to think its pretty normal for a four year old to still need pull ups at night?

[ilovemikidz]

i am a regular mnetter, my name is of a "foxy" variety usually

but i have namechanged for this as i am asking on behalf of my lovely friend (who isnt a mnetter, but SHOULD be ;) ) as will be sending her a link to this thread. hello! at friend.

her DD, aged 4, was toilet trained about 2 years ago, she grasped it very quickly and has been dry in the day since then. she is a bright, clever, advanced little girl but my friend is worried that she isn't dry at night times as she is expecting a baby in the autumn.

her MIL and DH are, IMO, putting her under pressure a bit to get her DD dry at nights, saying she "should be" dry at nights now, well i think thats utter bollocks TBH, all kids are different.

and in any case, i seem to think that its less to do with how "advanced" or otherwise a DC is but something to do with a hormone/chemical that is released that enables children to become dry at night? am i right?

anyway, please could some of you lovely ladies re assure my friend that there is no need to stress and that its totally normal for a child this age to still wear pull ups at night. :)

My eldest was well over four by the time he was dry at night. In the end, he was waking up because of a wet nappy but I think he was waking to do the wee and then getting distressed at having the nappy on. So we took the nappy off at night, told him to get up for a wee and have only had two wet beds since. I think we would have been waiting forever for him to have a dry nappy in the morning because he gets up in the night for a wee every night.
I don't think it's considered to be a 'problem' that needs intervention until the child is 7.
Agree with you about not putting on pressure.

It is absolutly normal. have a look on here for re assurance.

My DSS is 14 and still in pull ups at night. Without them he wets the bed almost every single night. Not quite so normal at his age, but not completely unheard of either. He goes to Seascouts and he is not the only one of his age at his group that needs pull ups still.

My neighbour also recently told me that she wet the bed until about 14, then managed to become dry.

It is a delay in production of the hormone vasmopressin which causes this, it prevents the kidneys from producing too much urine at night. That's not the only cause, but it is one of them. Doctors won't do anything until about 7 or 8, as has been said, because it is pretty common for this hormone not to 'kick in' until then. I think it's something like 1 in 9 7 year olds that still wet the bed.

My ds1 is nearly 11 and still wets the bed on a regular basis. Ds2 was dry from about 3 1/2. I have spoken to the nurse a few times about ds1 but apart from trying to get him to drink a lot more during the day ( which he doesn't do) we will just have to wait for it to work it's self out. I wet the bed until I was 13 and so did my DH sister. One of my neices also wets the bed still She is 6. They say it is heridatary.

When ds1 went away with school in March I gave him some bed mats to put over sheet so not everything needed changing if he was wet and his teacher was very understanding and made sure he knew it was ok to let her know if he was wet so she could help him if needed.

Milamae, in the nicest possible way, you are talking crap. Do you really think you know better than ds1's emminently qualified team of consultants who have spent their entire careers specialising in enuresis? Dear me, you do have an inflated sense of your own importance and abilities don't you? You are funny!

Milamae, in the nicest possible way, you are talking crap. Do you really think you know better than ds1's emminently qualified team of consultants who have spent their entire careers specialising in enuresis? Dear me, you do have an inflated sense of your own importance and abilities don't you? You are funny!

^what she said :o

Ds1 is 4.5 and still in pull ups at night, as are several of his mates.

Nothing unusual, and nothing to worry about

I am reassured by what others have written here. I have a nearly 6 year old who has soaking wet nappies every morning (have tried going without and could not cope with washing so many sheets) and a 4 year old who is nearly ready to come out of nappies at night. Problem is how do I get my 4 year old out of nappies at night without upsetting my 6 year old? I'm considering trying to get both out of nappies at the same time over the summer hols.

I have recently taken my dd1 (6.3) out of pullups and started to use those absorbent bed mats instead. She's desperate to not wet the bed as she wants to go on sleepovers to friends' houses and is very embarrassed about the bed wetting. Most days the mat is fairly much dry, but it appears that maybe she starts to wee when she goes into a lighter sleep just before waking up. There is often a small wet patch and I hear her rushing to the loo when she wakes. I feel like we are getting there with her, but slowly. She probably doesn't drink enough at school either. My dd2 (3.9) has soaking wet nappies every night and is miles off being dry.

It so depends on each child individually. My DS1 was dry in the day at 3 but not at night until age 8. DS2 however was dry both in the day & at night by 2 1/2 years.

IMO, age 4 is too young to be worrying about it .

Oh wow! Read a few, skipped a few, fwiw I totally agree with MilaMae and am by your response OP to be frank. We always "lifted", after 2 yrs. Nicer for everyone. Cheaper. Better for the environment. OP, do you think pull ups should be exported to third world countries, because according to your argument that would be progress

whatsfordinnerthen The age gap between my two sons is 3 1/2 years so DS2 was actually dry at night 2 whole years BEFORE DS1. We always used to do nappies/pull ups etc. in their own bedrooms so I don't suppose DS1 even realised that DS2 was not having one on.

Of course, this is trickier if the children share a room .

Hiya, I just wanted to say first of all that no-one should be pressuring you or your DD into being dry at nights (I'm not even sure how that's possible ) as it just stresses everyone out and makes it seem so much more of a problem than it is!

My DS would'nt even look at a potty until he was 3.8 years old and everyone kept telling me he should be doing this and that and of course we both got stressed out and nothing happened but after 2 weeks of no nappies (and a lot of accidents) he finally used the toilet and luckily for us 3 weeks later in his own time he decided that he wanted to use the toilet at night too, that was February 2010 and we have not had one accident since!

Ironically though one of those pressuring me into daytime dryness was SIL whose 7 year old has 'pyjama pants' for nighttime incase she wets the bed, so don't fret all children are different and it certainly has no bearing on them as a person!

Tell anyone who pressures you to leave it as she will pick it up in her own time! :)

Utter tosh. My DS was over 5 before he was dry at night and it was no biggie at all. Children have enough pressure on them these days without adding to it. She'll be dry when she's ready.

When the child id ready the nappies will be dry.
All these people who think that children over the age of 4 who have nocturnal enuresis have lazy parents need to get their heads out their own arses.
When you have a nine year old whose body just isn't producing vasopressin and desperately wants to be dry like her friends, no amount of parent bashing will help.
Some things take time, that's all.

My Ds was dry by 2 and has occasional accidents now every few months. We only know he has wet the bed when he gets up in the morning; he sleeps right through even though he is drenched and must be uncomfortable. I use mattress protectors and the disposable bedtime mat things. I am not in the least bit worried. If the child is wet most night use pull ups etc. BTW I wet the bed and grew out of it. I remember being very very sensitive - best not to make an issue regardless of what DH and Mil say. Not a bit deal IMO

Lifting is not recommended, as it reinforces weeing-in-sleep

Wee/teeth/wee at bed time (double voiding)

Avoid red/brown drinks, they can irritate the bladder, stick to milk/water

Increase fluid intake during the day (school age children are notoriously bad at drinking through the school day so get teacher onside to remind the child) to increase the volume and hence holding capacity of the bladder

As so many have said, primary enuresis is dependant on when a hormone is produced by the child's maturing body. Production of the hormone is out of the child's control, in the same way as getting taller or hair growing is out of the child's control, no amount of stickers/begging and pleading/punishments will help

Shower the child in the mornings for social reasons (we all remember going to school with a smelly child )

Go through school nurse to get medical help from age 7, before then it's not usually considered a medical issue

Double/triple dress the bed - waterproof/bottom sheet, waterproof/bottom sheet, whip off wet bedding to reveal fresh underneath, SO much easier in the dead of night

NB I had a persistent bedwetter who was not dry til age 8 and one who was dry at age 3 (both boys)

For those of you who are enviromentally conscious (or on a budget) and using disposable changing mats, these pads are fab and don't seep through ontot he matress.

My DN mentioned above uses one on her bed and it is'nt particularly unsightly or even noticable :)

Your lovely friends DH and MIl are talking bollocks. Even if they weren't why is it up to your friend to do it all, why should her DH not have to do it

On another note I am so glad I came across this thread. DD1 is 3.5yo and has been dry in the day since approx 2 weeks before DD2 was born so DD1 would have been about 20mo. DH and I didn't have to do anything, DD1 just kind of did it herself. We left a potty in the room for her and she just did it IYSWIM.

Night times are another matter. She keeps asking to wear just her nickers at night and we have tried a couple of times with no joy. Her pull up's (big girls pants as we call them ) are usually dripping in the morning. DD1 is a very heavy sleeper so does not wake up. My mam keeps on at me about night time training with DD1, but DH and I know she isn't ready. MIL on the other hand tells us to wait and she will get it in time (My MIL is fab and I love her I do love my mam, but she is hard work and interfering)

I am going to tell DH about the hormone that DC need before they can be dry at night.

I thought that night time wetting was to do with hormonal development.

My ds was out of nappies at night by the time he was 12 months old. I just noticed he wouldn't wet himself at night or during naps and for 20 mins after waking up.l So took him out of them. He has only wet the bed once since 12 months old and it was due to a gastric flu and he ended up in hospital.

Sound great? Well, we didn't manage to potty train him till he was 3 years old. And he's wet himself once in the day a good few times. Just not at night.

Upsidedown kid.

my dd had pullups until 7 or so (just as they were invented!)- she is now 17 and hasn't wet her bed since - so she needs to tell the inlaws to back off.

They're ready when they're ready. Sometimes you can help them be ready sooner, but ultimately unless their body has started making the hormone that reduces night time output, you might as well save yourself (and the child) some heartache and hassle and leave them in pullups.

When the pullups are dry, or nearly dry in the morning, then think about trying a plastic sheet and no pullup, but until then it just ain't worth the worry.

My eldest DS was dry day and night at 3. My youngest has just turned 8 and has only just cracked it. They're all different.

I don't think it's normal ie the norm, but I don't think it is is very very unusual.

Blimey, both my kids were out of nappies at night and day by 2 years and 2 months, without any pressure or hassling. feeling quite proud of them now!

But op, it is whether the mum is happy about the LO being in nappies at night, not if the mil thinks is is unusual ...

But I would say that I would try and stop it before the baby comes ... Maybe tie it in with a present or something.