AIBU to think twice about Breast F I public after this?

[joric]

Ok- just posted this on old thread..after reading one page of breast is best v formula mummies fighting - had enough... However, this is what happened to us last week and it made me think...
Out with friend who, after having several miscarriages had a still born two weeks ago. She is devastated. I have always thought each to their own with breastfeeding, can't stand the smuggies but do what you need to do. However, saw a different perspective last week when we were eating lunch and a woman came in with her DH and sat right next to us and openly breastfed her baby. My friend just couldn't speak and we had to leave. People have the right to feed their babies of course but this just made me think....

Riiiigghht.

So there I am, happily feeding and minding my own business when I become aware of a woman giving me a " look" which ain't that friendly.

You think I should smile beatifically, offer up generosity and think, " Ah, that poor woman may well be giving me daggers not because she's a mean old bitch but because she has recently suffered a loss".

Again I say.

Bonkers.

No, you could ignore it and save your energy.

I could.

But perhaps the person giving me looks could do the same?
If you don't like it, don't look.

Yes, I agree- but some people are less in control of their emotions than others- loads of possible reasons why. Just think it would be good to give benefit of doubt.

I really would actually cut any woman of childbearing age a bit of slack if she behaved slightly badly towards me while I was pg/bf/pushing a buggy. Maybe she's just a bitch, but maybe she's having the worst week of her life and I accidentally made it worse. Not OK to behave like that, even so, but forgivable in the grand scheme of things.

I agree, big possibility she/ he/ whoever is just a bitch but we don't know .. So yes- cut a bit of slack.. A cliche but - Don't fight fire with fire!

i gave birth at 27 weeks and lost my baby at 5 days old. i was sent into a baby filled ward after switching my daughter's machine off. i did not cast dirty looks at mothers as i knew the preciousness of time with children. i now have 2 kids and breastfed both. i also had milk at time of daughter's passing. life is short complicated and full of challenges and surprises. i'm sorry for your friend but believe we all have a right to exist along side each other. also once you hit rock bottom the only way is up.

''AIBU to think twice about Breast F I public after this?''

If this incident has bothered you so much, then no, YANBU, do as you so wish, it's of no consequence to me whether or not you bf in in public.

Don't expect me to be interested in people's reactions to me while breastfeeding my son though. I'm running on a massive sleep deficit and I am too tired to give a toss whether they are bothered or not.

Well, it's a matter of personal outlook, but I think that public breastfeeding is much less of an ordeal for me if I always consider the possibility that the woman in the corner is looking awkward is looking awkward for reasons that have nothing to do with my breasts.

In conclusion ( although it probably won't be) I don't think IABU to re think all of the issues surrounding BFIP as argued out in previous thread. I would be VU to re think BFIP (to or not to).

Lunatic fringe - nobody has given anybody a filthy look here either- I didn't read your post that way.

Can I go now?!!

Basically, let's hope that poor woman next to you in the cafe didn't think, "oh my god, those women thought I was being disgusting feeding my baby". If she did feel awful, then maybe some else (on some forum!), said, "don't worry about it- it probably had nothing to do with you. Don't feel guilty for breastfeeding!"

:) !!

I don't understand the comment about saving energy. What do you think we generally do when people stare at us, make comments or walk out the room? Get into fisticuffs? I can honestly say there has been three occasions in the last five years of none stop breastfeeding where I have or wanted to respond. Two were in a pub (same pub a few years apart I thought the complaint I'd made would have solved things) where they complained and refused to serve me. The other was where two women were shouting how disgusting I was at me as they walked past in a restaurant did want to get into fisticuffs but was attached to a baby and rather suddenly Mum and she reminded me I was feeding my baby so not practical to get into anything!

Joric

I am so bloody sorry for your friend, how heartbreaking. and must be hard for you, too allow her to grieve....it cant be easy to be good friend right now as there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO to make her feel better

I think ANY baby sighting would have upset her, but I dont blame you for posting this as witnesing her upset must have been harrowing for you

Porcam - :)