I accept your apology, Honeybee. But when I say what I do, it's because i'd get into exactly this row again with someone else - it's not aimed at you in particular. It's about anyone who uses, in this situation, the word "maybe" when they mean "is".
It's also about anyone - and i'm sure this includes no one here - who gives meaningful looks and says "you can't be too careful," or "no smoke without fire" or "you have to wonder why he'd WANT a job like that" or "we've all seen THAT sort before" and then waits for everyone else to nod in agreement.
And the main message i wanted to get across, and why I have kept hammering my point home, is that the people nodding in agreement are as much to blame as the people saying those things. Which is why, although I don't want to upset Kerry, or you, or anyone else for whom this is a difficult subject, I refuse to be one of those nodding.
"It is wrong that society has this impact on men because of a minority that do abuse." Yes, it is, and I really feel for your husband (incidentally, I take my daughters into the gents', because there aren't many paedos in there either) - but it's also wrong, and probably more dangerous, that we make no mention of the minority of WOMEN who abuse, nor of the thousands of abusers, men and women, who, rather than become scout masters or nursery nurses, take the easy option and keep it in the family.
If we want to protect our children, it would help if we worked out first who we actually need to protect them from and focus our attentions there, because this "man bad woman good" nonsense really isn't helping anyone, least of all the children at risk.