To think we should all ensure our daughters can drive a car

[Fiddledee]

So many posters saying they can't do x,y,z because they can't drive. Yes its expensive but I think alot more valuable than alot of other stuff we spend on our kids.

I will be marching my daughter to the learner driver school on the first day possible. Even if we couldn't afford it I would encourage her to learn asap after starting work and to save for it.

I just want to reduce the dependency of women on men driving them everywhere. We are not in the 1950s.

Dont ,et it get to you snail. Yoh are not polluting.

maybe they are just jealous of my bus pass riven?

must be pain I would'nt mind one, its £1.85 single to the town centre where i live

Forget living in the city and whether or not driving is essential for daily rountine. There is nothing more exciting than getting in the car and thinking "where are we going today?" and setting off to somewhere new, without worrying about timetables and transport links etc.

I love that, and I want to instill in my daughters the simple enthusiasm for exploring. If I couldn't drive, I wouldn't have that.

You really do that soojie? When i have had a car its been solely for getti g from a to be. I cant imagine getting in a car to drive for fun.

I often drive for fun, nice day, top down, fresh air around wheels. I like the wind in my hair thing on horseback too but that always means I've forgotten my hat which spoils the moment.

I think oil is a bit of a precious resource to be honest and shou,dnt be 'for fun'. Plus the pollution.

Haven't got the energy to read all this thread - I just wondered whether people who can drive but don't, e.g. live in London, would also judged by some here to be 'finding excuses' not to drive.

Does that mean people aren't allowed to holiday away from home or visit other countries unless for work or some sort of improving activity?

My dad used to drive for fun, he used to love it, but this was 20+ years ago when times were different. My dh on the other hand hates driving and will only drive if needs must.

People who feel driving is an essential life skill have made themselves dependent on their car, cheap petrol and their mental and physical health always remaining fit to drive. Lose one of those things and you are stuck.

Why does not driving mean a man has to drive you everywhere? Are you counting the bus driver as a man, because on my route there are several women. Don't be so sexist!

Forehead - again if you only had to do a little part time cleaning job at 18 then you are very lucky

PainSnail, me too. I have been patronised to high heaven for not having passed my test despite having spent about £4K on it in the last two years and having failed 4 tests.

I am just not trying hard enough because essentially I like living in the 50's and have a man to drive me around (on the bus).

I like driving sometimes for fun, too.

Not city driving but round the beautiful, windy country lanes with the windows down and the radio on - bliss!

I can only speak for myself but I wouldn't feel fully grown up without a driving licence. Same as if I couldn't cook or stay in the house on my own or manage my money.

Riven, oh yes, am just a bit of an explorer and love the freedom. On my way to work I see an open road pointing to the hills, it's so hard to take the right hand turn in towards the city. Family does orienteering as a sport, and I love it because it takes us to places we wouldn't even know existed. Coming over all evangelical, so must shut up! Am up north, so roads not so busy.

My kids and DH have been on a dad's camping trip last month with five other dads and kids.

How would you do that without a car, bearing in mind it's in a field five miles down a country lane?

And you have to carry tents, water, sleeping bags, food, drink, blow up mattresses and clothes for five people.

I can think of hundreds of other such examples.

smashinghairday - My husband or someone else would drive so I could drink alcohol , sleep in car etc. I have a licence but why drive when you dont have to

yanbu. i passed my test in jan (i'm 32 next week). dh and i agreed we would pay for lessons for dd when she's 17 or if she's very reluctant put the money aside and pay when she's ready. i wish my mum had just put her foot down and said lessons or no allowance.

whether we would pay for/toward a car is something we'd decide at the time but once she has her license well she has it - it doesn't get taken away just because you don't drive for a while. i want her to get it out of the way asap so its there if she needs it.

iagree it is not absolutely essential BUT i'd rather she had it. for all i know she might choose a career that requires no driving and never have children but thats up to her. i will do my best to equip her well for adult life and i see driving as part of that.

smashing the men would be driving would'nt they as its the DADS camping trip

Ah, I see piglet.

So you do think we shouldn't bother getting our daughters to drive, then?

and i am not car dependent. i managed fine without one until i passed in jan - dd was 18 months by then too and i managed. i feel strongly about dh and i not making ourselves even more car focused too - we are house unting atm and dh would like to live in the middle of nowhere - i have vetoed this - i think its important to at least live within walking distance of some kind of commercial centre even if its just a village shop for environmental/health/fitness/fresh air etc reasons. on this vein i dont want to commute dd too far to school etcand spend half her life in the bloody car. i am refusing dh a second car unless he does long term civils work (he works offshore no need for car for him to work) for the same environmental reaosns even though we can well afford it and it owuld be convinient. i don't use the car every day and can cut it down to 3 times a weekif i'm organised. i can also manage the shopping without a car (have done for long enough!) with a combination of local co op and boots with an internet shop every few weeks.

despite this i still think i should make sure dd can drive. actually every time i read a relationships thread where the op/dp can't drive it just reinfoces it. if we have a ds i'd do the same for him.

One of my aunts never learned to drive. Wasn't too bad as a young mother as she had friends who would help out, her DH and buses.

She's now 68, a widow and her children live ten, twenty miles away. They visit her when they can but rarely as they are busy. She says not learning to drive is the single greatest regrets of her life and she cries over it now as she cannot get where she wants to be easily, quickly or sometimes at all.

SoojieSun 19-Jun-11 18:35:19

Forget living in the city and whether or not driving is essential for daily rountine. There is nothing more exciting than getting in the car and thinking "where are we going today?" and setting off to somewhere new, without worrying about timetables and transport links etc.

see, I think theres nothing more exciting than getting on a train to go somewhere, the journey becomes the day out. without worrying about parking etc.

and we have been camping several times on the train, tents come in pull along bags, so do sleeping bags and airbeds. water bottles collapse, as do saucepans etc. its not difficult. having a car/being able to drive isnt necessary.

We have been camping many times without a car, as do many people who go to the camps we go too. I think if you are car dependant you think things are not possible.