ANYONE WHO CLAIMS ANY BENEFIT EVER FOR ANY REASON WHATSOEVER IS A CUNT

[Hullygully]

Just so we're clear.

If we can all just agree on that, perhaps there would be no need for all these poor concerned posters to keep fretting about it.

OK. I officially just snorted my coffee down my nose at this.

Kungfu cunt - genius. (Bet you got your lessons free too, scrounger!)

I did, I got them free and got money back for doing them!!

Everybody was kung fu cunting...

Yes that was written for me kungfu cunting

i love this thread, it's very 'Derek and Clive'

"Patrick Macginty was an an Irish man of note'
One day he went to market and bought himself a goat"

The classic song by Val Doonican.
Fucking capitalist bastard, bet he made money there by exploiting benefit seekers.

Oh I go away for a few hours and come back to find I've been upgraded to UBERCUNT! Sweet.

No to while away my remaining months of no recourse to public goats watching you all fling public goat poo at each other. Then I can trade in my expensive private goat and get a public goat of my own (which would make me a um, UBERCUNT cunt). What's not to love about Britain?

I understood this thread at first, I have now become totally confused. Like your song though TLE.

Don't you mean cuntfused X?

In the name of Equality, there should be some swans made available- forriners like to eat swans

Can I have a llama instead of a goat?

Fuck. I go out for the afternoon. And I miss getting a goat. Can I backdate my claim?

yes, but you will need a doctors note, and you must fill in special form L8/G04T which is available if you spend 5.7hrs on hold to the phone to the Cuntcil Council listening to New Kids on the Block.

I sold my goat for beer money

I heard of someone who knew someone who lived down the street from someone whose granddaughter is a welfare-scrounger and had five kids by five different men, two of whom are in jail and one of whom died by drug overdose. No one knows who the other two are. Anyway, she has three big-screen TVs and a pedigree rottweiler and fifty seven tattoos and buys McDonalds every night for her lil huns Chastity-Shyanne, T'Jay, Braylee, Kyleigh, and Xhaydin. I would like her jailed for her crimes of Blatant and Prolonged Cuntism.

PS, I'm a yank. And I'm ironic like a mofugga.

Plus she pimps her goat out for extra cash. I mean, there is no end to this woman's indecency.

No, it isn't, AuntieMonica

The blessed Derek & Clive decreed that 'the world's my lobster'. They arrived at this conclusion because goats are renowned for eating anything and, given half a chance by Greta Garbo or Jane Russell tapping on their door in the dead of night and letting them loose to forage unfettered, would eat the entire planet, whereas lobsters only eat other crustaceans and the occasional sea-bottom hugging fish.

If that isn't sufficient to convince, there's no way this thread can be likened to the immortal pair's opinings because, to date, no-one (or their goat) has claimed benefit for catching their left tit in the mangle.

CheerfulYank I bet she got her rotweiller's ears pierced too when it was just a puppy. And am I right in guessing its collar says "future WAG" on it?

tattooed Staffordshire Bull Goats with fag dispensers in their arses.
Cunts

My goat doesn't give milk, i have trained her to give Stella instead

You know it fuzzpig . She manicures its toenails too, at the same times she does her daughters'. They all look like this of course. And then her facebook status reads:

Jus did mii nails n' mi lil princesses 2 they look gorg! LOL gots 2 drop them off @ pole dancin class now so ttyl hun!

Cunt, Cunt, Cunt!

Next she'll be giving the goat a naval pierce and a tramp stamp and then you'll see the country go to hell in a handbasket.

All this goat claiming clearly needs to be regulated, I therefor put forward a points based system to ensure everycunt is getting their fair share of goat.

Benifit claimant - 10 cunty points
Teacher - 300 cunty points
Breast feeder - 5 cunty points
Outdoor breast feeder - 150 cp
Step mother - 285 cp
Person who says Hun-185cp

Please feel free to add to list to ensure we cover every possible cunty claimant who is entitled to a goat or two.

Dressing Baby in adidas tracksuits, 50cp

Having children with man....all the CP in the world.

Cheerfulyank. There aren't enough cunty points in the world for that.

Oh dear cheerful. Romford isn't within the sound of Bow bells is it