...to smoke cannabis while breastfeeding

[SemiCharmedWife]

I don't know where to begin.

Actually I do, I'm not a troll, I'm not a regular poster who has namechanged, I'm a lurker who reads the reviews and reads the forums when the baby is having a day of eating and I am stuck to the sofa. This is probably a one-shot username and as it is, I am a little worried someone will trace my IP because what I'm doing is illegal and probably a bit wrong, but I can't be bothered with the SWIM (Someone Who Isn't Me) games. Please be aware I am not taking this lightly, but I don't know who else to come clean to.

I realise by saying 'I'm not a troll', 95% of people will nod and think 'that's what a troll would say'.

I'm procrastinating.

I still smoke weed while breastfeeding DD (4 months) and I was still toking while pregnant. I found out I was pregnant when I was over 20 weeks gone last autumn - if it had been all nicely planned, I tell myself I would have given up. I had an easy pregnancy, a natural labour and DD was a week overdue and perfectly healthy. I am aware that I potentially have dodged a bullet and I would have been devastated if there had been something wrong with her. I think I'm an average mum. I love her (although it wasn't instant, she makes me melt now when she smiles and laughs), I am patient 97% of the time, most housework gets done and I take her out of the house every other day at least.

But I never managed to stop smoking cannabis.

I was going to stop at the new year, then I was going to stop when the baby was born, then I was only going to smoke when the baby was in bed and we tried... but right now, we're smoking as soon as DH gets in from work, then maybe after dinner then almost definitely before bed. One of us stays with DD and we take turns if she's being grumpy, otherwise we go outside and keep an eye on her if she's downstairs/take the monitor if she's in bed. I don't get so stoned that I couldn't react if there was an emergency, I just relax and chat with DH.

Are there any studies that say whether the downsides of smoking weed outweight the downsides of formula? I'm reluctant to give up breastfeeding because it's working for us and I wouldn't be able to pick it back up again, but I can't help but think I am drugging my DD sometimes. Are there actually plenty of mums who still smoke and it's a big, well-kept secret? Am I worrying too much and me and DH will grow out of it (I make us sound like teenagers, we're both mid-20s)? It has to be said that while I would quite like to stop sometimes, my DH will apply pressure to spend money on weed, is very pro-smoking and doesn't think I'm doing/have done anything wrong and even voiced the opinion that I had such an easy pregnancy because I was smoking (not in spite of!). What will the police/SS actually do if someone reports me? Do I deserve to have my baby taken away from me?

I don't know what I'm expecting by posting this, but I'm too scared to be honest with the Health Visitor or the Doctor and I'm even lying to most of my friends (who knew I smoked but presumed I gave up when I was pregnant/had DD). Maybe I need to have my arse kicked and my face rubbed into cold hard facts that prove what I am doing is DISGUSTING and WRONG. Maybe people will surprise me and admit a lot of parents (especially with littl'uns who don't understand) still smoke cannabis, my DH is right and I should just stop worrying. Maybe people will empathise and have ideas on how to say no while DH is outside the back door smoking.

And let the judging commence.

I am shocked that the OP has so little regard and respect for her child as not just her baby but another human being who could suffer ill effects in the future as there is no proof either way. My brother gave up everything when he was 32 and decided he wanted to donate a kidney to me. I was on dialysis at teh time. No one thought he could do it but he did. When he had all the pre donation tests the doctors all said there was no sign he had ever touched heroin and said he was literally a perfect physical specimen. He also had to undergo psychiatric evaluation and that was good too. Several years later he smoked some strong skunk after not having smoked for years and was admitted to a psychiatric hospital and has been ill ever since. It has devastated his life and he cannot work/have a relationship etc. the day before he was working chopping down trees etc in conservation and within days he had thrown all his CDs away (they were talking to him) into the river along with his bike as he said people were watching him on it and were going to run him off teh road. there is no doubt in the doctors minds this was caused by cannabis. It is not always the harmless drug people think and I have smoked it a fair bit myself when I was younger.

that's awful noddy :-(

If you can't be bothered to stop despite knowing that there is an increased risk of SIDS, that it may affect brain development and that DNA metabolism may be affected so that overall development is impaired, then you sound like a pretty rubbish mother to me. If you can't stop, then that is another matter and you need to get help.

You want to knock this on the head while your DD is still a baby. I am no angel, but believe me, when she gets to 2 or 3 you need to be fully functioning and on the ball. There will be no space for joints outside and keeping an ear out in case she moans while you chill out.

To be blunt, you need to stop making excuses and take control of your mental health. That includes stopping the dope smoking.

And believe me, the downsides of bringing up a kid in a stoner household far outweigh feeding a kid on cow and gate or SMA.

Totally agree with ldn if you carry on smoking you'll psychosis will get worse. Not scaremongering but if you got that ill with your schizophrenia your DC could go into care. Think about it op

Oh. Dear. Lord.

You are not being a good parent, any more than an alcoholic can be. I feel for you, really I do, mental health issues are not fun in particular the one you are describing (and I seriously doubt that your habit could possibly be helping your depression/manic episodes, but really cannot be bothered to look that up), but for what it is worth see a GP, get a new psychiatrist, get back on different medication (there are so many combinations that might keep you more stable without risking the manic episodes) if that is what you need to cope, stop looking after your child whilst high. Take control of this situation.

Your posts are just seriously terribly upsetting. Listen to (nearly) ALL the other posters that are saying what you are doing is just very very very wrong.

[And dangalf how the heck is it 'daily mail' to say that ummm perhaps illegal drugs are not the best way to treat bipolar, and maybe the stuff that actually works and is on prescription might be a better route.]

you should also be very, very aware OP that this IS a child protection issue

I would imagine that you could potentially lose your daughter if social services were involved and you and your husband refused to stop taking drugs around her....

Dont believe a word of this op. Your mother was a heavy cannabis user and you have serious mental health issues yet you have never made any correlation between the two?> Aye right.
My bil is a cannabis addict. He literally cannot get up in the morning without a couple of joints. He has a very dangerous job which requires regular drug testing. However he knows ways round this. When he tried to cut down on his use he ended up on sleeping and anti-anxiety pills. He smokes around/drives with his kids. His wife justifies it as she points out he doesnt drink wine in the evening to unwind?.
You and your dh sound like selfish.selfish indulgent idiots and I hope your dd grows up and realises this.

are you serious?

I don't think smoking joints is any different to anyone who abuses their liver everynight with bottles of wine! I wouldn't do it through pregnancy though, although I know someone who did and her baby was born the other week weighing in at a whopping 9lb 3oz she wasa also 16 days overdue!

monalisa-well I neither smoked nor touched a drink while pregnant but still had to bury 3 of my sons. More fucking fool me eh?.

I am sorry about that but this thread isn't about cot death/children dying. This is about the OP smoking cannabis!

Op, I was very tough on you on my earlier post because of the attitude of the your first two posts I had seen. However, when I posted, I hadn't see your post about your mental health issues.

Please talk to someone about this and get some help to manage all of these related issues. The first step will be the hardest, but think of your dd. Is there a supportive parent or family friend you feel is non judgemental and can support you?

And please start FF today, don't wait. I don't think the benefits of breastfeeding outweigh the weed, not even close.

Yes it is monalisa and imo it is non-justifiable but am sure your chav-tastic friends are all happy blowing their disgusting smoke in their kiddies faces. Stick your sympathy up your arse.

Try to at least cut down on weed, OP.

But imo you should carry BF.

Of course YABU. Of course you should BF though, IMO. Give the child the best chances that you can!

the hysteria on this thread regarding smoking weed and breastfeeding is amazing. dr hale himself has said that the effect of cannabis on breastfeeding is irrelevant. and she says she smokes a few spliffs once the baby is in bed. i am more concerned about the other stories like being on ADs and going to find smack. now that is something to be concerned about - don't go back on the ADs OP fgs!

OP absolutely DO NOT give up breastfeeding for formula just because you smoke a few joints. Give up the tobacco in the joints if at all possible and smoke it pure.

I am concerned about the mental health issues and the weed more than the weed and the breastfeeding.

Brave Post Op. All my dd's were FF and they are perferctly healthy and rarerly ill. I think it would be better to FF if you are unable to stop smoking weed and sort yourself out for your daughter. I dont know anything or if the drugs transfer to the milk so i might be talking bollocks but you could get stoned and drop her iyswim

Pink4ever who lit the fuse on your tampon??

[Shock] chavtastic???? How fucking dare you! I am not a chav I don't have chavtastic mates. You don't know me at all and I don't know you and tbh I don't want to with your attitude. I was stating my opinion and got shot with shit from you.

i have just reread only skimmed at first and i am reassured that others are mentioning dr hale and his view being that he is the toxicology king when it comes to breastfeeding

yes breastmilk 'laced' (love it - what is this, crack?!) with potentially inactive thc molecules is ALOT better than what is commonly known as 'formula'.

'you could get stoned and drop her' oh deary me! ROFL.

Do you actually think you stopping smoking will cause your husband to leave you? is he controlling in other aspects of your life together?