oh shit oh shit oh shit

[ohmycrap]

oh shit, just come in. bit drunk. did a pregnancy test which was left over from ages ago because i was a few days late didnt really think i was but i fucking am. oh fuck, oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

Christ there are a couple of nutbags on this thread.

X-posts Gooseberry. I did correct that a little higher up. I'm not a sheep BTW, if something reads as crap to me, I'll call it crap. End of story.

I don't come on MN to argue or join in with "lazy abusive posting" for the sake of it. I am capable of independent thought .

I think it's quite abusive to wish the OP's children luck in such patronisingly heartfelt tones - in an 'oh-well'they're-really-going-to-need-it-now' way. The inferences one could draw from that are rather unpleasant re: the OP. Of course the situation's not ideal, but I would find it extremely upsetting for someone to so openly pity my children when it really wasn't warranted. So, pot, kettle.

I wish your three children lots of luck.
Not I wish you all or good luck with the new baby?
I took this as mean spirited and if it was not meant in that way then I apologise.

I am not alone in my interpretation though it seems.

How is the OP's contraceptive failure not genuine?

Op - find your statement of ' whether he stays or not is kind of irrelevant ' rather sad, tbh. Do you really think this? And yes, I am a single parent myself.

Of course it's a good thing to be responsible. It's also a good thing to realize people make mistakes and abortion is not for every one. And it's a very good thing to support people who are in trouble and trying their best.

It's a shit-awful thing to say "I hate to say this" when you don't. It's a shit-awful thing to try to convince someone to do something deeply personal with her body that she is in no way comfortable with.

Mother of one, totally and completely unplanned.

mog-op admitted in previous post that she knew the ab she was taking would interfere with her contraceptive pill and still didnt bother to use condoms therefore imo that means it wasnt really a "failure" as such,more of a general laxness on both their parts.

Mog- OP was taking antibiotics while on the pill and didn't use condoms (as you should do as ABs may interfere with pill's effectiveness).

Still here gooseberry?

Are they still bitching up there?

Points out (as I did above) DS conceived despite using condoms as on AB and then MAP when that split. My point being that yes maybe a little lax, now she's had a shock, now she needs support. Surely thats what the spirit of MN is all about?

Somethings are meant to be.

OK, I see - but still quite unpleasant to distinguish between genuine and (implicitly) non-genuine contraceptive failure when the end result is the same and the women in question need support, no?

it is irrelevant in the sense that i cant make him ok with it neither can i make him stay and it is irrelevant to my parenting abilities, i dont need him to be a good parent though obviously i would want his support.

I'm bringing some desserts cos that's what I do! (to the gutter bbq)

OP, you have no need to justify. It'd done. Focus on the next steps, not the what ifs. Learn from it, yes. But what a waste of time thinking what if this and that...

mog-I have said I respect the op in her choice not to have an abortion. In many ways I feel she is choosing the harder path and is to be commended for that. But I also dont think its unfair to point out that she(and partner) did behave irresponsibly and all this oh woe why did it happen to me is just bullshit. She knows exactly why it happened.
Yes I know their are posters on here who will tell tales about how they got pregnant even though they were wearing full body armour but really its not rocket science is it?. And I say this(as mentioned previously) that I had an unplaned 3rd dc because dh didnt like using condoms!.

What do think his reaction will be?

What do you think, obv.

See your point, pink but think that's a bit harsh - OP moved on from woe is me (initial, shocked reaction, fuelled by a few drinks) quite some time ago. But no, it's not rocket science.

Gooseberry whilst I agree with what you are trying to say you are going way OTT and being personal. I cant help but feel at the women who have so many 'accidents' and the view that making a baby 'just happens'. It doesnt and is a really sad way to bring a young life into the world purely because people were lazy with contraception. I also think more often than not one or both partners 'want' for these accidents to happen by not being more careful.

bimbo-yes that is what I said in my earlier post-that I didnt really believe it was an "accident" at all.

You are only here because you are in AIBU. If this was about support there would be support on the other thread with the other lady in Pregnancy but no.