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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to use dh's ex girl friends name for my baby?

55 replies

BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 00:23

DH has been in 3 long term relationships.

Me, and two girls with the same name. Charlotte. By sheer horrible coincidence its one of 2 names we both agree we like for a girl.

The other was used for dd1. As I'm pregnant again (still very early days so don't know the sex) we've come back to the baby name debate and still can't think of any girls names we both like.

Now Dh was with these women for several years one right after the other, I think much to his shame with his friends he actually refered to these them as Charlotte 1 and Charlotte 2.

So with that in mind, woudl it be weird if we had a daughter and named her Charlotte. I'm thinking I couldn't care less now just like the name.. but what if I ran in to one of them with potential dd2? Would it be embarrassing? Are we over thinking it? Would you do it?

OP posts:
BitOfFun · 20/06/2011 00:28

No.

worraliberty · 20/06/2011 00:29

God no use it. It's not like it's a very unusual name if you see what I mean so I doubt anyone would bat an eyelid.

It's a pretty name anyway.

DontGoCurly · 20/06/2011 00:29

I wouldn't do it.

wheresmywaist · 20/06/2011 00:30

As long as you don't mind I can't see a problem, I wouldn't have wanted DH's ex's name for our child but we only have boys - although I don't think DH would have wanted any of my ex's names for our sons. I think it's great that it's not a problem for you :)

AuntiePickleBottom · 20/06/2011 00:32

yanbu, after all it just a name.

but there be no way i would name my dd after the bitch of a ex my DH had

QuintessentialShadow · 20/06/2011 00:35

I seriously doubt he will call his dds name, and think of an ex.

It is a name. The new little person will become THE charlotte, and all other charlottes will be just another Charlotte of little importance.

DogsBestFriend · 20/06/2011 00:36

Agree with worra. It might cause more discomfort if the name were unusual but Charlotte is quite popular so there's no reason for anyone to think anything odd of it, they'll just think that you chose a pretty, traditional name.

Original poster
BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 00:37

So not definitely reasonable or unreasonable then? If it makes any difference I've not actually met either of them and dh doesn't have any bad feelings towards either of them.

OP posts:
MrsRhettButler · 20/06/2011 00:44

I'm using dp's ex's name for my dd due in two months.
Dp didn't like the name so I asked him why and he said because it's his ex's name and I told him to get over it and concentrate on how nice a name it is. It didn't bother me at all so not weird in my book :)

MrsTerryPratchett · 20/06/2011 01:06

I love my ex's name. Wouldn't have used it myself. No hard feelings, it would just have been a bit weird. Does he still have any of the same friends because you may get some Hmm faces?

reelingintheyears · 20/06/2011 01:12

Might be weird for your DP.

And it is his baby too.

Does he not get a say in his baby's name?

Original poster
BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 01:14

Yeah he does have many of the same friends, its the Hmm factor that makes me question using the name. I really don't care and think DH wouldn't either- he's just embarrassed about what people will say. I also wonder if when he announces it to friends in RL or on FB if they will be like wtf? And wonder if I "know"?

mrsrhett let us know if you regret it later! Grin

OP posts:
Original poster
BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 01:16

Like I said, it was the only name we both like. He's a bit embarrassed but not saying no. We are both equally a bit unsure about the name for the reasons explained though. When did I say he had no say?

OP posts:
Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 20/06/2011 01:16

Is DH sure he wouldn't end up referring to your daughter as Charlotte Three, if talking to old friends?

Original poster
BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 01:19

Not if he values his bollocks and he does tortoise

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 20/06/2011 01:20

Tortoise....OMG.

But if it were me i'd always think (know) that.

Continuum · 20/06/2011 01:22

I would!

We are naming ds2 the same name as an ex friend who was a fucking nob. It's a regular name, there are lots of others out there with that name and he will become our Boysname and the other person will be forgotten. We really couldn't come up with another boys name we loved as much and don't see why the nob should put us off!

Original poster
BloodyBabyNames · 20/06/2011 01:22

Lets all just hope I have a boy. Much easier that way (I still have the boy name that I would have used for dd)

OP posts:
reelingintheyears · 20/06/2011 01:29

Call him Charlie...Grin

Tortoiseonthehalfshell · 20/06/2011 01:30
Grin
AmberLeaf · 20/06/2011 01:55

No way.

kaid100 · 20/06/2011 07:35

One of the names my wife suggested when we were thinking about names for our twin girls was the same as my ex-girlfriend's. Even though it was ten years since I was with her it still felt inappropriate. Fortunately there were enough other names we could agree on that it wasn't a problem. Maybe a book of baby names (or a website) might help drum up some new ideas?

MorelliOrRanger · 20/06/2011 08:20

Charlotte is a lovely name. Its just coincidence so go for it if its the only name you both like.

They are ex's - it doesn't matter.

Omigawd · 20/06/2011 08:22

Charlotte 3.....

fatlazymummy · 20/06/2011 08:51

Personally I wouldn't use it. I don't actually understand how you can't choose another girl's name out of all the thousands of names out there. What would you have done if it had been twin girls?
Still, it's entirely up to you.