop · 21/06/2011 18:37

I wouldn't talk to your friend's DH at all. If he is having an affair, he's already lying to her. He'll lie to you, too.

Just tell her what was seen, just the facts, not jumping to any conclusions. It's up to her to take that further, or not. And you get to stand by her whatever she decides to do with the information.

Supermummy74 · 21/06/2011 18:39

I don't think I can keep out of it, I'm going to tell as I doubt her DH would

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MumblingRagDoll · 21/06/2011 18:39

When I was in this situation I told her. It was the right thing.

Triphop · 21/06/2011 18:39

And DON'T encourage her to leave him, or take any course of action. You're just the messenger here, and you should just be supportive of her. If she wants to stay with him, you support that.

skybluepearl · 21/06/2011 18:42

got to tell her - she is your best friend.

Supermummy74 · 21/06/2011 18:42

I won't I will support her decision whatever she wishes to do. I'd never encourage her to leave him, it's her choose what she wishes to do and I'll stand by her.

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Jonnyfan · 21/06/2011 18:44

I don't understand. Is he Saudi or not?

Supermummy74 · 21/06/2011 18:45

What's Saudi got to do with it?

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