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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we should all ensure our daughters can drive a car

366 replies

Fiddledee · 17/06/2011 08:33

So many posters saying they can't do x,y,z because they can't drive. Yes its expensive but I think alot more valuable than alot of other stuff we spend on our kids.

I will be marching my daughter to the learner driver school on the first day possible. Even if we couldn't afford it I would encourage her to learn asap after starting work and to save for it.

I just want to reduce the dependency of women on men driving them everywhere. We are not in the 1950s.

OP posts:
forehead · 19/06/2011 14:55

Piglet, you have suggested that i live in a 'bubble', which is so far from the truth. I am aware of the fact that some people are unable to drive for various reasons , disability etc. I am not aiming my posts at these individuals, i am talking about those who are fit and well, but have not bothered to learn.
My parents were not wealthy, i did not receive driving lessons as a birthday gift, i got off my arse, found a part time cleaning job
Where there is a wil, there is a way.

forehead · 19/06/2011 14:55

Piglet, you have suggested that i live in a 'bubble', which is so far from the truth. I am aware of the fact that some people are unable to drive for various reasons , disability etc. I am not aiming my posts at these individuals, i am talking about those who are fit and well, but have not bothered to learn.
My parents were not wealthy, i did not receive driving lessons as a birthday gift, i got off my arse, found a part time cleaning job
Where there is a wil, there is a way.

NestaFiesta · 19/06/2011 14:58

I just want to reduce the dependency of women on men driving them everywhere. We are not in the 1950s.

Can we please (tired voice) stop assuming that women who don't drive depend on men for being driven? It is insulting, patronising and inaccurate to women who do not drive.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 14:58

For you forehead it was a priority, but not everyone feels the same, for some its not, and they get about perfectly well with other means.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 14:59

I know car drivers who actually use the trains to get about as they see it as being cheaper.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 14:59

or National Express

NestaFiesta · 19/06/2011 15:02

Forehead- very often the people who "have not bothered to learn" do not have the money to learn these days. Many women are raising families and/or working full time and I don't see why they should get an extra job like you did in order to afford lessons. Driving, learning to drive, and buying petrol is becoming prohibitively expensive. It might not be top of everybody's list of priorities.

Let's not turn this into another "Look what I can do- why can't you all do it too?" threads like the recent one.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 15:08

That's right Nesta the way that oil prices are going, and the environment people will have to look for alternative ways to get about. Believe it or not, driving is not a priority or important to some.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 15:09

The dependence on cars by some is a bit of a Shock, my other friends car broke down and she did not know the first thing about how to get to work or about the public transport system. We also have to teach self reliance, that is an essential skill.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 15:10

It broke down in the morning and she did not have the time to sort it out.

forehead · 19/06/2011 15:16

Nesta, my intention is not to turn this thread into a 'look what i can do thread'
There's a lot that i cannot do. I just believe that one can always find excuses not to do things. My mil regrets not learning how to drive, despite living in London, as she feels that it prevented her from doing so many things.
My best friend's husband taught her how to drive, she then had ten lessons with an instructor and passed her test on the first attempt.
She has a full time job and 5 dc's. but she was fed up with having to ask her dh to take her grocery shopping etc. Her dh is happy that his wife can drive, as it makes his life much easier

OracleInaCoracle · 19/06/2011 15:19

I dont drive, neither does dh. we all get around pretty well, despite living in a village. driving is not a necessary skill ffs.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 15:34

Our daughters should be empowered to be able to make their own choices whatever that may be, and to be confident and assertive.

NestaFiesta · 19/06/2011 15:49

Forehead, one can indeed find "excuses" not to do things, but to some people, these excuses are actually well thought out reasons made according to individual circumstances. Everyone knows a story of how someone passed after ten lessons and a few trips out with a relative, but there are other stories too of people who tried it, spent both hours and thousands and discovered it wasn't for them. I am one of them.

FYI OP, my DH does drive but our car gathers dust as he gets a lift share in the week and we walk everywhere at weekends. Hardly "relying "on him.

All I would like to see is for drivers to get off non drivers backs. If you can drive then great, but leave us non drivers out of it thanks. I do not criticise your choice, please respect mine.

And I do get quite riled when people make out that female non drivers rely on men!

OracleInaCoracle · 19/06/2011 15:54

nesta, me too. and I agree with piglet too. ime its drivers who are bothered about non-drivers.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 15:55

Thats right Nesta what others might find as excuses, are well thought out and not taken lightly. Please no car driving threads, almost as bad as the ff/bf ones

NestaFiesta · 19/06/2011 15:56

Hear hear piglet- I'm getting deja vu!

Riveninside · 19/06/2011 15:58

Can you imagine what the roads would be like if all non drivers said 'ok, we will drive'!!! Even more gridlocked and polluted than they are already. Polluting the town i live in.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 15:58

It does seem to be the car drivers who are bothered by the non car drivers. Unless somebody is relying on them to give them lifts and chauffer them all the time than its nobodies business.

acsec · 19/06/2011 15:59

I can't drive and have no real interest in learning. I sometimes think I should learn but I caan't afford to learn or run a car. I'm fairly sure it's not an essential skill Bonsoir

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 16:00

There was one a couple weeks ago I was glad to see the back of, now somebody else has come up with another one, and has posted and run and not bothered to contribute to the debate.

pigletmania · 19/06/2011 16:02

I hate those who post and run, there seems to be a lot on MN lately.

jellybeans · 19/06/2011 16:05

My other half and me share a car which i think is the best of both worlds. It's not really good for kids to be ferried everywhere. We have to walk quite often and also choose to even when we have the car. it's healthier and teaches the kids road safety etc. My kids can cope with gettign drenched etc and don't expect to be given lifts everywhere, alot of their friends do as they have never walked further than up the road.

acsec · 19/06/2011 16:05

I walk/ bus/ train it everywhere as DP hasn't got a car either even though he can drive we live on bus routes and really near train stations.

PainSnail · 19/06/2011 18:06

Forehead if you think I should be driving, then you invent a cure for epilepsy. Go on, off you go. Millitant drivers are everywhere it seems.

This thread is starting to make me feel really, really bad about myself. You wouldn't believe how much of this crap I have to put up with in real life either.

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