To think we should all ensure our daughters can drive a car

[Fiddledee]

So many posters saying they can't do x,y,z because they can't drive. Yes its expensive but I think alot more valuable than alot of other stuff we spend on our kids.

I will be marching my daughter to the learner driver school on the first day possible. Even if we couldn't afford it I would encourage her to learn asap after starting work and to save for it.

I just want to reduce the dependency of women on men driving them everywhere. We are not in the 1950s.

Yes if you live in a town or city it is possible to get around most of the time without a car but I think if you are able to learn to drive it is a very useful skill.

There may be a point in your life when you are not in tip top health and would be able to drive somewhere but not walk. It is better to have the skill of driving when you are younger as the longer you leave the test the harder it is to pass.

If you are in a rural area with your kids and one of them has an injury and you are some distance from a hospital it might be quicker for you to drive your child to hospital than call an ambulance (as ambulance would have to come there and back)

Whilst it is environmentally desirable not to go everywhere by car there will inevitably be some places you would like to go to that you cannot get to by public transport or on foot unless you spend every moment of your life in cities.

If you do not drive the chances are you will be dependent on friends for lifts or taxis at some point. You may not like the way they drive and wish that you were in the driving seat driving at a slower pace.

Being able to drive does not mean you cannot walk, cycle and take the train as well, you are just giving yourself more options.

I'm pretty shocked by some of the responses on this thread and adjectives used about non-drivers - 'unsophisticated/unskilled/immature/lacking'.

Ridiculous! Why would anyone care so much about other peoples choices? What about those who can't drive for health reasons? Are they 'lacking'?

There's enough cars on the road as it is and if people choose for personal reasons not to learn to drive, why does it seem to bother mners so much?

Public transport can be more than adequate in most places. I can't bear it when people are so reliant on their cars and become incapacitated when it is in the garage or the weather is bad.

Get on a bus fgs

Ha, no bus for miles and buses from nearest villages under threat. Absolutely an essential skill IMO. However, all the girls I teach are just as keen as the boys to learn, I think we are a couple of generations down the line from the "little woman" not driving. My 94 year old mother regularly regrets not learning to drive.

I agree with you, op. Driving is a skill, perhaps not an essential one, but it enables personal freedom and is extremely useful - surely this is what anyone would want for a daughter?

I couldn't bear to live in a town or city, I live in the sticks and a car is essential.

Would love to live in the country but its not practical and nor can we afford it. Id have a field and chickens.
But we live in a city cos we cant afford to fork out on a car amd its more eco friendly. And better for teens being able to go out and about without parents being taxis or limiting them.

In your opinion it's better for teens, Riven.

Completely varies. Here we can get a decent school / nice enough house on a fraction of what it would cost in the city without the risks attached to teh sort of areas we would have to live given my boys are vulnerable.

However am aware my driver days are limited due to eyesight so no idea what will ahppen then and we will have to make some harsh decisions.

I live in central London and have lived my life very successfully to 37 without the need of a driving licence. I walk, take public transport and jump in a cab if necessary. Driving is most certainly NOT an essential skill. If I move to the country, I will cycle.

Yup, in my opinion. But living in a city gives them freedom from 10 or so to go out when they want witoit being reliant on parents for lifts. Couldnt imagine being a teen and needing ferrying everywhere or having to do that for my three teens. They just head out and come back. Total freedom.

Bit like my four then, Riven?

They have six acres of their own to play in and bikes and friends on the doorstep ( well, usually in my fields ) .

I suppose we all have different definitions of freedom.

And at different ages smashing. Cant imagine my 17 and 15 yo would like to 'play in the fields'.
When they were younger we lived in the edge if a town so they could play out. Now they like cinema and clubbi g and concerts. They have never been ferried anywhere.

Numner 4 is pretty crap at the coungryside too. Cos most of it isnt wheelchair accessible. Luckily buses are so she can go off with a carer.

If I move to the country, I will cycle

I'm shocked about the naivety some people have about living in the country

It may not be an essential skill, but it is a life skill worth having ime. Also, I would prefer my dd to be driving herself around with me knowing she is a competent drver than taking lifts with other teenagers I may not know.
It would be difficult for her to do her pt job if she didn't drive and she is hoping to do a summer job before uni which requires a licence..: so has opened doors for her.
But we live in a semi rural area and drew the line at buying another car..,she uses mine and either she or dh give me lifts if dd needs the car.
We know a few people who do not drive, one a relatve who even bought q car; and tbh they are a nightmare because it means other people have to put themselves out a lot to run them around neither is a non driver for medical reasons and both have cars available to them.

I know, it's very funny.

I don't see where people get this idea that a woman who doesn't drive must be dependent on a man. For the first 25 years of our relationship dh didn't drive either- who was I dependent on?

My father doesn't drive and never has (nor does my mother). My brother doesn't drive, nor does his partner. We are all fit and healthy and pretty well travelled; my db in particular travels all over Europe with his family.

Dh and I used to be out in the countryside every weekend- not a problem at all if you are willing to use a combination of public transport and legs. You have to make up your mind that you can get to a large number of places in the countryside rather than to any point in the countryside. That does me. And tbh if you are not used to walking, there will also be places in the countryside you can't access.

The only reason we caved in and got a car was because of the combination of two disabled children and a disabled MIL who needed visiting.

But I don't particularly feel freer because we have it. Real personal freedom would be having a healthy family and the use of our legs.

By the time I am too old to walk, who says I would be a safe driver? My FIL was terrifyin, but put other people at risk for years because he could not imagine living without a car. My parents otoh are coping happily with not being able to drive because they never have. And they are noticeably fitter than those of their friends and relatives who have been driving all their lives.

My MIL never learned to drive and it's a bit awkward for her to get to ours by public transport.. if she were able to drive she'd be over just about every day to see the little one, but as she is not she only comes by when FIL is able to drive her.

Although from my perspective that's not such a bad thing ;)

My Dad taught my twin sister and I to drive as soon as our feet could touch the foot pedals at age 9. Reason being we lived on a remote farm and he was worried that if anything happened to my Mum, one of us could at least drive to the nearest neighbour (3 miles away). Also it was handy for getting the hay in, having two extra drivers.

I do think it's an essential life skill. You don't need to have a car, but you never know when you might need to drive one.

I am in my mid 20s and haven't learned to drive yet.

I went to university in a capital city and now live in another capital city, so have always been able to get to most places very easily on public transport and on foot. Not driving has never made my life more difficult at all.

It is true though that sometimes a car is more convenient. My DP and I like to go out into the countryside and we will usually go in his car as it's quicker and easier than taking various trains and buses. He gave me my first quick driving lesson recently and I am planning to learn properly within the next year as I will have time due to going on sabbatical.

Fiddledee, calm down, there is no need to be shocked; I was brought up in the country and happily cycled everywhere until I moved to London. I am very fit and would rather get around by exercising than lazily using a car to get from A to B.

What will you do fiddle when petrol is £5 a litre, or £10?

Well that would imply an oil price of around £500/1000/bl (assuming tax stays in proportion to the product price- actually highly unlikely), in which scenario, how you're getting your kids to school would be the least of your worries.

'Bit like my four then, Riven?
They have six acres of their own to play in and bikes and friends on the doorstep ( well, usually in my fields ) .
I suppose we all have different definitions of freedom.'

We do. I drive, but my teens don't. They may choose to at somepoint in the future.
Mine have the freedom to access two major cities and numerous towns using good rail links.
DS would probably be content with roaming wild over 6 acres for a while, but he'd miss the museums, cinema, bowling, seaside, kayaking, shops and all the things he currently has at his disposal without needing me.
DD wouldn't cope well, she's manage rusticity for a weekend.
She managed her gap year travelling very well, despite not driving.

TheBride - at least I would be able to grow my own fruit and veg, what would you do?

My parents tried to do this and must have spent a fortune on driving lessons. They started just after my 17th birthday, I took my test once (and failed) right before I left for university and never went back to it. You can't force someone to be good at something or want to do it.

DH drives, and now has a car as he needs it for his job. But for the vast majority of our time together we didn't have one and managed just fine with walking and public transport, even when living in the middle of Cornwall.