Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...to ask what you think of this new breastfeeding video?

540 replies

clitorisorclitoraint · 14/06/2011 12:06

I found it a tadge patronising.

You?

OP posts:
soverylucky · 17/06/2011 21:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

soverylucky · 17/06/2011 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

shuffleballchange · 17/06/2011 21:32

I like this, I just stopped bf DS2 at 6 months, purely because he is far too nosey to bf properly, he can have a good look around when having a bottle. Those women in the video are all gorgeous and look absolutely fabulous, what a great advert for breastfeeding.

Lunabelly · 17/06/2011 21:44

In the UK, mothers on benefits get vouchers for formula. I have only known one mother on benefits to BF. (And I'm not being mean, I was on benefits myself). I am saying what I have seen, no more no less, and wondering if that is A) widespread and B) possibly contributing to the worst-case scenarios.

You cannot compare Norway and Sweden to the UK, very different lifestyles and outlooks. AFAIK, Scandinavia has much better maternity leave etc and a more community outlook, and a more relaxed pace of life?

I have always found most pro-BFers to very intolerant of people who FF (for whatever reason), and to ban formula advertising is...well, there is something almost sinister about it. You know, sometimes I cannot help feeling that the overt bullying I have experienced and witnessed is some kind of bizarre misogynistic scheme to keep women in their place, so extreme it is! Trying to deny women the choice is just...nasty.

Also, some women might have several children and simply no time to BF, as it does take longer and feeds are more frequent.

And why would I want to use banked milk? Two of my babies were macrosomic and exclusive breast milk simply wasn't enough for them. My tits were too big for my babies to breathe and you know what? After horrendous, crippling pregnancies, long drawn out labours and PND - to suicidal point on occasion - if I wanted a little bit of myself back for me and ALL my children, that is MY prerogative, mixed feeding worked for us, and any naysaying would have been met with swift reprisals!

You do your thing, if it works for you then that is grand. Pleased for you.

But bullying, belittling, patronising or scaring people who don't adhere to it is not on. I refuse to tolerate sexism, racism, homophobia, and I won't tolerate this weird thing where some women are making other women feel bad about their feeding choices. It's really weird, and almost like a divisive religion thing. We're all mothers, and all in it together, surely??? Confused

Jannerjo · 17/06/2011 21:46

I didn't say ban it.

BoscoIsMyLover · 17/06/2011 21:47

I just watched the video so...

I have mobility issues, long term medication means that I cannot bf....I already fail in so many aspects when it comes to my DS, I cant run around after him, a lot of activities have to be ruled out, when he was young, I couldnt hold hm for long periods, if another mother had to provide milk to my son, my failure would be complete....

STUDENTMIDWIFE Im glad you would never be in front of me to tell me that I gave my child junk food....I did the best with what I had, I wont apologise for it and no amount of weird david bowie-esqe videos would tell me otherwise..quite frankly if this is your attitude at the beginning of your career, I stongly suggest you look at other options....

waits for someone to say "oh its ok to ff if you cant bf for medical reasons, its only the ones who dont want to".

crazycatlady · 17/06/2011 21:50

On the issue of support being crucial for initiating and continuing successful BFing... it is often forgotten that during the 60s and 70s in the UK and North America (not sure about other countries?), new mothers were actively encouraged to use formula as a new and better alternative to breastmilk...

Clearly this was incorrect, but the effect of this policy has been that many of todays mums lack much needed BF support from their own mums, aunties etc.

My own mother was considered positively weird by her obstetrician for planning to BF... this was 1970s Canada. She went right ahead and did it anyway, both children for 18 months, and her support and experience has been invaluable in my own BFing experience. Honestly I don't think I would have kept going beyond a week or two or been able to cope with mastitis, poor latch, tongue tie, breast refusal etc!

As time goes on, hopefully with more and more new mums successfully BFing, within a couple of generations we'll have that much needed knowledge and experience being passed down again.

BoojaBooja · 17/06/2011 21:56

I don't understand. Giving a baby milk from another human = failure, but giving milk from another species, which isn't designed for human consumption anyway = ok? Confused

Jannerjo · 17/06/2011 21:58

60s and 70s? I was actively encouraged to FF in east London in 1999. They brought bottles round to the ward. Made to feel a freak for bf. I'm glad times have changed.

Lunabelly · 17/06/2011 21:59

BoojaBooja. Yes, in a nutshell. Works for me. :o

soverylucky · 17/06/2011 22:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sungirltan · 17/06/2011 22:01

'Are you suggesting that my problems bf are to do with the advertising of formula?' of ocurse they are! why do you think formual companies provide so many websites and 'helplines' for new mums bf. have a look at this explains it better than i can

DaisyDaresYOU · 17/06/2011 22:03

I agree with you boscoismylover.This thread is angering me.I did what was best for me and my babys.My 1st born slept in the night from 3weeks from 7pm to 8am so I must of done something right and he is a happy healthy 5years old.Very energetic and slim built as is my 2and a half yr old.Funny how all the bottle feeders I know are healthy weights.Dp and his 4siblings.Me and my 2siblings.My dcs,my sisters dcs Hmm .I hate this ff bf divide.We are all mums trying to do what is best for our babies

fruitpastille · 17/06/2011 22:03

I'd still like to know if studentmidwife has ever breast fed herself and if so if she experienced the excruciating pain and misery that so many of us go through. Hey if I have another baby I'll make sure I'm living in scandinavia and I'm sure it will all go swimmingly.

soverylucky · 17/06/2011 22:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sungirltan · 17/06/2011 22:11

soverylucky - actually i'm sorry - didn't realise it read 'my' - i speed read and assumed you meant bf problems in general. i see that my post reads as a personal attack - i'm really sorry it wasn't meant that way.

soverylucky · 17/06/2011 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

crazycatlady · 17/06/2011 22:14

Wow Janner, 99?! Well that's even more years of formula being promoted by the medical profession as the 'best' way to feed babies that needs to be reversed.

I'm not sure we're going about it the right way though. There is too much fanaticism over BF and it is so divisive. People get entrenched...

sungirltan · 17/06/2011 22:23

thanks soverylucky - it was sincerely meant. i like to wax on about bf in the abstract sense but i'd be ashamed if i resorted to personal jibes. i'm a peer supporter and work with mums all the time who are having bf problems which are very real - some can be solved some cannot and its that black and white.

Lunabelly · 17/06/2011 22:29

Have never rung a formula helpline. So those have nothing to do with my macrosomic babies or dangerous enormonorks. I don't see how helplines can hinder bfing? The only advert that has EVER influenced me was the mentalist Tango ones back in the mid-nineties.

My boobs got so engorged with my last baby that DS couldn't get near them. They felt like some sadist had stuffed them with burning coals. 38 JJJ of burning, searing agony.

So I would sit, for hours, miserably expressing some off. Wouldn't even get an ounce off. Would get him to feed a bit more. Not that he could comfortably feed and breathe at the same time because of their stupid ugly size. But I persevered with the mixed feeding. For five months. Then I thought "Do you know what? Fuck it."

He wasn't getting enjoyment or nourishment from it, I was in pain and I had a few funerals to go to and needed a few stiff drinks to face them.
DS is a happy healthy genius who will be taking over the universe in a few years Wink

Thankfully I am a mardy stubborn cow who doesn't listen to it. But I've seen mums who ARE affected by it, deeply and hurtfully.
Like soverylucky my mum also had deformed nipples. Should she have carried on feeding me blood? Because that's what I was getting. Even though my nan is BF Taliban, even she helped mum to FF once she saw just how bad it was.

soverylucky · 17/06/2011 22:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Xxxxxkxxxxx · 17/06/2011 22:33

soverylucky i dont get this???? "It would feel like another woman looking after my baby. another woman succeeding" im sorry but i agree with boojabooja how is an animal providing and succeeding for your child better than another women??
Fruitpastille, i am a breastfeeding mother and i have been through the pain etc that u are talking about, mastitis aswell crying in pain but got through it and didnt give up!! which i could easily hav done and completely agree with studentmidwife!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

soverylucky · 17/06/2011 22:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

tiktok · 17/06/2011 22:39

studentmidwife - it's great to hear that midwives and student midwives take this issue seriously, but honestly, it would be more helpful if you would learn some tact and kindness and the same goes for anyone else who thinks part of supporting breastfeeding is to make egregious comparisons...what you might make as a throw away remark has an effect on mothers who give formula to their babies for whatever reason, not always out of choice.

What you post here about junk and McDonald's gets repeated again and again when people want to exemplify judgmentalism, and it makes life harder for people like me who are on these boards long-term, supporting bf....long after the novelty has worn off for you :(

If you would not tell a woman to her face she is feeding something you disapprove of, then dont post it here.

Thank you.

Xxxxxkxxxxx · 17/06/2011 22:46

No i dont want a medal i am just replying to fruitpastilles comment to student midwife asking if she has ever bf and if so has she experienced the pain some women go through, as i have. Its all very well commenting but as someone has said if u havnt experienced it its hard to relate!! i think you need to calm down!