to resent getting parenting advice from mumsnetters who are not actually mums?

[sweetuphoria]

Ok preparing myself for a barage of abuse here, this is something that annoys me in RL as well as Mumsnet...

Those people who are very forceful in their opinion about how to raise a child when they have none of their own. I mean I will admit I thought I knew kids until I had one of my own and then I realised how completely different it is looking after someone else's to having your own 24/7. Sorry but those without kids have NO IDEA!

no i dont think you have do something experientially to give good advice
that's based on the assumption the experience has grown or shaped the individual positively

So you're saying my 'parenting expert' wasn't spouting keech then?

no,im saying just because someone is mum doesnt equate wisdom.just as it being suggested that becoming mum = wise and walk a mile in the mummy moccasins to know your onions

and fwiw, glasto-wellies will probably talk keech when shes a mum too.as that was daft advice

Do you pronounce it as keek (or Keeh) as we do in NI?

I recently started a thread on a similar topic asking should I try and help my SIL with her DC's who constantly cried and tantrumed- of course I got totally flamed as I am 'only' pregnant and what could I possibly know.

By total coincidence SIL asked for my opinion last night on what I thought the problem was as I spend alot of time with them, and I can usually stop them crying, she was glad of my input and is going to try what I suggested - and who knows it may even work!!

So I think yabu to think that childless people can't know anything anything about children- children are just little people and there are only so many things that can be wrong with them and affecting their behaviour, and sometimes another perspective on things help.

you ignore those whom you don't share an experience with?
how bizzare

then you are denying yourself. What does parenting my children tell me about yours? Nothing.

Troisgarcons, how very strange.

not keek, as in looking at something.keek oot the window and she if the van is here

Key-CHHHH emphasise the chhhh

I'd love to be a yummy-mummy - but I'm not. I'm a real one. One who makes mistakes, learns from mistakes, and will probably a far better nanna than I have ever been a mother

oh the shame

Yep, same as here.

YABU
yes some childless people are morons but then so are some with kids. Having children doesn't suddenly make you intelligent or less of a dick than you were beforehand.

I seen how some people's kids have turned out and there is no way I am taking advice from them. There are others with whom I just disagree with their parenting methods

Ds teacher (someone who handles 30 children with ease and without shouting) is very young and has no children, but for advice on handling large groups of children at once she'd be much more use than I would (mother of two who's never supervised more than 4 or 5 at any one time).

I was very badly parented myself and despite having 2 children there are a lot of things that I haven't experienced or have done badly. Plus mine are still young (eldest is 6yo) so I'd be useless on teenages - SIL (childless) on the other hand works with teenagers and would be a lot more useful.

Asking online you are likely to get a huge variety of conflicting advice anyway - you have to cherrypick. You are already sorting the information on its worth anyway, does it matter if its from a non parent or not as you assess its usefulness anyway.

Everyone knows someone childless who thinks they know it all and are usually talking out of their arses, but I've met those people after they've had kids and mostly they are still talking out of their arses.

pragmatically,how do you negotiate situations trisgarcons?
do you decline childless gp giving advice about children?wait for the parent gp?
do you genuinely only "connect" as you call it if someone has experientially done something you've done?

I don't think it matters-people give advice and you are free to take it or not-it often helps just to have an outside view. I think firemansamantha's childless friend had excellent advice-don't give a lot of choice.

I understand where the OP is coming from...that does not mean everyone without a child cannot have good ideas,cannot have valid and truthful opinions and cannot help a parent to think outside the box and be helpful..but imo it bloody helps sometimes ...I worked with children long before I actually had them and they listened to me and were mostly well behaved and everything was down packed...my relationship with that child was different than it's mother and it was easier for me to achieve results that parents took longer to do solely because I was not that child's parent...that's why I believe it's easier to take criticism or accept ideas from other parents...well it is for me and I'm being honest

But that does not negate what a person who has no children can offer...just don't get why it's so offensive...I was quite opinionated at times without children and still am with but having children of my own opened my eyes I will not deny that..

scottishmummy, surely some If not all opinions from a mum about being a parent are experiential?

I think in all honesty i'd probably think that another mother's opinion was more valid If she was a friend aswell as IME they are more realistic with their advice. I have some good friends that are childless and it is a bit clueless. However, i think professionals that work with children that are childless are on the whole very worth listening to.

you only have to read mn to see the gamut of opinions mums have
and experience of something doesnt necessarily cut it
feeding,prime example.we all have experience of feeding our babies,but not same experience. and indeed people argue subjective experience as if irrefutable fact

people argue nursery based on their experiences.doesn't necessarily make any of them globally right

i dont think being mum necessarily cuts it in the advice or empathy stakes

I don't think it cuts it in knowledge or idea stakes ...but it can make a difference in acceptance and empathy stakes...

not necessarily.mums are homogenous we dont all accept,being parent can add a judgy edge too. i read some stuff on mn based upon other mums ideas of being good mum and think yikes

not necessarily.mums arent homogenous we dont all accept,being parent can add a judgy edge too. i read some stuff on mn based upon other mums ideas of being good mum and think yikes

It's the posters who have no medical expertise, nor any experience of the medical subject and keep on posting as if they are an expert that really wind me up!

LOL,the diagnosis murder approach to diagnostics.love it

But that can come from someone who is not a mother as well as someone who is..being judgmental has nothing to do with being a parent...