to resent getting parenting advice from mumsnetters who are not actually mums?

[sweetuphoria]

Ok preparing myself for a barage of abuse here, this is something that annoys me in RL as well as Mumsnet...

Those people who are very forceful in their opinion about how to raise a child when they have none of their own. I mean I will admit I thought I knew kids until I had one of my own and then I realised how completely different it is looking after someone else's to having your own 24/7. Sorry but those without kids have NO IDEA!

Sorry I can't produce a living child to meet your requirements in a teacher then troisgarcons. I find it INCREDIBLY offensive to have my professional capabilities judged by the function of my uterus - especially when I suffer with recurrent miscarriages.

Emptyshell, sorry to hear of your miscarriages, that must be very very hard

its a nonsense to say being mum makes an opinion more valid or experiential
some parents are great,some are not
but this notion of i am goddess i am mother hear me roar is really daft
lets face it jordan had kids but i wouldn't take advice from that particular woman.mum or not

I think YABU. Unless someone actually insults your parenting methods or offers you dangerous or incorrect advice then it's not causing you any harm. I do not have children. I wouldn't give any medical or technical advice, but if it's a situation that I can understand or have experience of then I may chip in. If you have a problem then the more solutions that are offered, the more likely you are to find one that works for you; if it works, what does it matter who suggested it? :)

YANBU to be annoyed by people giving their opinion forcefully but I'm sure many people with children are just as guilty of doing that!

i worked with children and adolescents before being mum
and i was v good at it.all that book learnin you see. the pie in sky stuff
one can be a capeable professional and work with children without having any.so of coures a hv,md teacher etc can be good

just as male obstetrician doesny have womb but can be v competent practitioner

eqaully some professionals have kids and are not v good

Like others have said ANYONE giving forceful advice and criticising is annoying. But I would in no way resent some friendly advice from a childless person or someone with kids - it might work. My sister has no kids and is FABULOUS with my 2.
And emptyshell I have massive respect for teachers - childless or otherwise. My eldest drives me to distraction on her own at times and the noise of a classroom would drive me mental!

Parents only have direct experience of their own children, so why does that make them any more useful about other children than childless people?

Honestly, being a paretn doesn't make you a guru, and not being a parent doesn't mean you are an idiot. People without children don't live in bubbles you know.

I've got a ton of kids. I know fuck all about what you should do with yours. My child-free friend is a sodding genius with my children, you'd be far better listening to her for advice.

I'm only a foster carer to abused and neglected teenagers.

But since I haven't given birth I guess I'm irrelevant to the OP.

I suppose it depends on what you value as the basis for an opinion on something. After all, you wouldn't only take medical advice from a doctor who had the same condition as you, I presume, because you'd value their objective, theoretical knowledge about how the body generally works rather than prioritising empathy with your particular symptoms, iyswim.

In my parenting class the other day, the woman running it (late 20s and no DCs) asked us all to think of a particularly stressful situation...we all agreed on supermarket shopping. She asked why and one parent told her that her DS always tried to run off in the shop. The 'teacher' said 'okay, but when he gets to the door he will stop and turn round to look for you. You then nonchalantly carry on shopping, ignore him and he will calmly walk back to you'.
We ALL just looked at each other and rolled our eyes in awe of her complete lack of knowledge re toddlers.
She then spent 20 mins telling us how much she was looking forward to going to Glastonbury, and how excited she was with her new wellies

No - the worst advice is from people who have those DC with no medical problems who are PITA because of piss poor parenting with no boundaries and no installation of empathy for others who moan about their lack of effectiveness with their own DC but anyone saying, however nicely, basically what PITA these DC are is being nasty- these are always the ones who unasked insist on giving other people advice on how to raise their DC despite other parents having are better behaved and generally doing better.

I've had a bad run in with one such parent today - interfering unasked and putting my DC in harms way.

The there are the PFB who insist their way is the only right way and huge judgy pants permanently on - had few run in with those this week.

Best MW I had has never had DC - worst had had three.
All advice should be evaluated.

YABU as others have told you.

What kind of world would we live in if we were only able to give advice about things we had been through?

As a lawyer, I'd be out of a job, for a start

coproxamol - I'm sure most people young and old and with or without kids would know that that is hugely generalised and not the way most kids would behave.

nah,glasto-wellies will probably still talk keech even when shes a mum
some folk are just full of it.regardless of whether or not they are mums
and maybe when glasto-wellies has kids she'll spout rubbish about aromatherapy and being a centered mum whose toddlers dont run away in asda

No she was adamant that the child would not run through the doors into the car park then on to god knows where.
The whole clas were literally amazed when she said " well when he runs off, just let him go, he's not going anywhere is he?"
Er, yeah ,into a busy car park for a start you twonk.

this has nowt to do with not being mum
equally ive heard some right ole chuff from mammies
just the way things work. becoming a mum doesn't necessarily imbue one with special knowledge and wisdom

I have a friend who thinks she's God's gift to parenting because she had a younger sister. She doesn't have any children of her own and yet she's the expert when it comes to my kids (telling them off, telling me how to look after them etc.) and I must say it becomes rather frustrating after a while. It's so easy to criticise when you're not the one who has all the responsibility, tiredness and emotional roller-coasters of being a Mum.
I really think people without children should keep their often misguided opinions on parenting to themselves

Yes, but this wellie lover is passing herself off a proffessional. That is scary. Luckily the majority of parents at this class have come to the realisation that she knows sod all about kids in RL anyway. She may have impressive paperwork, but telling me my DCs will not run off without me is shite. Mine will run for England cos he thinks it's funny to watch mummy chasing after him.
I just think she will change her teaching attitude when she has her own brood to contend with.

no,not necessarily.maybe the common theme is she talks keech
and may well do so as a mum too
so its about her,rahter than her parental status

Also I remember how condescending Nicky Hamilton Jones was to me during filming. I only had 1 DC then but was completely overwhelmed with the parenting thing.
She was always making flippant remarks such as "oh you should have regular times at the gym, pedicure, hairdresser, facial, whatever, regardless of your DC".

She soon changed her tune when she had her DC...couldn't believe how difficult it was...no shit!

BTW, what is Keech?

My sister does this. It is irritating as my sister is quite, urm, opinionated, whilst not having any real knowledge to back it up. Given that she is still living at home in her twenties and not paying rent, I take her advice with a pinch of salt.

However, I have some great childless friends who can give clear cut advice which is in the interest of both myself and my DC. They have the insight of knowing us, without being clouded by emotion. I value their opinion and actually welcome their advice mores than some of my friends who have children, but are struggling with similar issues with their DC.

So yes, you are being slightly reasonable, childless people can be amazing or they can be like the rest of society - desperate to push their opinion on you, whether you like it or not.

We all have experience of being children/ of being parented and are therefore all allowed opinions. YABU.

(speaking as a childless child protection social worker who gets results).

I just think that you have a much better insight into parenting if you actually have to do it every day.
It's like offering advice to a friend who's DH has cheated on them. If it's never happened to you then you can offer sympathy, but you can't possibly know how it feels cos you've never experienced it yourself.

keech=shite
talkin keech is talkin shit