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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask what you think of this new breastfeeding video?

540 replies

clitorisorclitoraint · 14/06/2011 12:06

I found it a tadge patronising.

You?

OP posts:
belgo · 16/06/2011 13:40

buttonmoon78 - good luck with your fourth baby. I hope this time you get the support you need if you wish to continue breastfeeding.

Itsnotunusual - it's sad when a toddler stops breastfeeding but at least you have your next baby to look forward to feeding.

buttonmoon78 · 16/06/2011 13:54

Thanks belgo. It's been for a variety of reasons - dd1 had reflux and I was totally unable to get meds into her without 'hiding' them. At 10wks she still hadn't regained her birthweight so I stopped and changed to ff. I also hadn't healed but that wasn't picked up til about 5months post birth.

DD2 wasn't so bad - I managed nearly 6m with her but she was always a skinned rabbit of a child (still is!) so had to stand my ground on that.

DS was a catalogue of disasters! At 1wk I had a sinus inf, he then got oral thrush, I got it on my nipples etc etc. It never really got better after that and I swapped to ff at 5wks. I simply didn't have the time to work at bf.

I'm going to give it my best shot again, and will again use all the support I can, but if it doesn't work out again I'm not going to beat myself up about it like last time.

I will do my best and that is good enough.

clitorisorclitoraint · 16/06/2011 14:16

Beautiful film esian.

I'm with posters who find the burlesque element, along with the cows and childish boob names, distateful.

The video is also missing toddlers...where are they?

OP posts:
xxStudentMidwifexx · 16/06/2011 14:20

If you watch the video again there are toddlers....

d0gFace · 16/06/2011 14:26

Just watched it again, noticed one toddler feeding and another chilling on the floor.

jojosmaman · 16/06/2011 14:31

Hmmm, not particularly fussed about the video, maybe my humour is different but I don't think it's hilarious.

To be honest, what I dislike most about any b/f promo video is when they show groups of women all sat round feeding, it always look a bit cult-ish which unfortunately is the way b/f is seen as to a lot of people, something to be left to hippies.

I would also like to see more openess about b/f by "celebs" (maybe not Jordan!) since, as sad as it is, people are influenced by the behaviour of celebrities and I think this would 'normalise' b/f. A lot of women pre-kids will associate breast feeding with being restricting, not being able to go out without the baby, not being able to feed in public, not having your own life, not being able to wear fashionable clothes (actually this last one is a bit true) and so if you saw a celeb in a magazine out and about in public and knowing they breastfeed then you may think that, actually, it might not be all that restricting.

On the contrary, I think more could be done to show how liberating breast feeding is, I still wonder how I ever left the house with my ff son with all the paraphernalia a bottle fed baby requires. Now I just grab a nappy and wipes and I'm off.. I don't even bother with a changing bag now.

Which is annoying as I have a gorgeous Cath Kidston one.

Finally, people also need to know that short term, breastfeeding is a pain in the ass but persevere for this first six weeks or so and you'll be laughing. (Not the best tagline, granted)

aliceliddell · 16/06/2011 14:50

Agree with Bornsicky. Burlesque is just stripping for people who want to pretend it isn't. The fact that lots of women are embarrassed to bf is because tits are used as a form of entertainment. How does burlesque help?

PrinceHumperdink · 16/06/2011 15:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

petisa · 16/06/2011 15:22

What a beautiful video Esian, thanks for posting it. Reminded me of how relaxed about breastfeeding (and motherhood, and breasts!) people are in Latin America.

dollydoeshula · 16/06/2011 15:29

Hello! I just thought i'd say 'hi' as one of the mums in the video. I had a look at video suggested above and that many of you are enjoying. I can see why it will strike a cord with any mother nursing a toddler who has faced negativity and ignorance around this issue. In all honesty, before I became a mum, if I had seen it, I would have gone "yuk", stopped watching and forgotten all about it. I can't help that I used to feel that way, I lived in a breastfeeding free world. Lorraine Kelly said on TV you should stop feeding a child when they have teeth - so that's what I thought, I had no other reference point.

Now when I had my daughter, I wanted to do what I felt was best for her, breastfeed her, and I did, despite being told 101 reasons why she and I would be better off using formula by various people in my life. I had an awful experience in hospital where a nurse in a bad mood took my baby from me when she was less than a day old and gave her formula - poor wee girl has a serious milk allergy, and we couldn't get that under control until she was 6 months old, and I got a lot of conflicting advice about latching on and ended up really, really sick with bacterial mastitus three times in the first 6 weeks. I rang the La Leche League for some support - the well meaning lady I spoke to suggested all our problems were due to me having an epidural - couldn't do much about that after the event, but it ruled out me finding some buddies at LLL. I went to breastfeeding clinic run by NHS - they were amazing, but I didn't make any new friends, I was the odd mum who didn't make her own wetwipes and admitted to using the occasional jar of baby food! I went to the Children's Centre, was the only person breastfeeding at two groups I tried, and me starting a feed prompted a discussion about weaning babies off the breast as soon as possible. Then my baby's allergic colitis was diagnosed, which made her very ill and also suffer from terrible eczema. Under the advice from the doctors as to the best thing for her and the best way to feed her I radically changed my diet, cut out all allergens and continue to breastfeed her at 9 months old and will do so as long as she wants to. I still get bother from family who believe all my baby's problems are because I breastfeed. I also have to justify myself and explain that no, she is not "too old" to be breastfed, and i'm likely to be doing it a lot longer.

You may wonder what my point is, but I was beginning to feel quite isolated, and was noticing every formula fed baby in the street, on tv and in movies, and if I saw or read one thing about someone breastfeeding, it gave me a little lift. Sexy Sassy Breastfeeding Women (don't leave out the women just to try and make it sound 'pervy') means something to me, and this little bit of daftness is connecting with people and means something to them - just not many of you on this forum, and that's fine, you enjoy the things you like instead.

I'm not going to get too bothered if you don't like my fat ass, but to the individuals trying to imply there is something abusive about the appearance of our children in this video by making snide comments, shame on you. Say it to my face and we can have words.

Cescalise · 16/06/2011 15:31

Thefurryone - I might get slated for suggesting this but a friend of mine had latch problems and after trying everything else (I agree with the suggestion to see a lactation consultant - they really helped me with some BF issues I had) she started using nipple shields. She says she knows they are controversial but she is still BF'ing now and her daughter is 7 months old. She didn't look back once she started using them and nothing else had worked.

DirtyMartini · 16/06/2011 15:33

The Puerto Rican video has made me cry. I am a soft old eejit.

"I am kind-of depressed to see that any attempt to point out that sexiness might not be the best way to go wrt bf promotion is equated to saying that
women are not allowed to be sexual at any point during their bf years." Agree with PrinceHumperdink on this.

I am a normal, sexual person who also happens to breastfeed but I think the "let's show that bfing mums can be sassy and sexy" message is about as effective as the half-baked mags put together by the Apprentice teams last night. It is such a shame because I'm sure the burlesque video was well-intentioned but it's just, well ... misguided. It comes across as if not enough thought was put into the idea and I'd guess that for every person it appeals to, there'll be someone else who's really put off by it.

DirtyMartini · 16/06/2011 15:37

dollydoeshula, where has anyone implied there was anything abusive about the appearance of the children in the video?

d0gFace · 16/06/2011 15:38

I dont think anyone suggested you were abusing your children dollydoeshula.

Say it to my face and we can have words.

Confused
dollydoeshula · 16/06/2011 15:39

Dirty Martini (Great name, she's my burlesque hero - but i'm guessing that one isn't your reference point!) - RE "for every person it appeals to, there'll be someone else who's really put off by it" The exact same applies to the Puerto Rican video, people have had an incredibly strong reaction to that video, and many others relating to breastfeeding on the web.

DirtyMartini · 16/06/2011 15:41

I know who she is :) I'm not named after her though.

BlooferLady · 16/06/2011 15:42

Yes I am extremely confused by that d0gface Confused

dollydoeshula · 16/06/2011 15:44

Please do not think I was being threatening, i said "words" and I mean that! There was a comment on here that's been deleted, but the poster, I assume, and I would say the Bimbono5 and FrancesFarmer to a degree - someone got nasty on the youtube page, but that was removed.

soverylucky · 16/06/2011 15:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

d0gFace · 16/06/2011 15:50

Its just I cant say it to your face as its the internets! :) I need a pedantic smiley.

BornSicky · 16/06/2011 15:50

dollydoeshula I'm not attacking you for having a fat, thin, scrawny, or chunky arse...

it's not about that in the slightest, but miserably you and the other women have chosen to use the sexiness of your bodies to sell the idea of breastfeeding.

what i think you probably meant with the ad is that you can still be sexy and breastfeed, (not breastfeeding is sexy), but that's not what is coming across.

Also, by dancing around in corsets and encouraging people to watch you doing so, you will get people judging your body, as that is what we are conditioned (or condition ourselves to do) when women are featured in any media, mores the pity.

so... to be clear... my crititicisms of this film are that it's random in its narrative and storytelling and poor choice of images associated with breastfeeding, which means that the goal the makers set out to achieve has not been met and in fact has undermined the image of breastfeeding, not empowered it.

d0gFace · 16/06/2011 15:55

"what i think you probably meant with the ad is that you can still be sexy and breastfeed"

This is what confuses me about the video, do women actually think that they cant be sexy and breastfeed. I havent been in the situation myself but its not something that would cross my mind. Dont you just carry on as normal?

PrinceHumperdink · 16/06/2011 15:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BornSicky · 16/06/2011 16:03

d0gface as the mother of a 4 month old, I feel distincly unglamorous most days, as I'm covered in sick, poop and wee. But, breastfeeding has nowt to do with it.

frankly, i'm a million times more interested in helping my gorgeous baby grow up healthy and happy than I am in posh frocks and flirty evenings out. I can still have those when ds has left home in 18 years but i'm not at all interested in being sexy right now. the two are not mutually exclusive though.

buttonmoon78 · 16/06/2011 16:05

I have never felt sexy when bf d0gface. I'm sure I'm about to get a flaming but I've never felt sexy when wearing scaffolding an enormous bra and smelling a little like sour milk. As I said previously, I've never been v good at it though so that will not be everyone's experience!

For what it's worth, I don't feel particularly sexy when pg either!